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When it comes to having kids, gay and lesbian couples face a few obvious logistical problems over and above to the sheer drama of bringing them up!  OutinPerth caught up with gay couple Matt and Martin who gave the lowdown on their chosen path to parenthood.

Matt and Martin….
….On Choosing Surrogacy

After a lot of research we found that this was the best option for us.  Surrogacy is a regular practice in the US and  we specifically decided to go to California as this is one of the few places in the world where 2 men could be on the Birth Certificate.  We also found that we were covered completely legally and we  didn’t want to take any risks or not know exactly where we stood throughout the process.  Medically they have some of the best IVF doctors in the world and being that Matt’s sister is our egg donor also, healthcare was a priority.

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First published on 11 May 2009 in Out in Perth.

One of the most noticeable changes in the community in recent years is the increasingly high profile of GLBT families. There’s a diverse range of ways in which people are building families, and a vast range of issues and challenges involved. Over coming months, OUTinPerth will be catching up with people in our community to share some of the stories of the families they’re building and the issues they’re facing. This month, Marnie Woodley shares the story of how she, her partner Leonie and their friend Josh have approached starting a family.

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The Australian Federal Government through their Child Support Agency has released a “Same Sex Fact Sheet” about the changes to the law covering same sex couples and child support issues.  A full copy of the “fact sheet” is available here.  The following situations are exemplified in the “Fact Sheet”.  These laws come in on 1 July 2009.

[Link: Original Document]

The Gay Dads Australia News and Media blog is now easily accessible from all Mobile Phones (including iPhones).  Just simply visit http://gaydadsaustralia.mofuse.mobi/ using your Mobile phone browser, bookmark it and then just visit it to see the latest news on Gay and Lesbian parenting in Australia.  It is that simple.

[Link: Mobile Link]

If you have an Apple iPhone and would like to get this blog as a web app on the iPhone, all you need to do is open Safari on the iPhone and click this link or enter the following in your iPhone Safari browser: http://blog2iphone.com/blogs/GayDadsAustralia/#_home.  This will bring up a specially formatted iPhone web app for Gay Dads Australia news.  To save it, just add it to your home screen.

The Hump Day Crew chat to Rodney from Gay Dads Victoria about the upcoming Forum on Gay Surrogacy, his personal story of the birth of his son Ethan in America and much more around surrogacy.

To find out more about this group visit their website www.gaydadsaustralia.com

Click here to listen to the full interview!

[Link: Original Article]

News.com.au have reported on a Queensland woman who is acting as a surrogate for her gay brother. The baby she’s carrying was fathered by a third party through artificial insemination, and the gay man plans to raise the baby as a single dad. The baby is due early in 2010 and will know who its biological mother is.

The article reports that the surrogacy is illegal in her home state of Queensland.

“Surrogacy laws in Australia are largely regulated by the states and it varies from state to state,” says gay legal professional Ghassan Kassisieh. “In Queensland, all surrogacy is illegal. In NSW, commercial surrogacy (paying a fee or giving a reward for surrogacy services) will be outlawed when the Assisted Reproductive Technology Act 2007 commences, but altruistic surrogacy (where there is no financial gain or reward involved) will remain legal. Advertising for surrogacy services is also illegal in some states.”

“I understand that my own situation is a little different to what people would normally hear about,” the father to be told News.com.au.

“I guess the other thing that makes my situation a little unique is that I intend to be a sole parent. I am single, and am looking forward to being a single dad.”

Rodney Cruise, a spokesperson for Gay Dads Australia, told News.com.au that there could be hundreds of these kinds of surrogacy pregnancies happening out there, despite the illegality. Cruise says that these arrangements are considered, well-planned and that the man is lucky to have a family member who is willing to do this for him.

Some experts say that such arrangements are unnecessarily breaking the bonds between mother, father and child, and that prospective parents can be faced with children who, down the track, may demand to live with their biological parents.

“Sometimes [children] decide not to get along with their parents with whom they live with because they have leaving options. What if the sister didn’t like the way her brother raised her child? She could legally take the child back.”

“Apart from the legality of surrogacy, the big problem is really after a child is born and determining who are the legal parents,” says Kassisieh. “In most states (including NSW), the surrogate mother (and her partner, if any) will be the legal parents and there are very few avenues for having the child legally recognised as the child of the intended parent(s). This is the case even if the surrogacy arrangement goes to plan and the parties are all in agreement.

“In such states, the best option for the intended parents is a parenting order from the Family Court awarding them parental responsibility, however this does not grant all the rights of full legal parentage. The surrogate mother and her partner, if any, remain as the legal parents to the child (e.g. for inheritance reasons, accident compensation, state and federal-based legal rights etc.) for the remainder of their child’s life.

“In some states (e.g. ACT, Victoria, WA), the intended parents can get a court order in some circumstances transfering the legal parentage from the surrogate mother (and her partner, if any) if the surrogate mother consents. This effectively allows the intended parents to ‘adopt’ their child, if all parties agree, the agreement satisfies the conditions of the law, and the court determines that a parentage order would be in the best interests of the child. In other words, the child is fully recognised as the child of the intended parents – and not the child of anyone else.”

[Link: Original Article]

From “Families of Friends” to living with the in-laws, our home life has never been more diverse.  Allison Tait talks to seven Australians about the most important people in their lives.

(Ed: One of those couples is Ben Hall and Arthur Thomson and their four children, Brooke, Emma, Aiden and Ashton)

Gay couple Ben and Arthur say having their children through surrogates was difficult – but definitely worth it.

“Arthur and I went to great lengths to have our children – and we love and appreciate them so much.  A year after we met, in 2000, we approached an American agency that matched us with a surrogate and egg donor.  It was the only option; in Australia, single or gay men can’t adopt.

“For three years, we went through the heartache of failed attempts – either the pregnancies didn’t take, or donors pulled out.  It was a stressful, emotional – and expensive – time.  But I believe in chasing what you want.  You only get one shot at life.  We were there, in South Dakota for the birth of the girls, and the experience was sheer happiness.  I was in awe of, and in love with, these babies.

“All our children are biologically the kids of one of us, but we don’t talk about who.  We’d prefer they were viewed as ‘ours’. We’ve never had a negative response to being two gay dads.  Kids at creche have raised it, but our children just say, ‘I’ve got two daddies’.  We’re mindful the girls need female influences, and they spend time with our female friends.  The kids do ask about their mum, and we say they don’t have one; an egg donor is not a mother. We tell them they have two dads – two dads who love them to death”.

[Link: Original Article]

A WOMAN is due to give birth to a child for her gay brother after impregnating herself with donor sperm from a third party – an act that is illegal in her home state of Queensland.

At the centre of the startling story, the homosexual man says pregnancy tests taken last month have proven that his sister is carrying what will become his first child.

The man, aged in his mid-twenties, said his older sister, who has two teenage children herself, agreed to carry a child for him earlier this year and became pregnant after being artificially inseminated with another man’s sperm.

It is not known if the child, due to be born early next year, will know the identity of its biological mother. It will not have interaction with the biological father.

"I understand that my own situation is a little different to what people would normally hear about," the man told news.com.au in an email.

The siblings declined to be interviewed for this story.

Stephen Page, a partner at Brisbane’s Harrington Family Lawyers and an expert on gay and lesbian law issues, said all surrogacy arrangements in Queensland were illegal.

But Mr Page said the only way for the pregnancy to be legal would be if the child would be treated as her own.

In a post on an internet forum in April, the "gay dad-to-be" admitted that his case was "unorthodox".

"I guess the other thing that makes my situation a little unique is that I intend to be a sole parent. I am single, and am looking forward to being a single dad."

He added that he was not opposed to having a partner after the child’s birth.

Rodney Cruise, a father of two who heads Gay Dads Australia, said he would like congratulate the Queensland man on his good news.

"I think it’s great that the man has a family member so willing to do this," Mr Cruise said.

"(Surrogacy pregnancies) doesn’t happen in a backseat of a car after three Bacardi Breezers, these are well planned and well thought-out.

"Who would (a child) rather want: a loving caring gay father… or an alcoholic woman with an abusive drug addicted partner?

"In terms of the legality of (surrogacy), I’m sure that there’s hundreds and hundreds of cases out there."

But Anglican bishop and academic Tom Frame, who was adopted at a young age and believes that he might never know who his biological father is, said the impact on such an arrangement would be overwhelming for a child.

"We’ve got a child here who will grow up without its biological mother or father," Dr Frame said.

"We are deliberately breaking to bond between the father, the mother and the child. I think if you don’t need to do that, don’t do it."

Dr Frame said if the child did know its aunt was its biological mother, it could react the same way his own sister – who was also adopted – did and demand to live with her.

"Sometimes (children) decide not to get along with their parents with whom they live with because they have leaving options.

"What if the sister didn’t like the way her brother raised her child? She could legally take the child back."

Mr Page said it could be possible for an unmarried person to legally gain custody and guardianship of a child, but adopting it would be difficult.

"(In Queensland) you’ve got to be married for two years to adopt," Mr Page said. "It actively discriminates against gays and lesbians."

He said an unmarried person could seek a Supreme Court order, but the costs of a trial would be overwhelming.

John Morrissey from the Australian Family Association said the child would be born out of "vanity".

"It’s a strange situation," Mr Morrissey said. "It’s not giving the kid a normal family.

"He wants to have a baby, the baby doesn’t get a say (and) it’s not about what the baby wants."

[Link: Original Article]