Gay Dads Australia

Stephen Page from the Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog is always quick with the news and his blog is one I read daily. He has just posted the Ministerial Media Statement about the legalisation of surrogacy in Queensland:

Altruistic Surrogacy to be decriminalised in Queensland

The Bligh Government will decriminalise altruistic surrogacy in Queensland, giving hundreds of women and couples the opportunity to have children.

Premier Anna Bligh said the decision of the government today would give Queenslanders who were unable to conceive a child fresh hope of starting a family.

"As a mother, I know the incredible joys parenthood can bring," Ms Bligh said.

"Today’s decision means Queenslanders who are not able to conceive a child of their own will now have a legal avenue to do so.

"The decision follows the unanimous recommendation of a Joint Parliamentary Committee last year, to change the current Queensland law which makes all forms of surrogacy illegal.The committee recommended decriminalising the practice of altruistic surrogacy – where a woman agrees to bear a child for another person, for no financial gain or personal benefit.

"Cabinet has provided in principle support for the committee’s recommendations, and we have agreed to take the necessary action to see the practice of altruistic surrogacy decriminalised.

"The reality is, for some people, surrogacy is their only chance of starting a family. It is not fair that their genuine efforts to do so could land them in jail, or see them face fines of up to $10,000.

"Queensland is currently the only state in Australia where altruistic surrogacy is considered a crime, punishable by jail.

"This government’s decision will ensure Queenslanders now have the chance to consider this option, without fear of a prison sentence."

Attorney-General Cameron Dick said that the decriminalisation of altruistic surrogacy has a range of regulatory implications regarding parentage in Queensland.

"The Government will develop a mechanism to allow the transfer of legal parentage from the birth mother to the child’s intending parents in altruistic surrogacy arrangements," Mr Dick said.

"This legal framework to support transfer of legal parentage is an issue that requires close consideration by governments at both the state and federal level."

Mr Dick said the national Standing Committee of Attorneys-General is set to discuss this issue at its next meeting in August this year.

"It is important that we achieve some level of cross-jurisdictional consistency, to ensure no child in Australia is disadvantaged."
He said the committee had also recommended the government conduct a review of the status of children being cared for by same-sex parents.

"This is a complex and sensitive issue that attracts strong and diverse views but the government is committing to undertake a review of the legal status of children being cared for by same-sex parents. "

At the end of the day, we want to ensure that all people who want to be parents have the opportunity to be – and most importantly, that all children are treated equally."

Ms Bligh said commercial surrogacy will remain illegal.

"We do not agree with the practice of people using surrogacy as a means of making money.

"Anyone involved in this practice will continue to face fines of up to $10,000 or a maximum of three years imprisonment.

"The legislative changes to decriminalise altruistic surrogacy will be in place by the end of the year.

[Link: Original Article]

Lobby groups in Qld say Premier Anna Bligh has turned a blind eye to the plight of gay parents. (Reuters: Max Rossi, file photo)

Audio: Same sex couples in Queensland push for equal parental rights. (AM)

The Prime Minister might be pushing ahead with same sex law reform but state Labor governments in Queensland and South Australia are not following the federal lead.

Gay and lesbian couples are not recognised in the two states and they say living under two contradictory legal systems is cruel, particularly when children are involved.

Lobby groups in Queensland say Premier Anna Bligh has turned a blind eye to the plight of gay parents, and they want that influential Queenslander, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd, to help them.

Louise DuChesne and Molly Galea are a lesbian couple living in Brisbane and discovering the joys of parenthood to 17-month-old twins Joseph and Lucienne.

Ms Galea is the children’s biological mother, but as the non-biological mother, Ms DuChesne is also fighting for her parental rights because Queensland, like South Australia, does not recognise same sex couples.

“I’m not legally validated or legally acknowledged but I mean the piece of paper is important, being on the birth certificate is important,” she said.

“The way we came into this was both of us trying to get pregnant and it was that Molly was the one who got pregnant. I have two children. It is not like I need children of my own. These are my children.”

But the twins are not Ms DuChesne’s children in the eyes of the law in Queensland.

At a federal level it is a different story. Mr Rudd is pushing ahead with his same sex law reform so that by July even Centrelink will recognise gay couples.

It is this contradiction between Commonwealth and state that is making things confusing and difficult for same sex partners.

Ms Galea says problems regularly crop up in day to day life.

“There is things like health services may refuse Louise being able to take them to health services, because Louise isn’t actually a guardian, so that is a bit insulting,” she said.

“But also if I died, I would want Louise to be bringing up the children, obviously, as their mother. But because she is not seen as the next of kin, there might be some hoops to jump through.”

Shelley Argent is the national spokesperson of PFLAG – Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians.

She agrees the inconsistency between federal laws and those in Queensland is cruel and insulting.

“Couples could come from another state who are recognised, they move into Queensland and Queensland does recognise them but they don’t recognise their own couples here in Queensland,” she said.

Ms Argent says Premier Bligh is deliberately avoiding the issue of same sex rights in Queensland now that she has won the state election.

“They initially phoned me saying would I like a meeting and now, a month later, they are saying send in an email or a letter and we will consider it,” she said.

Ms Bligh’s office did not return the ABC’s calls, nor did Queensland’s Attorney-General.

[Link: Original Article]

[Link: Audio]

Fresh from her re-election, Queensland Premier Anna Bligh has announced that Queensland will legalise altruistic surrogacy by the end of this year.

She also indicated that Labor MP’s will not have the choice of a conscience vote: they will have to toe the party line, which is to allow this change through.

The Premier’s approach is consistent with an all party committee, chaired by former Attorney-General Linda Lavarch, which recommended that altruistic surrogacy in Queensland be permitted..

Queensland currently has the most regressive laws in the country. All surrogacy is banned. Any Queenslander entering into a surrogacy arrangement, whether in Queensland or anywhere else int he world, commits an offence in Queensland.

[Link: Original Article]

NSW is lagging behind other states because, without a parenting order, a donor or co-parent has no legal rights, a same-sex parenting expert says. Professor Jenni Millbank, from the Faculty of Law at the University of Technology, says there is a growing awareness in the community that "not everybody raising a child is their biological parent".

But unlike in Western Australia, the ACT and Northern Territory, where the partner of the biological parent is automatically awarded co-parent status, much like the male partner of a woman who conceives through IVF, there is no such provision in NSW.

Professor Millbank says while proof of ongoing involvement in the life of the child can be used in court in the event of a dispute, "there is no excuse for NSW to be so slow at recognising parenting rights for same-sex couples".

A spokesman for Attorney-General John Hatzistergos says his Victorian counterpart, Rob Hulls, has indicated his intention to raise the issue of same-sex parental rights at this week’s Standing Committee of Attorneys-General meeting. But he says the Iemma Government has no plans to update NSW legislation.

Research conducted in Australia and the US shows up to 10percent of gay men and 20percent of lesbians are parents. Up to half of these parents had children in a previous heterosexual relationship, but this proportion appears to be declining.

The 2006 Private Lives report which surveyed 5476 lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and intersex people across Australia found 25.6percent had children while a 2005 Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby report indicated that 18.6percent had children.

[Source: Original Article]

The Same-Sex Relationships (Equal Treatment in Commonwealth Laws–General Law Reform) Act 2008 (the Amending Act) amends the Australian Citizenship Act 2007 (the Act). The Amending Act received Royal Assent on 9 December 2008. Part 1 of Schedule 10 to the Amending Act will commence by proclamation on 15 March 2009.

The Amending Act amends the Act to remove discrimination between same-sex and opposite-sex de facto couples, and their children.
Affected legislation

The following provisions of the Act are amended:

* Section 3
* Section 6
* Section 8
* Subsection 22(9)
* Subsection 22(10)

Additional information:

Under the amendments, married couples and de facto couples (whether of the same-sex or opposite-sex) will be recognised as the parents of the child(ren) that they have had as a result of artificial conception procedures with the use of donated genetic material or through a surrogacy arrangement under a prescribed State or Territory law (both as recognised under the Family Law Act 1975). Such parents will additionally be recognised as ‘responsible parents’ of their child(ren). Amendments will also provide parity between same-sex and opposite-sex de facto couples in accessing the residence discretion to count time spent outside Australia as time spent in Australia in meeting the residence requirement for Australian citizenship by conferral.

Application of the new provisions:

Application of amendments affecting sections 3, 6 and 8
The amendments affecting sections 3, 6 and 8 of the Act apply in relation to the acquisition or cessation of Australian citizenship on or after 15 March 2009 because of circumstances (including relationships) existing before, on or after 15 March 2009.

Application of amendments of section 22
The amendments of section 22 of the Act apply in relation to applications to become an Australian citizen:

1. that are made on or after 15 March 2009; or
2. that:
1. were made before 15 March 2009; and
2. were applications in relation to which decisions were not made before 15 March 2009 to approve, or to refuse to approve, the applicants becoming Australian citizens.

Forms: The following forms will be affected:

* Form 1299i – How to apply for Australian citizenship by conferral.

Instructions: Chapters 1, 3 and 5 of the Australian Citizenship Instructions will be amended to take effect on 15 March 2009, when the legislative changes take effect.

[Link: Original Article]

Stephen Page from the Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog has posted a summary and links to a recent Federal Magistrates Court case which has relevance to both Gay and Lesbian couples who have had children via artificial reproduction or are planning to go down that path.

“In the recent Federal Magistrates Court case of Keaton and Aldridge, the court had to consider who was a “parent” within the meaning of s.60H of the Family Law Act.

The issue of when they were in a de facto relationship was important- if the requirement was that they needed to be in a de facto relationship as the time of conception, then Ms Keaton may not be a parent as they may not have been not living together; but if it were at the time of birth, then she would be a parent because by that time they were living together”.

[Link: Original Article]
[Link: Original Case]

Twelve-year-old Brenna Harding stared down conservative MPs David Clark and Fred Nile while giving evidence before the same-sex adoption inquiry.

The daughter of Vicki Harding and Jackie Braw told the committee last week she wanted her second mum, Jackie, to adopt her so they could be recognised as a family.

“I think it would be great if she was legally recognised. I mean, I already recognise her as my mum. But legally there are things like medical [issues...],” Brenna said.

Neither Clark nor Nile had any questions for Brenna or her mothers, despite the committee’s intense interrogation of the Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby earlier.

A third conservative MP on the committee, Labor MLC Greg Donnelly, made no attempt to hide his hostility to a dad-free family and pressed Brenna seven times on her relationship with her biological father.

“He’s not my father, he’s my donor. He doesn’t live with me, he hasn’t raised me. I see him but he isn’t like Jackie,” she responded.

Donnelly, a conservative Catholic and former secretary of the Shop, Distributive and Allied Employees Union, continued to press the family to respond to US research on single mothers.

“A daughter has special needs of her father especially the approval of her attractiveness as a person, acceptance of body shape, encouraging the confidence to say no to drugs, and understanding what she should expect in her relationships with men including sexuality,” he quoted.

Brenna said she felt her mothers had those things quite under control.

“There are plenty of families with fathers where those messages are not delivered to their daughters. The proof is in the pudding, the children,” Vicki Harding added.

The mothers had selected a school they knew would be good for Brenna, and addressed teasing by other students.

“Kids find amazing reasons to tease kids. We had a very slight issue in grade three. This boy had heard those teasing words somewhere, he was eight years old, it hasn’t come out of thin air,” Vicki Harding said.

“He’s heard that at home, in his community somewhere. If there wasn’t discrimination this situation wouldn’t arise.”

“It’s not do we have children as GLBTs, because anybody’s children could be teased.”

The Harding mother and daughter team are known in same-sex parenting circles as the co-authors of the Learn To Include children’s books.

[Link: Original Article]

“I have two Dads. They wash my clothes, they make me breakfast. They are also my Mums. If people ask me why I have two Dads, I just shrug These are the words of a new childrens song from Holland. Children are a timeless subject and a challenge that can take over your entire life. They laugh and cry, and piss and crap just like us, except they cant control it. They can rob us of the time to have a drink, and even stop us caring about our appearances. They can make us cry, and make us painfully aware that were already over the hill. But none of this stops even the most youthful and flamboyant of gays longing for a child. There are many ways to do it: have one yourself, have someone else have one for you, adopt one, have one for someone else, get one at a sperm bank, ask a friend to lend a hand, and so on gays can even turn having a kid into a variety show. But ultimately everyone seems happy for a little karmic retribution for their wild days. QAFBeijing has invited two gay couples, one who want to have a child, and another who are preparing for imminent fatherhood, onto the show. All comrades considering children listen well, dont be too hasty. Dont make any decisions until youve seen this episode”

[Link: Original Video]
[Link: Queer as Folk Beijing]

A Christian group has told a NSW parliamentary inquiry gay people are using children for symbolic gains in pursuing their right to adopt.

The Australian Christian Lobby (ACL) told the Standing Committee of Law and Justice’s inquiry into adoption by same sex couples that children should ideally be raised by a mother and father.

The parliamentary inquiry follows a request from Community Services Minister Linda Burney to look at altering the NSW Adoption Act to allow same-sex couples to adopt.

Under NSW law, a single gay person can adopt a child but their partner is not legally recognised as a parent.

The lobby’s submission, which was scrutinised by committee members from all sides of politics, said a homosexual relationship did not provide a stable environment for a child.

“Research shows that the most stable relationship is a married heterosexual relationship and that’s where there is the least promiscuity,” ACL spokesman Lyle Shelton told the inquiry.

The move to legalise adoption by same-sex couples was ideologically driven by gay activists, Mr Shelton said.

“Not content with having discrimination removed, (they) are now pursuing symbolic gains and holding up children as trophies for their own agenda,” he said.

Labor MP Amanda Fazio challenged the group’s views on homosexual promiscuity, saying one quarter of children to married couples are not fathered by the husband.

“If you’re going to use promiscuity as a basis for denying people the right to adoption, then how are you going to apply that across the board … to the heterosexual community?” Ms Fazio asked.

“It seems to me that’s just an attempt to smear gay men in their attempts to gain the right to adopt.”

Liberal MP John Ajaka also questioned the group’s stance on protecting the nuclear family.

“Not all children today are raised by a mother or father. Many are raised … by one parent only. Many are raised by a grandmother and a grandfather,” Mr Ajaka said.

“You’ve got children who have been adopted by a single person and that person may be gay or lesbian.

“How can you put that together with your concept that the normal family is a man and a woman in a loving relationship when that really does not exist today.”

[Link: Original Article]

A NSW parliamentary inquiry is investigating whether to extend adoption rights to same sex couples

A NSW parliamentary inquiry is investigating whether to extend adoption rights to same sex couples (AAP: Sam Mooy)

A major children’s welfare service in New South Wales says it would support changes to the law to allow same sex couples to adopt children.

The chief executive of Barnardos, Louise Voight, has appeared before a parliamentary inquiry which is examining whether there needs to be changes to the Adoption Act.

The charity deals with abused children, and encourages its foster carers to think about adoption.

Ms Voight says eight per cent of its carers are same sex couples, and she has seen no research to suggest they would not make good adoptive parents.

“Outcome research that has been done, that i am aware of, where in fact they have looked at what the effects upon children are, have not shown detrimental effects,” she said.

However, Jane West, who is in charge of adoptions at Anglicare, has told the inquiry that the current rules should not be changed.

She says ideally the child should be placed in a situation that promotes their emotional and social development.

“Same sex adoptive parenting is outside the norm, and adopted children already struggle with feelings of difference,” she said.

“In Anglicare’s view, it is important to avoid imposing more than the necessary adjustments on them.”

[Link: Original Article]

There are claims Australia’s adoption agreement with other countries could collapse if New South Wales legalises gay adoption.

An upper house inquiry is looking at whether our current laws, which prevent same-sex couples from adopting children, needs to be overhauled.

DOCS legal services director Rod Best says the agency wouldn’t put the names of same-sex couples forward if the laws were changed.

“In terms of adoption of a child internationally, one of the criteria that you take into account are the wishes of the country that the child is being adopted from,” Mr Best said.

“Of all of the countries that New South Wales, and Australia, currently have arrangements with, none of them agree to same-sex couples adopting.”

[Link: Original Article]

Slowly but surely the stereotypes of gay life are dissolving around us and being replaced with the same modern issues confronted by everyone else.

Renovating the house, planning that special holiday, preparing for a new addition to the family. No, not a puppy or a cat but a child, or even several children.

These days we are faced more and more with members of the GLBT community settling down, living in suburbia and wanting to do as many other suburban couples do — raise a family. This is getting easier than it was — and more commonplace than you think. Gay dads are everywhere — you probably even know one or two.

Now as we all know, Love makes a family, but what makes a Dad? Any sperm donor can be a biological father but being a “dad” takes something more.

There are co-parent dads who share the day-to-day care and raising of their child(ren) with their child’s mum or mums, committed to working together to see their child become an adult.

Some are single men and others are couples, some of the mums are lesbian, others not. Some have gone for IVF and others just the good old turkey baster. It covers the full spectrum.

There are surrogate dads who have gone though thousands of dollars, lots of forms and tests and travelled to other parts of the world to have a woman bear their child (usually from an unknown egg donor), who are raising their children by themselves or with their partners, with the support of those around them.

Fostering is another way some gay men become dads, sometimes part-time, sometimes for a long time.

Hopefully soon in NSW we can add adoption as a couple to the list. It’s certainly permitted elsewhere and single men can currently adopt.

Of course there are also the same-sex attracted men who either are or were once married and who have had children “the old-fashioned way”. While they face challenges in coming out to the family and discovering and accepting their sexuality, they too are active dads who love and care for their children.

GayDadsNSW group is a social network and support group for gay men who are or want to become dads.

Not just sperm donors but dads, with all the dirty nappies, sleepless nights and unconditional love that comes with raising a child in a loving, supportive, safe environment.

The group meets for an informal dinner on the first Monday of the month at the Bank Hotel in Newtown.

We also regularly hold information nights where people can come and hear experiences, ask questions and learn more about being a dad.

If you would like to know more about gay dads in Australia you can go to www.gaydadsaustralia.com.

info:“LOVE makes a Family, but what makes a DAD?”
Date: Monday 23 February
Venue: Twenty10 offices, 43 Bedford St, Newtown
Time: 7pm
There will be a number of speakers on different aspects of parenting and time to ask questions.
Please RSVP to GaydadsNSW-owner@yahoogroups.com so we know how many people to expect.
For additional information please contact Anthony Brien on 0405 147 968 or at ajbrien@gmail.com

[Link: Original Article]

Stephen Page reports on the Australian Gay & Lesbian Law Blog:

The Queensland Government has introduced today the Adoption Bill into the Queensland Parliament, to replace the antiquated Adoption of Children Act 1964. The Minister responsible, Margaret Keech, said about the Bill:

* it was “delivering fair laws to those people affected by adoption”
* it reflected “contemporary community standards”
* “Eligibility to lodge expressions of interest to adopt will be extended from married couples to de facto couples who have been in a relationship for at least two years.”
* was “in line with the Bligh government’s vision for a fairer Queensland”
* by now requiring adoption orders to be made by a court, “provides for this and brings Queensland into line with every other Australian jurisdiction”.
* “The current objective is to identify the best possible prospective adoptive families to meet the needs of the small number of children who require adoptive parents.”
* “Finally, in line with the Bligh Government’s vision for a fairer Queensland,I am proud this Bill is a very progressive piece of new legislation which will bring Queensland’s adoption practice in line with international best practice.” (emphasis added)

The Bill will remove the discrimination that exists in the 1964 Act against heterosexual de facto couples, but not against same sex couples.

Just so that it is clear, the Bill is expressed to override the Anti-Discrimination Act. The only obvious reason for this is so that same sex couples can be discriminated against.
This approach is different to that in places such as Western Australia and the ACT where same sex couples can adopt.

For the full speech by the Minister, click here[PDF] .
For the Bill, click here.

[Link: Original Article]

Prepared for the Australian Psychological Society by Elizabeth Short, Damien W. Riggs, Amaryll Perlesz, Rhonda Brown & Graeme Kane

Overview

This review provides an overview and summary of the main bodies of research about parenting by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT)1 people, as well as relevant information about the wider family studies field within which this research is situated, and background information on the Australian context. This review will assist psychologists to provide effective and appropriate services to people in such families. The review will also assist psychologists in contributing, where appropriate, to public debates in relation to legal and public policy reform of the type that has occurred extensively over the last five years in Australia (for example, about which family relationships should be recognised in law, and who should be able to access fertility services or adopt children), and which can be expected to continue into the future. Given the importance of psychologists promoting accurate understandings of scientific research, a primary focus of this review is the role that psychological research can play in such debates, and the contribution of psychologists to promoting well-being for children, parents, families
and the general community.

As detailed in this review, the family studies literature indicates that it is family processes (such as the quality of parenting and relationships within the family) that contribute to determining children’s well-being and ‘outcomes’, rather than family structures, per se, such as the number, gender, sexuality and co-habitation status of parents. The research indicates that parenting practices and children’s outcomes in families parented by lesbian and gay parents are likely to be at least as favourable as those in families of heterosexual parents, despite the reality that considerable legal discrimination and inequity remain significant challenges for these families. The Australian Psychological Society (APS) is committed to contributing the knowledge of psychology in the public interest, and to fostering a social environment in which all children and their families experience support, recognition, and are valued, and in which discrimination and prejudice have no place.

[Link: Original Document]

The Australian Government passed wide-ranging reforms that recognise all couples, regardless of the sexual orientation gender of partners.

From 1 July 2009 changes to legislation will mean that customers who are in a same-sex de facto relationship will be recognised as partnered for Centrelink purposes. All customers who are assessed as being a member of a couple will have their rate of payment calculated in the same way.

Questions and answers:

* Who will be affected by these changes?
* When will the changes be implemented?
* What do I have to do?
* How could my payment change?
* What else should I know?
* More information
* Factsheets and publications
* Other government changes
* Can I be sure that my relationship status will remain private?
* Reviews and appeals
* Case studies
* Useful links

To find out more click here.

[Link: Source Document]

A proposal that seeks to align state and federal surrogacy laws has been released for public consultation and submissions.

The paper titled, A Proposal for a National Model to harmonise regulation of Surrogacy was released by the National Standing Committee of Attorney Generals (SCAG) and the ministerial councils for Community Services and Health. GLBT activists have welcomed the move.

Corey Irlam, spokesperson for the Australian Coalition for Equality told MCV:

“We are cautiously optimistic that this provides an opportunity for the states to become equal and to update their laws to access surrogacy.

“Surrogacy is a state-based issue and the federal government has said they will acknowledge any state based surrogacy laws,” Irlam said.

The paper makes several recommendations that would benefit same-sex and heterosexual couples.

If the recommendations were successful, both partners in a gay male couple would be recognised as parents of the child.

Currently in Victoria, the non-biological partner in a gay couple is not seen as a legal parent.

“Without the ability for the non-biological parent to adopt as a second parent, gay men who are entering into a surrogacy arrangement will be unable to both be seen as the legal parents of the child,” Irlam said.

“The Victorian Law Reform Commission recommended that adoption would be addressed and the government have not acted upon this.”

Currently, the non-biological parent in a gay male couple has to apply for a parenting order from the Family Court to have any legal parenting rights.

Co-moderator of Gay Dads Australia Rodney Cruise told MCV parenting orders give non-biological fathers most of the rights as a parent.

“He can apply for a passport for the child, enrol the child in school and make medical decisions. It’s still not a full parent situation, but it’s the closest thing we have in Victoria.”

Cruise said lesbian couples have long been accessing parenting orders and gay men are following in their footsteps.

“Gay dads are exercising the same process and have had success, there has been no problems getting them.”

However, Cruise warned that obtaining a parenting order is an expensive course of action.

“It involves lawyers and that can be a costly process, whereas the Holy Grail for gay dads is what’s called second parent adoption, which would allow the non-biological father to adopt their partner’s biological child and become a full parent.

“With second parent adoption you are a parent for life, unlike a parenting order which only lasts till the child is 18. So this impacts on inheritance and other issues too.”

In December 2008 the Assisted Reproductive Treatment (ART) Bill narrowly passed. Part of the legislative reform will secure the non-biological parent in a lesbian couple to now be recognised as a legal parent.

“There was a recognition that we had to get lesbian families over the line first,” Cruise said.

“Without that parliament would not have considered two men as parents.

“The next logical step is for the community and government to get their head around gay males.”

Federal Attorney-General Robert McClellend said the laws should make it easier for surrogacy couples.

“The differing laws on this complex and sensitive issue often force prospective parents to enter another Australian state or territory to have surrogate children.” McClellend said.

[Link: Original Article]

I joined Gay Dads NSW a week or so ago and have found another land of similarity to feel like home in.

What piqued my interest from their website was a survey asking 421 men their background interest in joining the group. The top three responses were: 31 percent have children from a previous relationship (that’s me), 35 percent were interested in exploring their options in being parents and 11 percent were surrogates.

So I sent the group an email introducing myself and received a few responses from men in the same boat. Just to see the words in front of me to made me feel included and part of a group. I even found a response from another dad in the same company I work in.

There are social nights to attend, afternoons in children’s parks, zoo trips and I’m sure the odd bbq. Meeting people with young children like my two mini men will be a long sought-after dream.

Sometimes you forget how tough it is without comparing notes with someone — someone in the same size shoe.

My Troppo playmate has children, three of them, all grown up. Comparing notes sometimes is difficult because of the age gap. Fact is, I’m nearly closer to his daughter’s age than to his.

Last weekend, we took his youngest son and his girlfriend out for dinner in Newtown. We clasped fingers as we strolled down King St and noticed some shiny rings in a shop window. We skipped in and minced around for nearly half an hour trying on the most ridiculous rings.

I don’t know how the kids felt watching dad and his mate trying gawdy rings on, but it was so funny and in the end, they joined in too.

I looked up ‘dad’ in the little Oxford Dictionary I have on my desk and it led me to ‘father’ and then to ‘parent’. In the circle of words it allows for born offspring and otherwise, adopted, surrogates et al.

In my book, a dad is a man who is blessed and tasked with a precious person to raise, love, guide and every now and then embarrass by trying on costume jewellery after dinner.
[Link: Original Article]

LAWYERS and doctors involved in India’s giant fertility industry have warned couples hoping to pursue surrogacy in India that the process is risky because there is no comprehensive law covering the practice.

While surrogacy is legal in India, it is regulated only by guidelines issued by the Indian Council of Medical Research, and many industry participants say these guidelines have been left behind by the rapidly expanding surrogacy industry.

The Age reported on Saturday that about 30 Australian couples were pursuing surrogacy in India. A new Indian surrogacy law is being drafted but those involved say it may not be passed for some time.

Priya Hingorani, a prominent Delhi lawyer who is part of a ministerial committee reviewing the proposed laws, says the absence of a law means couples wanting to use surrogates in India might be vulnerable.

“They are taking a risk because some of the documents that they sign ensuring that the mother will hand over the child might not be deemed legal by the courts,” Ms Hingorani said. “They need to be very careful.”

She cites the case of a Canadian couple who paid for an Indian surrogate but the mother refused to give up the child after the birth. The case is now before a Delhi court.

Anand Kumar, who runs a fertility clinic and is a member of the expert committee drafting the new law, said tighter regulations were urgently needed.

“It’s a bit of a free-for-all at the moment and everyone seems to be doing what they wish,” Dr Kumar said.

“There is a possibility of new technologies being misused and there is cause for concern.” He could not say when the proposed law would be passed.

Many women’s groups in India have expressed concern about the surrogacy system, saying it leaves mothers and babies vulnerable to exploitation.

Ms Hingorani said it was possible the new law could introduce restrictions that might affect foreigners hoping to use surrogate mothers in India.

“I think it is going to be more difficult (after the law is passed),” she said.

India’s booming surrogacy industry is estimated to be worth more than $500 million a year.

According to the National Commission for Women, there are about 3000 clinics offering surrogacy services across India.

There were cases where surrogate mothers received as little as 25,000 rupees ($A780), the commission said.

Some of the potential complications associated with international surrogacy were highlighted last year by the case of Baby Manji, a child born to an Indian surrogate mother hired by a Japanese couple.

The couple divorced during the pregnancy and a subsequent legal wrangle left the baby in limbo for more than a month. An Indian court eventually granted custody to the child’s 74-year-old grandmother.

In Australia, the Standing Committee of Attorneys-General is reviewing surrogacy regulations, including the issue of Australian couples pursuing surrogacy in developing countries such as India.

[Link: Original Article]

What is shown time and time again is that in the surrogacy debate the law is way behind what is happening in people’s lives.

Fairfax reports that a gay Queensland couple applied to the Federal government for benefits, including presumably the baby bonus. The only problem was that their child was born via a surrogate in New Zealand. Because the father is receiving Centrelink, and can identify the mother, the Child Support Agency has written to her demanding that she pay child support. The birth mother is still liable to pay, because while surrogacy is not illegal in New Zealand, unlike Queensland, there has not been an adoption.

This case is yet another example of the need for people to get good legal advice before seeking surrogacy arrangements, or IVF arrangements that are not through a clinic.

It would also appear that the gay couple, who presumably are usually Queensland residents, have committed offences in Queensland under the Surrogate Parenthood Act 1988. This is because they entered into a surrogacy arrangement. Where that arrangement happened is irrelevant in the eyes of Queensland law.

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The Australian Government is demanding a Kiwi surrogate mother pay child support for the baby girl she had for a gay couple in Queensland, reports the Sydney Morning Herald.

Child support: NZ surrogates may be forced to pay Aussie child support

The one-year-old is being raised by her legal guardians – her biological father and his male partner. They gained child support benefits for the father to stay at home and care for her, but the authorities asked the surrogate to contribute, which she refused to do.

The case highlights legal difficulties around surrogacy, which is outlawed in Queensland and some other parts of Australia, but allowed in New Zealand.

Family law expert Professor Mark Henaghan at Otago University confirms that surrogates can be forced to pay Australian child support if their babies were not legally adopted and the intended parents claimed benefits.

“It’s a blanket rule. The circumstances are irrelevant. If you are a parent, unless someone adopts a child, you are the legal parent,” he explains.

Gay male couples are unable to adopt in New Zealand and in most of Australia, which means the surrogate mother’s name remains on birth certificates, preventing them from signing away legal rights to the child.

Meanwhile, the Sunday Star-Times has spoken to another Kiwi woman who will soon give birth to a child for a gay male Australian couple.

The 35-year-old Aucklander admitted she’d had some negative remarks from people, but is happy with her choice: “My father’s a bit reluctant I’m having a baby for a gay couple. I didn’t choose a gay couple, but I had to find the right couple and they were the ones for me.”

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