Matt and Martin….
….On Choosing Surrogacy

After a lot of research we found that this was the best option for us.  Surrogacy is a regular practice in the US and  we specifically decided to go to California as this is one of the few places in the world where 2 men could be on the Birth Certificate.  We also found that we were covered completely legally and we  didn’t want to take any risks or not know exactly where we stood throughout the process.  Medically they have some of the best IVF doctors in the world and being that Matt’s sister is our egg donor also, healthcare was a priority.

…Finding a surrogate mother

We found our surrogate mother through a surrogacy agency in San Diego called Surrogate Alternatives.  After researching and interviewing agencies we registered with Surrogate Alternatives and began going through a database of surrogate mothers and creating a profile about us as a couple and our motivation to be parents. We read through their profiles about themselves, their families and their motivation to be a surrogate.  Once we narrowed it down to a few surrogates we began the process of talking with them and once we spoke with the woman who was to be our surrogate, we knew straight away that she was the one and she felt the same about us!

….Long distance mothering

We don’t have any issues at all.  We talk to her a lot, whether by emails, phone calls or photos on a weekly basis.  We spent a lot of time getting to know here and her family when we were in the US initially and it helps when you get along so well.  Her husband and family are amazing and supportive of the process and she has the most wonderful daughter.  being able to communicate freely with here was a quality that was at the top of our list (other than the obvious healthy lifestyle etc) when we were choosing a surrogate mother, so we felt we were on the pregnancy journey with her.  And she’s not afraid to call us at any hour and share information like her morning sickness or the growth of her belly.

…Other gay dads in the village

You’d be surprised at how many there are in Australia alone, let alone around the world. that have been through surrogacy or are in the process of doing it.  We were lucky enough to find a great online support group called Gay Dads Australia  (www.gaydadsaustralia.com).  This is a fantastic group of Gay Dads & Families that share and collate all their experience and knowledge into an online forum and support group that anyone wanting to become a gay dad can join.  They have forums for each state and a national forum specifically for gay dads going through surrogacy. Unfortunately most of the people we are in contact with are in the Eastern States, we haven’t met many gay dads in WA, especially that have done it or doing it through surrogacy….YET!

….Essential Advice

DO YOUR RESEARCH! That is definitely the most important part, we spent the best part of a year researching and talking to people before making our move.  And find others that have done the same thing, you’ll need the support and experience that they can provide.  We would be more than happy to talk with anyone looking at the possibility of starting their family through Surrogacy.  We want to show people and create awareness of the options and that even if you are gay, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a parent.  And whether you go through adoption or surrogacy or co-parenting, the fact that you’re going to these great lengths just shows you want it more , are ready and will be a great parent!.

One of the most noticeable changes in the community in recent years is the increasingly high profile of GLBT families. There’s a diverse range of ways in which people are building families, and a vast range of issues and challenges involved. Over coming months, OUTinPerth will be catching up with people in our community to share some of the stories of the families they’re building and the issues they’re facing. This month, Marnie Woodley shares the story of how she, her partner Leonie and their friend Josh have approached starting a family.

‘My partner Leonie and I have been together for 7 years. We decided to have a baby and after much consideration, we asked my best gay male friend to be our known donor with a view to him playing an active parenting role in the child’s life. We gave him a year to think about it – and thankfully he said yes. We agreed to use a clinic to protect my parental rights (as the non-bio/non-birth mother) and to protect him from any financial obligation from Centrelink.

‘We talked LOTS and wrote up a five page parenting contract outlining everything we could think of regarding our co-parenting arrangement and had it notarised. Legally Josh will be a donor and as such, will have no legal rights or responsibilities regardless of the contract. However we wanted to make sure we all had similar expectations and we figured it would be a good back up if our relationship ever broke down so badly we ended up in court.

‘We completed the compulsory counselling through the clinic and Leonie and Josh completed all the tests and screening required by the clinic. There is a six month mandatory ‘cooling off’ period in WA if you use a known donor so we started our first IUI cycle in December 2005. Leonie fell pregnant our third round of IUI and had an early miscarriage at 6.5 weeks. We did another 9 rounds of IUI and had 5 more early miscarriages. We then decided to have a break from TTC.

‘Six months later (and a new fertility specialist) we looked into IVF. Over the next 8 months Leonie did 4 full IVF cycles and we got nowhere. Josh moved overseas for a job opportunity, we sold our investment property to fund our treatment and Leonie and I started to look at other options before our relationship disintegrated.

‘Originally we’d agreed that Lone would carry our first child and I would have our second, both with Josh as our donor/dad. We finally agreed on this after months of ‘debating’ about it because I really only wanted one child and therefore I obviously wanted to have the opportunity to be pregnant. But after watching Leonie go through so much and seeing how much she wanted to be pregnant, I realised I didn’t want it like she did. In fact, I had really taken on my role as non-bio/non-birth parent and I couldn’t imagine it any other way. After Leonie’s fourth IVF cycle we were starting to get desperate and we realised the end result was what was important, not how we got there.

‘So we suggested to our specialist that we use my eggs to get Leonie pregnant. I am 8 years younger than Leonie (29/37) and we figured that maybe it was an egg issue. No one could actually tell us why she couldn’t stay pregnant, which was so frustrating because we kept weighing up our options not knowing what was the problem in the first place. Our specialist didn’t know if using my eggs would make a difference but he supported us and we planned my egg pick up. After a cancelled cycle due to low response to the drugs, I finally had surgery on my 29th birthday. We ended up with 6 embryos (we’d only had 2 at most with Leonie) and the very first fresh transfer 5 days after my birthday worked. As I write, Leonie is now 31 weeks pregnant.

‘It’s been a very high risk pregnancy and we have spent most of it terrified that something would go wrong but we are feeling better as more time goes by. Josh has given up his job overseas and returned home ready for our baby to arrive in June. The three of us are very close after everything we’ve been through. Leonie and I came very close to separating from the stress of infertility – it does horrendous things to even the strongest relationship. We adore Josh – he has been such a support and held everything together when we were falling apart. We feel utterly grateful to have each other and be sharing this together.

‘We have also been blessed with some amazing friends and family members – we feel very lucky. We also made new friends through this process. We met Kelly and Sam Pilgrim-Byrne through a GLCS parenting forum, who also went through a very difficult journey to conceive their daughter Charlotte. They were just so supportive and helped us to pick up the pieces every time something went wrong, and we now consider them two of our dearest friends.

‘Our situation is very different to most of the people we people we know. The majority of our lesbian friends with children used anonymous donors through the clinic or had children in previous straight relationships. Some of our gay male friends would love to have children but don’t have the opportunity to do so due to the legal situation and a lack of willing co-parents/surrogates/egg donors. We had other friends offer before we asked Josh and I feel a lot of regret that our decision to ask Josh could ultimately end their opportunity to have children, as parenting options for gay men are still greatly limited.

‘Our precious baby is now due in less than nine weeks and we are starting to feel confident that we will finally have a baby to take home with us. We are well and truly organised and prepared. Nursery decorated, baby clothes and linen washed, birthing classes finished and hospital bag mostly packed. We are just so excited about meeting our baby, and finally putting all our plans and dreams of the last few years into practise at last.’

[Link: Original Article]

[Link: Original Document]

[Link: Mobile Link]

If you have an Apple iPhone and would like to get this blog as a web app on the iPhone, all you need to do is open Safari on the iPhone and click this link or enter the following in your iPhone Safari browser: http://blog2iphone.com/blogs/GayDadsAustralia/#_home.  This will bring up a specially formatted iPhone web app for Gay Dads Australia news.  To save it, just add it to your home screen.

The Hump Day Crew chat to Rodney from Gay Dads Victoria about the upcoming Forum on Gay Surrogacy, his personal story of the birth of his son Ethan in America and much more around surrogacy.

To find out more about this group visit their website www.gaydadsaustralia.com

Click here to listen to the full interview!

[Link: Original Article]

The article reports that the surrogacy is illegal in her home state of Queensland.

“Surrogacy laws in Australia are largely regulated by the states and it varies from state to state,” says gay legal professional Ghassan Kassisieh. “In Queensland, all surrogacy is illegal. In NSW, commercial surrogacy (paying a fee or giving a reward for surrogacy services) will be outlawed when the Assisted Reproductive Technology Act 2007 commences, but altruistic surrogacy (where there is no financial gain or reward involved) will remain legal. Advertising for surrogacy services is also illegal in some states.”

“I understand that my own situation is a little different to what people would normally hear about,” the father to be told News.com.au.

“I guess the other thing that makes my situation a little unique is that I intend to be a sole parent. I am single, and am looking forward to being a single dad.”

Rodney Cruise, a spokesperson for Gay Dads Australia, told News.com.au that there could be hundreds of these kinds of surrogacy pregnancies happening out there, despite the illegality. Cruise says that these arrangements are considered, well-planned and that the man is lucky to have a family member who is willing to do this for him.

Some experts say that such arrangements are unnecessarily breaking the bonds between mother, father and child, and that prospective parents can be faced with children who, down the track, may demand to live with their biological parents.

“Sometimes [children] decide not to get along with their parents with whom they live with because they have leaving options. What if the sister didn’t like the way her brother raised her child? She could legally take the child back.”

“Apart from the legality of surrogacy, the big problem is really after a child is born and determining who are the legal parents,” says Kassisieh. “In most states (including NSW), the surrogate mother (and her partner, if any) will be the legal parents and there are very few avenues for having the child legally recognised as the child of the intended parent(s). This is the case even if the surrogacy arrangement goes to plan and the parties are all in agreement.

“In such states, the best option for the intended parents is a parenting order from the Family Court awarding them parental responsibility, however this does not grant all the rights of full legal parentage. The surrogate mother and her partner, if any, remain as the legal parents to the child (e.g. for inheritance reasons, accident compensation, state and federal-based legal rights etc.) for the remainder of their child’s life.

“In some states (e.g. ACT, Victoria, WA), the intended parents can get a court order in some circumstances transfering the legal parentage from the surrogate mother (and her partner, if any) if the surrogate mother consents. This effectively allows the intended parents to ‘adopt’ their child, if all parties agree, the agreement satisfies the conditions of the law, and the court determines that a parentage order would be in the best interests of the child. In other words, the child is fully recognised as the child of the intended parents – and not the child of anyone else.”

[Link: Original Article]

(Ed: One of those couples is Ben Hall and Arthur Thomson and their four children, Brooke, Emma, Aiden and Ashton)

Gay couple Ben and Arthur say having their children through surrogates was difficult – but definitely worth it.

“Arthur and I went to great lengths to have our children – and we love and appreciate them so much.  A year after we met, in 2000, we approached an American agency that matched us with a surrogate and egg donor.  It was the only option; in Australia, single or gay men can’t adopt.

“For three years, we went through the heartache of failed attempts – either the pregnancies didn’t take, or donors pulled out.  It was a stressful, emotional – and expensive – time.  But I believe in chasing what you want.  You only get one shot at life.  We were there, in South Dakota for the birth of the girls, and the experience was sheer happiness.  I was in awe of, and in love with, these babies.

“All our children are biologically the kids of one of us, but we don’t talk about who.  We’d prefer they were viewed as ‘ours’. We’ve never had a negative response to being two gay dads.  Kids at creche have raised it, but our children just say, ‘I’ve got two daddies’.  We’re mindful the girls need female influences, and they spend time with our female friends.  The kids do ask about their mum, and we say they don’t have one; an egg donor is not a mother. We tell them they have two dads – two dads who love them to death”.

[Link: Original Article]

A WOMAN is due to give birth to a child for her gay brother after impregnating herself with donor sperm from a third party – an act that is illegal in her home state of Queensland.

At the centre of the startling story, the homosexual man says pregnancy tests taken last month have proven that his sister is carrying what will become his first child.

The man, aged in his mid-twenties, said his older sister, who has two teenage children herself, agreed to carry a child for him earlier this year and became pregnant after being artificially inseminated with another man’s sperm.

It is not known if the child, due to be born early next year, will know the identity of its biological mother. It will not have interaction with the biological father.

"I understand that my own situation is a little different to what people would normally hear about," the man told news.com.au in an email.

The siblings declined to be interviewed for this story.

Stephen Page, a partner at Brisbane’s Harrington Family Lawyers and an expert on gay and lesbian law issues, said all surrogacy arrangements in Queensland were illegal.

But Mr Page said the only way for the pregnancy to be legal would be if the child would be treated as her own.

In a post on an internet forum in April, the "gay dad-to-be" admitted that his case was "unorthodox".

"I guess the other thing that makes my situation a little unique is that I intend to be a sole parent. I am single, and am looking forward to being a single dad."

He added that he was not opposed to having a partner after the child’s birth.

Rodney Cruise, a father of two who heads Gay Dads Australia, said he would like congratulate the Queensland man on his good news.

"I think it’s great that the man has a family member so willing to do this," Mr Cruise said.

"(Surrogacy pregnancies) doesn’t happen in a backseat of a car after three Bacardi Breezers, these are well planned and well thought-out.

"Who would (a child) rather want: a loving caring gay father… or an alcoholic woman with an abusive drug addicted partner?

"In terms of the legality of (surrogacy), I’m sure that there’s hundreds and hundreds of cases out there."

But Anglican bishop and academic Tom Frame, who was adopted at a young age and believes that he might never know who his biological father is, said the impact on such an arrangement would be overwhelming for a child.

"We’ve got a child here who will grow up without its biological mother or father," Dr Frame said.

"We are deliberately breaking to bond between the father, the mother and the child. I think if you don’t need to do that, don’t do it."

Dr Frame said if the child did know its aunt was its biological mother, it could react the same way his own sister – who was also adopted – did and demand to live with her.

"Sometimes (children) decide not to get along with their parents with whom they live with because they have leaving options.

"What if the sister didn’t like the way her brother raised her child? She could legally take the child back."

Mr Page said it could be possible for an unmarried person to legally gain custody and guardianship of a child, but adopting it would be difficult.

"(In Queensland) you’ve got to be married for two years to adopt," Mr Page said. "It actively discriminates against gays and lesbians."

He said an unmarried person could seek a Supreme Court order, but the costs of a trial would be overwhelming.

John Morrissey from the Australian Family Association said the child would be born out of "vanity".

"It’s a strange situation," Mr Morrissey said. "It’s not giving the kid a normal family.

"He wants to have a baby, the baby doesn’t get a say (and) it’s not about what the baby wants."

[Link: Original Article]

[Link: Joy 94.9]

Two dads with twins

Click on the above link to watch Trevor and Peter’s Sixty Minutes story on the birth of their twins via surrogacy in India.

Mr Nile met the Premier two weeks ago and lobbied for the dumping of plans to legalise adoption by same-sex couples – something the gay community has been fighting for for years.

It was reported two years ago that legislation to allow same-sex couples to adopt was not far away after discussions involving the NSW Attorney-General, John Hatzistergos.

Last year the Community Services Minister, Linda Burney, sent the proposal to a parliamentary inquiry, which is due to report soon.

Mr Rees is said by some to have spoken last year about how he would be prepared to take on the likes of the Catholic Archbishop of Sydney, George Pell, on the bill. But now sources say he is backing down. Mr Nile denies he would be part of any "deal" but confirmed discussing the matter with Mr Rees a fortnight ago in the Premier’s office at Parliament House.

"I don’t know anything officially but we’d be very pleased if it’s off the agenda," Mr Nile said.

"I obviously don’t support it. We have had a few discussions over the past few months. I have got no guarantee but I am hoping it [dropping the proposal] will occur."

The co-convener of the Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby, Emily Gray, said gay adoption legislation had already been introduced in Western Australia and there had been other gay law reforms here, so holding up gay adoption legislation would be a case of "politics over equality".

"NSW guaranteed de facto status to same-sex couples in 1999. Last June the Government introduced laws recognising lesbian mothers. We would say the one thing that remains in the way of equality in NSW for same-sex couples and their families is the … adoption laws," Ms Gray said.

Passing the legislation was mostly about benefiting existing couples, she said.

For example, a woman may have a child through artificial insemination and meet a lesbian partner when the child was very young but, under present arrangements, the other woman would not be able to adopt the baby as a parent.

Mr Nile said he had also asked the Premier to agree to 12 private member’s bills, including "Nicole’s law" – a proposal by Mr Nile to name all pedophiles on an internet site, similar to the infamous "Megan’s law" in the United States.

He denied the passage of government bills was discussed.

"I have never made a deal in my life," Mr Nile said.

A Greens MP, Lee Rhiannon, said she had wanted to introduce her own private member’s bill two years ago that would have given the green light to gay adoption, but the Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby had believed they would be successful with the Government.

"[Mr] Rees should respect the role of the Legislative Council to debate and vote on bills on their merit, rather than do backroom deals with [Mr] Nile," Ms Rhiannon said.

A spokeswoman for Mr Rees said: "The Premier doesn’t comment on private meetings but regarding the issue, he has heard a range of views and there’s currently a parliamentary inquiry in the upper house [on the matter]."

[Link: Original Article]

LIZ HAYES: In a hospital in the suburbs of Mumbai, an Indian woman is about to give birth to twins. But of the 24 million births in Indian every year, these babies will be among the first of a new era. In the waiting room outside the theatre the anxious parents are pacing. Any last minute thoughts?

PETER WEST: Is it too late to go back? (LAUGHS)

TREVOR ELWELL: Don’t even go there!

LIZ HAYES: Trevor Elwell and Peter West, a gay couple from Melbourne, have paid $40,000 for this moment – children conceived with their sperm in a test tube from donated eggs and implanted into another woman. Surrogate babies – now available to just about anyone who wants one. What are you thinking? Boys, girls, boy and girl?

PETER WEST: A boy and a girl would be good but we think it’s going be two boys. As long as they’ve got 10 fingers and 10 toes and all the bits in between, that’s all that matters.

LIZ HAYES: That is all that matters. For the surrogate who has no genetic link to the babies she’s carried, giving birth is the end of a 9-month business arrangement. She and the woman who donated her eggs have agreed never to see these children. Instead, the babies are cleaned up and immediately introduced to their fathers. The only parents they’ll ever know. DOCTOR: Hearty, hearty congratulations, two lovely baby girls.

PETER WEST: Oh, thank you. DOCTOR: I will get them for you.

TREVOR ELWELL: Oh, bless you, bless you.

PETER WEST: Aren’t they beautiful.

TREVOR ELWELL: Yes, you are, aren’t you.

LIZ HAYES: Welcome to the rest of your life. How does it feel?

PETER WEST: Words can’t describe it.

LIZ HAYES: This is the most natural thing in the world for you now?

PETER WEST: Oh yeah, oh yeah.

LIZ HAYES: This story began four years ago in the suburbs of Melbourne. Peter and Trevor were in a serious relationship, both successful in work, Peter runs a small business from home and Trevor is an IT consultant. And they share a comfortable home. But still, it wasn’t enough.

PETER WEST: I can’t imagine my life without children. There’d definitely be something missing. our lives just wouldn’t seem complete.

LIZ HAYES: Are you getting a sense of the clock ticking?

PETER WEST: Oh definitely, there’s definitely the maternity clock.

LIZ HAYES: In your case the paternity clock?

PETER WEST: Yes! There’s definitely a genetic clock ticking, of some sort, in there, yes. The obvious problem Peter and Trevor had is that they’re men. And as a gay couple, adoption and commercial surrogacy is illegal in Australia. Ironically India, a country where it’s against the law to be homosexual, provided the surrogate solution. Of course, you’re gay, has that stopped you in the least?

PETER WEST: I’m not but my boyfriend is.

LIZ HAYES: Did that stop you in the least in considering having children?

PETER WEST: It didn’t stop us but it made us pause.

TREVOR ELWELL: But our lives are so embedded with friends, family that have children, it just did not seem an issue.

LIZ HAYES: So you’re just a couple of boys from the ‘burbs who wanted babies?

PETER WEST: Pretty much, yeah.

LIZ HAYES: For those who, for whatever reason, can’t have children, the desire to be parents can be overwhelming and like Peter and Trevor, they’ll search the world to fulfil their dreams. Many come here to Rotunda Clinic in Mumbai. From the outside it may not be what you were hoping for, but step inside and you could be well on your way to starting a family.

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: It’s going to take just two minutes this is a non-invasive procedure.

LIZ HAYES: Dr Gautam Allahbadia is a fertility specialist who runs what he describes as "a baby factory". So you’re standing right where it all happens?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes, this is our temple.

LIZ HAYES: It’s standard IVF. But what sets Dr Allahbadia apart is that his services are available to everyone, regardless of sexual preference or marital status.

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: I believe every human being has a right to procreate and as long as I’m practising medicine within the Indian law, you know, I would offer this service to anybody.

LIZ HAYES: So single men, single women?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes.

LIZ HAYES: Gay couples?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes.

LIZ HAYES: Anyone who can’t have a baby comes to you?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Yes, and we are getting more and more complex cases.

PETER WEST: We’re a same sex couple, is that going to be an issue? Brilliant.

LIZ HAYES: Peter and Trevor found the clinic on the web. It’s a one-stop shop, where eggs and sperm and the services of surrogates can be purchased. Trevor and Peter selected the mother of their twins without meeting her. Was there any particular characteristic, though, that you thought…yes!

PETER WEST: Yeah, she’s had pregnancies before, she’s healthy, she doesn’t have any blood disorders or issues or anything like that.

TREVOR ELWELL: At the end of the day you just go, "she looks like a nice lady".

LIZ HAYES: Donor eggs can be bought for about a $1,000. They’re then fertilised in the laboratory and implanted into a surrogate who receives about $5,000. And if this process seems to lack romance now, it’s about to get a whole lot more impersonal.

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: The most fascinating thing is that you don’t have to come to India. You have to just send your sperms by DHL. We find an egg donor. We get your surrogate pregnant. You just come down, pick up your baby, and go back home.

LIZ HAYES: My head spins. I don’t even have to attend?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: But this is what is happening and this is the future. We have very busy Americans, single men, lawyers, professionals, doctors, at the pinnacle of their profession who say they don’t have the time to take out a week and come down to India.

LIZ HAYES: Trevor and Peter did visit the clinic to start the process, but have still had to watch the pregnancy from 10,000km away.

TREVOR ELWELL: We don’t get to be there. A heterosexual couple who, where the wife is pregnant you know, the husband gets to see the baby grow the woman gets to feel the baby inside her. We actually haven’t had that yet.

LIZ HAYES: Have you had cravings? Have you had growing pains?

PETER WEST: Pickles and icecream? No,

TREVOR ELWELL: But we’ve actually felt a huge change within us occur.

PETER WEST: And this is the new nursery.

LIZ HAYES: Oh my goodness, it looks like a shop. That change has seen them nesting… ..and of course there’s that time honoured baby shower. Any fears?

PETER WEST: Oh hell yeah! Absolutely terrified, absolutely terrified, but the good type of terrified.

LIZ HAYES: Finally, last week, after all the preparation and expectation Trevor and Peter became a family of four. And like most first time parents it’s all a bit overwhelming.

PETER WEST: This is Gaia Ellen Kathleen. This is Evelyn Grace Honor.

LIZ HAYES: Wow, beautiful names.

TREVOR ELWELL: Beautiful girls!

LIZ HAYES: Gaia and Evelyn are healthy and content. Trevor will take leave to help Peter care for their babies. The surrogate, the woman who gave birth to them, prefers to remain anonymous. But there are many like her, women prepared to rent their wombs. Poverty-stricken women like Razia. Razia was paid US$5,000 to deliver twins two years ago. But she did it in total secrecy. How did you explain to people when you had your babies and they were not with you? TRANSLATOR: For the people who found out that she’d gone to hospital her husband told them that the child was not doing well, and had to be kept in an incubator. And when she came back home she said "look, I’m you know, "the child didn’t surviv
e."

LIZ HAYES: The money has helped Razia and her husband, a tuk tuk driver, educate their three children. They’re also saving for a new home. And despite it being against her Muslim beliefs, she’s going to do it all again. Would it matter to you if the parents were gay? TRANSLATOR: No, she’s not happy about that.

LIZ HAYES: But you do know it is possible that that could happen? TRANSLATOR: Yes, she’s heard about these things but she’d rather do it for a couple who’s really looking for children.

LIZ HAYES: Would it be disappointing to learn that the surrogate doesn’t approve?

TREVOR ELWELL: No, not really. We’re just content and happy. We’re a good couple, were good people we’ll do as good or bad job as any old heterosexual father, mother, you know, we’ll make the same mistakes. Parents! Show me a perfect parent.

LIZ HAYES: I don’t know of any,

TREVOR ELWELL: That’s right!

LIZ HAYES: Do you ever stop and think about the children that you’re creating and the complex way that they’re being brought into the world?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Maybe I’m too busy doing making babies now, I haven’t really sat down and contemplated and thought.

LIZ HAYES: Isn’t it morally proper for us to consider the children?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: Isn’t it morally right that every human being is entitled to propagate his own genes?

LIZ HAYES: But aren’t these children burdened, before they draw their first breath?

DR. GAUTAM ALLAHBADIA: I don’t think so. Because the world is changing rapidly. By the time they are adults, by the time they grow up I think this will be the norm rather than an exception.

LIZ HAYES: How will you tell your children or are you just going to let them work it out?

TREVOR ELWELL: There’s no hiding the fact that we’re two guys. They’re gonna grow up finding this totally normal until they see otherwise and then, you know, when they start asking questions we’ll give them the answers.

LIZ HAYES: Yeah, they’re pretty big issues for kiddies, aren’t they?

PETER WEST: Yep.

LIZ HAYES: Gay dads, donor eggs, surrogate, India.

TREVOR ELWELL: Yeah.

LIZ HAYES: You’ve got answers?

TREVOR ELWELL: Getting answers. Step by step.

LIZ HAYES: Having your own children is now possible for so many for whom this once could never be. It’s just a matter of price. Love it or hate it, there’s no stopping it. Although in this case it’s easy to see that these babies are truly treasured.

TREVOR ELWELL: The last week I’ve had two sleepless nights just waking up thinking about the babies and it’s a completely different fear than I’ve ever had in my life. You know, this is the one thing you can’t give up. This is the one thing where there is no choice, it has to work.

LIZ HAYES: There’s no turning back.

PETER WEST: And it will work.

TREVOR ELWELL: It will work.

[Link: Original Article]

Trevor Elwell and Peter West paid $40,000 for a woman in India to give birth to their twin girls Gaia and Evelyn, the Nine Network’s 60 Minutes will report tonight.

The girls, born last week, were conceived with the couple’s sperm in a test tube with eggs bought over the internet.

Adoption and commercial surrogacy is illegal for homosexuals in Australia, but there is no law against providing the service in India.

Fertility specialist Dr Gautum Allahbadia, who coordinated the birth of the twins, said he had no scruples about helping Elwell and West start a family.

"I believe every human being has a right to procreate and as long as I’m practising medicine within the purview of Indian law … I would offer this service to anybody," he said.

Dr Allahbadia said the process of ordering a surrogate baby had been made remarkably simple.

"The most fascinating thing is that you don’t have to come to India," he said.

"You have to just send your sperm by [courier]. We find an egg donor, we get your surrogate pregnant.

"You just come down, pick up your baby, and go back home."

Elwell and West told 60 Minutes the birth of their twin girls had felt natural and "absolutely right".

But West conceded there would come a time when some difficult questions were directed their way.

"There’s no hiding the fact that we’re two guys," he said.

"They’re going to grow up finding this totally normal until they see otherwise and then, you know, when they start asking questions we’ll give them the answers."

[Link: Original Article]

In the last few days, my attention was drawn to a decision of the Family Court from last year, Wells and Roberts (No 2). This was a case concerning the care of children, and whether they should see their father in the UK. The father had not filed relevant documentation for the trial.
What struck me when I read the judgment was what it didn’t say. This is the relevant passage from the judgment:

The mother lives in Sydney with her partner, Ms M, who is 55 years of age. The mother and Ms M have been in a relationship since late 2003. Ms M has three sons, aged 28, 26, and 24; two of whom live in Australia.

That’s it. Nothing was said that the mother and Ms M were in a lesbian relationship. Nothing was said that was in any way critical of that relationship. Ms M only gained one further mention in the judgment, when she was described as the mother’s witness.

What was particularly striking about this passage was that there was no issue about the sexual orientation of the mother and her partner, and the focus of the case was where it should have been – what was in the best interests of the children, without being hung up on preconceptions and prejudice.

[Link: Original Article]

In a statement released by Bligh last month, the Premier said the move would give hundreds of couples the opportunity to have children.

"As a mother, I know the incredible joys parenthood can bring,” Bligh said.

“[This] decision means Queenslanders who are not able to conceive a child of their own will now have a legal avenue to do so.”

The decision follows the unanimous recommendation of a Joint Parliamentary Committee last year, to change the current Queensland law which makes all forms of surrogacy illegal.

The committee recommended decriminalising the practice of altruistic surrogacy – where a woman agrees to bear a child for another person, for no financial gain or personal benefit.

“The reality is, for some people, surrogacy is their only chance of starting a family,” said Bligh.

“It is not fair that their genuine efforts to do so could land them in jail, or see them face fines of up to $10,000.”

Queensland is currently the only state in Australia where altruistic surrogacy is considered a crime, punishable by jail.

The law will officially change by the end of this year.

[Link: Original Article]

It used to be that "Delhi belly" meant something less than pleasant was on its way. Well not any longer.

It could now mean you’ve made the ultimate decision, and hired a womb. An Indian woman whose taken on the job of giving birth to your child.

India has now become a major player in the baby-making business providing everything you need. Donor sperm, eggs and wombs-for-rent can all be found under the one fertility clinic roof.

I travelled to India to meet up with Peter and Trevor, a gay couple from Melbourne who had made the investment.

Nine months before they’d begun the pregnancy process after purchasing eggs from a donor and engaging the services of a surrogate, at a Mumbai fertility clinic.

They’re now the proud, genetic fathers of twin girls.

None of this is new, of course. In America, for hundreds of thousands of dollars you can do the same. In India, it’s much cheaper and there are fewer rules about who gets to be a parent this way.

Making babies is now something anyone can do. Single men and women, gay and straight, combinations of all kinds can sign up today!

And if you’re a man, you don’t even have to turn up to make a "deposit". You can courier your frozen sperm to the clinic and it will take care of the rest.

As long as you make the trip nine months later, and the bills are paid, that little bundle of joy is yours.

Yes, yes, it is the ultimate Indian outsourcing industry.

Women, so many of them, are prepared to sell their eggs or carry someone else’s child for a fee. And there are plenty of banks of sperm. But, if you’ve ever been to India, it’s not entirely a surprise.

Poverty is so very real for many families that when the chance to make more money in nine months than most could make in nineteen years comes along, it’s a no-brainer.

The surrogates I met are young mothers with children of their own. The money they earn will make an enormous difference to their lives, although I got the feeling that giving birth to babies for gay couples wasn’t high on their agenda.

And their husbands took some convincing, too. Many didn’t believe pregnancy was possible without sexual contact. But, once the birds and the bees of the test tube tango was explained, all was well.

Still, surrogacy is often done in secrecy. Women don’t usually want others to know and are afraid of the shame they may suffer for doing so. So they pretend the baby they’re carrying is theirs and then, when it fails to come home with them, claim that the worst has happened. The baby has died.

It’s a complicated and emotionally charged issue for everyone.

Dip your toe into the argument about the rights and wrongs of children brought into the world this way and prepare for a battle royal. I’m already suffering a nasty chaffing from the fence I know I’m straddling, but really, I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing.

Plenty will tell you that making babies this way doesn’t lessen their commitment or love for their children. Quite the opposite.

Perhaps it’s because it’s a business, I feel this unease. I’m not sure.

What I am sure of is it’s a reality … and it isn’t going away.

[Link: Original Article]

SURROGACY FORUM FOR GAY MEN
Gay Dads Australia
www.gaydadsaustralia.com
info@gaydadsaustralia.com

JUNE 06 2009
2:00-4.00pm

Many Gay men are now becoming Dads via surrogacy. There are Surrogacy Agencies in the United States, Canada and India all helping Australian Gay men become fathers.

Presented by members of Gay Dads Australia, the forum will be held in Melbourne and provide an opportunity for local gay men to find out more about Surrogacy and the options available in countries such as the USA, Canada and India. There is no cost to attend.  The forum will be held on Saturday 06 June 2009 from 2 to 4 pm.

This is a great opportunity for interested gay singles or couples to have some of their questions answered.

- how does surrogacy work?
- how do the surrogacy laws work in the US, Canada, India?
- how do I bring my child back into Australia?
- can anyone do it
- how much does it cost

For more information contact
Gay Dads Australia
info@gaydadsaustralia.com

A final report into the NSW same-sex adoption inquiry has been postponed after the NSW Attorney General intervened in an Administrative Decisions Tribunal decision.

The highly anticipated report was due last month but has been held up while a decision is rendered in a landmark same-sex foster case, which went on appeal before the Administrative Decisions Tribunal two weeks ago.

The Wesley Mission last month appealed the decision from the 2008 case ‘OV and another v QZ and another’, in which it was found the religious-based organisation had unfairly discriminated against a same-sex couple who had applied to become foster parents.

The original case found that the organisation was not protected by religious exemptions in the Anti-Discrimination Act in its decisions to deny same-sex couples access to its foster services.

Wesley Mission was subsequently required to pay $10,000 in damages and to review its services to eliminate practices which discriminated against homosexuals.

The organisation has since appealed to the ADT to take the case to the Supreme Court.

Sydney Star Observer understands that Wesley’s action came backed by a statement from NSW Attorney General John Hatzistergos, who intervened in the case. He is said to have made a submission pointing out the state’s reliance on religious organisations for community services.

The Star has requested a copy of the submission from both the ADT and the Attorney General’s office and is awaiting a response.

A spokesman for the Attorney General’s office denied that any comments made to the ADT favoured either side of the case.

“The Attorney’s intervention in the case is not to ‘back’ or ‘support’ one party over the other. The Attorney has intervened to assist the Tribunal by providing a view as to the Government’s understanding of the effect of certain statutory provisions in the Anti-Discrimination Act,” he said.

It is expected that a decision will not be made on the Wesley appeal case for several months

[Link: Original Article]