Gay Dads Australia

BRITAIN has forged landmark new rights for homosexual partners seeking legal recognition as parents.

The House of Commons unexpectedly threw out proposals that would have required fertility clinics to consider a child’s “need for a father” before providing treatment, enabling two-mother families.

The father’s role will now be substituted to require the “need for supportive parenting”. Both partners will be recognised as parents on birth certificates when lesbian couples conceive with donated sperm or gay men use surrogacy to have a child.

At present, as occurs in Australia, only the natural mother or father is automatically considered to be a parent when homosexual couples have fertility treatment.

The changes will be made to the controversial Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill, which governs stem cell research as well as fertility treatments and abortion in Britain.

Proposed “pro-family” amendments, including a Conservative bid to lower the abortion limit from 24 weeks to 22 weeks, were defeated by a large margin, surprising the Labour Government, which had been prepared, publicly and privately, for a major defeat.

The attempt to ensure the legal need for a father in fertility treatment was rejected by 292 votes to 217, a majority of 75.

The conscience vote on homosexual partners has been hailed as the most important widening of homosexual rights to family since gays were allowed to adopt children.

Fertility clinics will now be banned from refusing lesbian or single women treatment if they cannot provide a male paternal model. This reason has often been used by clinics who refuse treatment to lesbian or single women.

Cardinal Cormac Murphy O’Connor, the leader of the Catholic Church in England and Wales, said it was “wrong to pass a law” where biological parenthood was not recognised, “because clearly there must be a father for a child”.

Former Tory leader Iain Duncan Smith, who led opposition to the plans, told MPs: “On the whole, the absence of fathers generally has a detrimental effect on the child.”

Supporters of the new law argued that existing laws discriminated against gay couples.

Health Minister Dawn Primarolo described the changes as fair and said they were drafted to recognise the complexities of modern British life. “What counts is the quality of parenting,” she said.

The vote is a further fillip for Labour, which had a major win on stem cell research on Monday when Britain became the first Western nation to allow the mixing of human and animal cells in stem cell research as well as the creation of so-called “saviour siblings” who can be screened for life-saving tissue donations for sick family members.

The Victorian Government announced in December last year that a similar law to the latest British changes was part of a reform to in vitro fertilisation and surrogacy. The new law will recognise the female partner of a mother who conceives a child using IVF, as a legal parent of that child. Legislation is being drafted and due to be ready in a few months.

With TELEGRAPH, NICK MILLER

[Link: Original Article]

A CONTROVERSIAL new bill that will remove the word “father” from birth certificates to recognise lesbian couples who have children through IVF will be put before NSW Parliament.

Fifty laws across NSW covering the Local Government Act, Industrial Relations Act and the constitution will be amended to include new parental presumption protection for female same-sex couples.

The bill equates the position of a lesbian partner of a woman who has a child after becoming pregnant by a fertilisation procedure, other than sexual intercourse, with the position of a married woman’s husband. Lesbian parents will see expressions such as “birth mother” replace “mother” and “both parents” to replace “the father and the mother” on birth certificates.

Lesbian parents will also be given protection for their children under workers’ compensation, inheritance law and parent-teacher nights at school. Schools will also be forced to recognise both partners in a lesbian couple as “parents”.

However, a number of NSW Coalition MPs have deep moral concerns about the bill. On Tuesday the Coalition voted to give members a conscience vote on the issue. Shadow Attorney-General Greg Smith said some MPs were concerned that the role of fatherhood was undermined by the bill, which is expected to be debated this parliamentary session. It is understood Mr Smith proposed the conscience vote.

Minister for Women Verity Firth said the Opposition’s decision to hold a conscience vote on laws to give equal rights to the children of same-sex couples was evidence of the Opposition’s lack of leadership.

The conservative Australian Family Association is campaigning against the change.

Gay & Lesbian Rights Lobby spokeswoman Emily Gray said the changes would give children added emotional and financial stability.

[Link: Original Article]

Anna Whitelaw looks at the issue of parental rights for lesbian couples.

Last year, the State Government agreed to throw out its outdated laws governing assisted reproductive technology and surrogacy. Simultaneously, it moved to rectify the uncertain legal position of lesbian parents: specifically, the status of the non-birth mother.

The decision has brought peace of mind to lesbian couples like Jeanine, 38, a marketing executive, and her partner of ten years, Lisa, 39, who works in the police force.

Lisa and Jeanine have two children, boisterous four-year-old son Liam and five-month-old daughter Meg, both conceived by IVF. Under existing Victorian law, Lisa is not legally recognised as the parent of either of the children, because she is not their biological mother. Her name does not appear anywhere on her children’s birth certificates, and she has no legal authority to give consent to emergency medical procedures, or to enrol her son into childcare or school. If she were to die suddenly, her children would not necessarily be entitled to inherit her superannuation, her estate, or compensation payments.

If Jeanine and Lisa were to separate, she could lose custody of the children; or alternatively, avoid paying child support. By contrast, if she were a man, she would be automatically treated as the father of the two children.

“You start to think more about your own mortality once you have children,” says Jeanine. “After I had Liam, I began to think, ‘If something happened to me, if I was in a car accident, and in a coma, or dead what would happen to him?’ Lisa would have to face all these questions about who she was.”

“Not to mention [that] having to explain yourself everywhere you go gets a little tedious,” Lisa adds, as when she started picking up Liam from childcare while Jeanine was at work. “I had to sign something, and I was asked, ‘Are you the nanny?’”

If a lesbian couple use the sperm of a known donor, such as a male friend, the donor is legally considered to be the father. In at least once instance in Australia, Family Courts have been willing to grant the sperm donor the custody rights. Jeanine and Lisa purposefully used an anonymous donor because they were afraid of the consequences.

“We both have brothers, so we didn’t feel we needed an additional male influence in our kids’ lives,” explains Jeanine. “We didn’t want to complicate the situation, and the legal uncertainty made us nervous.”

To date, the only protection offered to non-biological mothers is a parenting order issued by the Family Court granting limited parental rights. But parenting orders are not automatic, so a couple must petition the Court, and pay hefty legal costs; an addition financial burden for same-sex couples. In the case of Jeanine and Lisa, parenting orders for Liam cost $4000, and they’re in the process of getting parenting orders for Meg, which will cost another $2500.

Moreover, parenting orders are not the same as being a legal parent, as they only apply in limited circumstances, they can be contested, and they expire when the child turns 18.

“There are many legal boundaries to the non-biological parent in rainbow families being recognized as a legal parent, so children living in rainbow families aren’t given the same protection as heterosexually-parented children,” explains Rainbow Families Council spokesperson Felicity Marlowe.

Under Victoria’s proposed law reforms, lesbian couples will be given the same parental rights as heterosexual couples, recognizing both women as parents from the moment of conception, irrespective of who gives birth to the child. It will also clarify that sperm and egg donors are not parents.

For Jeanine, Lisa and their children, it’s recognition which is long overdue.

“It is a concern for Lisa,” Jeanine says, “It irks her that she isn’t on the birth certificate, and there’s a big gaping hole where the father’s name should be. This will give us formal recognition that [Lisa] is part of the family.”

A spokesperson for the Attorney General’s office, Meaghan Shaw, confirmed that the proposed law reforms are currently being drafted, and are expected to be introduced to state Parliament in the middle of the year.

While the legislation is expected to pass both Houses with the backing of the Greens, the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby’s Demetra Giannakopoulos warns that the reforms will face opposition from the conservative Christian right.

“The whole gay and lesbian community needs to get behind these reforms, because that opposition is only going to get louder,” Giannakopoulos told MCV.

While the reforms are clearly important for lesbian couples who have or who are planning to have children, the social changes such law reforms represent have ramifications for us all, Giannakopoulos believes. As she sees it: “Every time a wall of discrimination comes down, it brings us closer to full equality.”

[Link: Original Article]

IT’S hard to disagree with any government’s decision to provide greater protections to children – whether they have heterosexual or same-sex parents.

As Attorney-General John Hatzistergos said yesterday when announcing parenting rights would be extended to lesbians, the protection of children is one of the cornerstones of our society.

A new law will give equal rights to children who live in families where mothers are in same-sex de facto relationships – covering areas such as workers’ compensation, inheritance and school.

The legislation won’t cover same-sex adoption or surrogacy, but the Government is sending a clear message to the community.

After the battles on racist behaviour and the Aboriginal sorry campaign, gay rights is emerging as the next big front for the social engineers.

For some time an almost subterranean push by the gay and lesbian lobby – assisted by government quietly in the background – has been aimed at promoting the rights of same-sex couples.

But the powers have been coy about bringing this campaign into the open, ventilating the issues to the wider public and exposing the arguments to scrutiny.

Last week Education Director-General Michael Coutts-Trotter and Parents and Citizens Federation president Di Giblin were high-profile speakers at a Government-backed conference on sexual diversity, That’s So Gay.

Yet few people outside the event, which was organised by the AIDS Council of NSW, knew it was on and the agenda was not promoted to mainstream media outlets.

Mr Coutts-Trotter, who opened the conference and spoke passionately about the need to combat homophobia in schools, later downplayed his role to The Daily Telegraph. Yet the department already has a plethora of programs imbedded in the curriculum from Year 7 onwards all aimed at stamping out homophobic behaviour.

It was strongly suggested at the homophobia conference that children with two mothers face a tough time from bullying and harassment in the playground.

If this is correct then surely it is in the public interest that the wider community is properly and fully informed so that measures to stop this behaviour can be embraced.

[Link: Original Article]

Jenni Millbank is a Barrister and Professor of Law at the University of Technology, Sydney. Jenni has an extensive background in family law and same-sex relationship recognition.

This is an extract of the advice provided on the GLRL website (www.glrl.org.au)

Please note that this column is information of a general nature only and does not constitute legal advice.
*NEW* Questions Answered this Month:

* Both I and my same-sex partner want to migrate from our home country to Australia. Can we do this together as a couple under the skilled migration program?
* The federal government lacks the constitutional power to introduce civil unions (as the power it is granted in the constitution is over “marriage”, “divorce” and “matrimonial causes”). What are some options available to get around this problem?
* Are fertility clinics in NSW and Qld prohibited from providing access to lesbians?
* Is it possible to become a parent through surrogacy in Australia? What is the law with regards to payment to the surrogate mother by the donors?
* What is the age of consent in NSW?

Previously Answered Questions:

Adoption, Surrogacy and Parenting

* Are agreements between donors and mothers binding?
* What is the legal position of known and anonymous donors?
* Is second parent adoption possible in Australia, ie can a lesbian co-mother adopt children born to her partner?
* Would marriage give the right to adopt? Or would civil unions or de facto status do so?
* What is the legal standing of surrogacy in Australia for gay men wanting to be fathers?

Civil Unions and Marriage

* What federal rights available to married and de facto couples are not available to couples under a state-based civil union?
* Do married couples have more rights than de facto couples at federal level?
* Some people are against marriage because historically marriage treated women as property. Are women disadvantaged in any way in modern day marriage?
* What is the difference between relationship registration and civil unions?
* If I register my relationship in Tasmania or have a civil union in the ACT, will that be recognised in federal law – eg for immigration purposes will I be treated as married rather than as interdependent?

De Facto Relationships

* What relationship rights do I have at the moment?
* How is de facto recognition different from marriage or civil unions?
* I read that the De Facto Relationships Act applies 11 tests to determine the legal validity of a de facto relationship, and that typically gay men can only satisfy 4 of these 11 criteria. Is this so?
* How do I prove I am in a de facto relationship?
* Would federal recognition of same-sex couples as de facto relationships take away any of our current rights at state level?
* Would de facto recognition at federal level allow a government that did not like same-sex relationships to ban same-sex relationship recognition, like the marriage ban?

Protecting your Relationship Rights

* What rights do straight couples have that I don’t have?
* What can I do to get legal rights and protection for my relationship now?
* What is a “domestic relationship agreement”?
* How can I enter into a domestic relationship agreement and how much will it cost?

Sex

* What is the age of consent in NSW?

Superannuation

* How do I prove my relationship for superannuation

To find out the answer to these questions and more, visit the GLRL website at www.glrl.org.au or click here.

The New South Wales Government is moving to give children of same-sex female couples the same rights as those born to heterosexual parents.

Attorney-General John Hatzistergos says legislation will be introduced to cover children conceived by artificial fertilisation.

He says the current laws do not recognise the relationship a child might have with the female partner of their birth mother.

“So that they are unable for example to take on inheritance, they are unable to access benefits of compensation which may be due to them otherwise following a death or following an injury,” he said.

“Also those children would be unable to exercise responsibilities that children would normally have in relation to parents.”

But Mr Hatzistergos says the new laws will not cover children with gay male parents.

“That raises complex issues, particularly in relation to issues of adoption and the extinguishing of the rights of the existing birth mother and also issues relating to surrogacy,” he said.

“It’s not appropriate for us to move in that direction before that national discussion is able to proceed and is able to resolve issues as far as possible.”

[Link: Original Article]

Children born through in-vitro fertilisation (IVF) to lesbian mothers will have the same rights as those of heterosexual couples, under law changes announced by the NSW government.

Attorney-General John Hatzistergos said he had accepted NSW Law Reform recommendations extending “parental presumption” provisions to cover gay mums.

It was estimated 20 per cent of the state’s female same-sex couples had children, Mr Hatzistergos said.

The change affects those born through IVF or artificial fertilisation only, by granting parenting rights and obligations to the non-biological mother.

“The current law discriminates against these children who, at the moment, have a relationship with the birth mother’s partner that is not recognised by law,” Mr Hatzistergos told reporters on Tuesday.

“They are unable to take on inheritance, or the benefits of compensation which may be due … following a death or injury.”

The changes to the Status of Children Act 1996 will also allow these children to have both of their parents recognised by school authorities.

Both women in the same-sex couple must be in a relationship at the time of conception for the provision to apply.

On top of the new parenting laws, Mr Hatzistergos said the government would also amend about 50 state acts to remove discrimination against same-sex couples in NSW.

In some instances, he said, this would impose new requirements on same-sex couples to disclose a potential conflict of interest.

“The government will also be amending the anti-discrimination act to prohibit discrimination on the basis of a person’s domestic status,” Mr Hatzistergos said.

“In other words, the fact they have to reveal the existence of that relationship … shouldn’t be a ground on which they can be discriminated against.”

Mr Hatzistergos said the changes would not go as far as moves in Tasmania, and soon-to-be implemented changes in Victoria, where same-sex couples could add their name to a register.

“We want to see how this pans out nationally,” he said.

“Our preference is that these issues be resolved at a national level so there is consistency and uniformity across the jurisdictions.”

The law changes will be introduced to the NSW parliament later this year.

[Link: Original Article]

[Link: Alternative Article]

Two of the participants at this weekend’s 2020 summit will represent gays and lesbians at the Communities and Families forum.

The Labor Government has pledged to remove 58 laws that discriminate against same-sex couples in tax, superannuation and family rights among other things.

But gay and lesbian groups say they’re alarmed by reports that the Government will not include these reforms in the May Budget.

Among the 1,000 participants heading to Canberra this weekend is Shelly Argent, the national spokeswoman for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.

She says a future Australia must include legal recognition of same sex couples.

“My issue is that I have two sons, one’s straight and one’s gay, they both contribute equally to society and yet the government and society is very quick to say that one is better than the other,” she said.

“Now I just totally disagree with that. I want my son to be seen equal in the eyes of the law and society.”

The Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission has identified 58 laws that discriminate against gays and lesbians covering tax, superannuation, health, workplace benefits and family law.

“I mean having same-sex parents being recognised with their children,” Ms Argent says.

“At the moment only the biological mother is recognised and the non-biological mother or other parent has absolutely no rights whatsoever.

“That non-biological parent cannot legally take that child to the doctor and be given information, or cannot take the child to school or necessarily pick the child up from school, and especially if the child is sick, because that person has no legal right over the child.”

Labor has promised to scrap these laws and has uncovered 40 extra pieces of legislation that also discriminate.

Human Rights Commissioner Graeme Innes says the Government simply needs to alter the definition of de-facto to include same-sex couples.

And he doesn’t think the issue of law reform needs to be on the 2020 agenda.

“Because it’s a commitment the Government has made, it just needs to be on the Budget agenda, so that all Australian couples no matter what their sexual orientation, are treated in the same way,” he said.

“Same-sex couples aren’t looking for any extra benefit, they’re just looking for equality, and there will be positives and negatives if all of these laws are amended.

“There’ll be some laws where there’s actually savings in the budget as well as some laws where there’s extra costs.”

But there have been reports the Government may wait until next year to introduce the changes.

Greens leader Bob Brown says the Government still hasn’t committed set a date for the reforms.

“Every day is a delay. What we haven’t heard from the Rudd Government is any scheduling at all, any agenda, any timetable for ending the discrimination which the Howard Government left on the books,” he said.

“It is time that the Labor Government at least followed up on its policy, which is to get rid of discrimination in areas of importance like matters of superannuation,” he said.

A spokesman for Attorney-General Robert McClelland says the Government won’t comment on what is in the Budget.

But he says the Government is committed to removing this discrimination and is consulting about the best time to implement the changes.

Rodney Croome from Australian Coalition for Equality says for many people, time is running out.

“At the moment there is no recognition of same-sex partners in federal superannuation schemes,” he said.

“There are partners who are facing retirement or who are elderly for whom this issue is really urgent. They can’t wait any longer for this reform.

“They need to be sure that their partners will be financially secure during retirement or if they themselves die before their partner.”

[Link: Original Article]

There’s no reason for New South Wales to be dragging the chain in same-sex parenting rights, writes Jenni Millbank.family-250.jpg

The majority of same-sex families in Australia are formed by lesbian couples having children through assisted conception.

In some families this is with anonymous sperm, while in others it is with the help of a known donor or biological father who is often a gay man.

Men in these arrangements occupy a wide variety of roles, from a ‘donor’ with little or no contact with the child, to an on-going relationship that is friendly and may or may not involve him being called ‘Dad’.

Children in all of these families have two mothers but have the protection and security of a legal relationship with only one parent: the birth mother. These children may also be deprived of a legal relationship with their sister or brother. Even if they have the same biological father but are each born to a different mother in the couple, NSW will not record the children as siblings.

A very simple way to solve this situation is to open up the existing presumption of parental status for heterosexual couples and apply it to lesbian couples.

A man who consents to his female partner conceiving through donor insemination or IVF is the legal father of the child regardless of his lack of genetic connection to the child. This presumption, in existence for more than 30 years in Australian law, renders social fathers the legal fathers of children whom they intended to raise.

A sperm donor, whether known or anonymous is (like an egg donor) not a legal parent.

This rule recognises the importance of children having a legally protected relationship with both of the parents who actually live with and care for them, regardless of genetic connection.

Such parents can then make important medical decisions for their children, can travel with them overseas, and can pass on property to them in the absence of a will. Legal recognition also ensures that both parents are equally placed if they later separate and have a dispute.

The biological connection of one parent in these situations should not be used as a weapon to exclude the other.

Providing automatic recognition to the second female parent in lesbian families should not be seen as something that competes with, or detracts from, the rights of a known donor/biological father.

Firstly, known donors are not legal fathers in Australia, so they do not lose any rights by co-mothers gaining parental status.

Secondly, in the vast majority of families, children live with their mothers and some have a contact relationship with their biological father, which does not necessarily require full parental status.

Furthermore, if biological fathers have, or wish to have, relationships with children, the Family Court has attached great importance to both the social relationship and their biological connection with the child, regardless of the lack of legal parental status.

Legal recognition of lesbian co-mothers is not about devaluing the role of involved gay fathers; rather it is about providing a clear legal support for the primary caregiving unit.

In 2002 Western Australia was the first Australian state to extend a presumption of parentage to lesbian partners, followed by the Northern Territory in 2003 and the ACT in 2004. This parental status will be extended to both female parents in Victorian law later in 2008.

Equivalent reforms have also been in place in South Africa since 2003, New Zealand since 2004 and were introduced in most Canadian provinces from 2002-2006.

The Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission recommended similar provisions for all federal law in their report into same-sex families last year.

Yet last week the NSW Attorney-General John Hatzistergos announced that NSW will not follow the lead of WA, the ACT, NT and Victoria, and will instead continue to prevent children in lesbian families from having the protection and care of two legal parents.

This stubborn resistance to the tide of change is lamentable: NSW was the first to introduce same-sex couple rights in 1999, don’t let us be the last to pass parenting rights.

Jenni Millbank is a Professor of Law at the University of Technology, Sydney.

[Link: Original Article]

Same-sex families in NSW are at a significant disadvantage compared to those in other states because without a parenting order, a co-parent has no legal rights.

Professor Jenni Millbank from the Faculty of Law at the University of Technology said that unlike Western Australia, the ACT and Northern Territory, donors and co-parents in NSW are not automatically granted co-parenting status.

The lack of such provisions means that same-sex families in NSW do not share the same legal protection as those in other states in areas such as health, finance and inheritance.

“It’s a whole range of laws both in NSW and federally,” Millbank told SX. “For example, if a co-mother died or was injured, then her children wouldn’t automatically receive inheritance from her. The child wouldn’t be entitled to work or accident compensation. Likewise if the mothers break up, the birth mother isn’t able to use the Child Support Act to seek financial support from the co-mother.”

Millbank said that, in the event of a break-up, while a co-parent could still gain rights by proving their involvement with the child, “it’s a very uneven playing field in the sense that the co-mother has a much higher threshold to meet in terms of proving that her relationship with the child is beneficial for them. Whereas for a legal parent, that would be the starting point, because of course it would be beneficial for them to spend time with her.”

Last week, the NSW Attorney-General John Hatzitergos announced that the Iemma Government will not update its legislation, despite signs that the Victorian government will seek reform. It’s a move Millbank described as “sheer gutlessness”.

“It’s an area where there’s a clear and pressing need for recognition where there’s no advantage in any respects to say that one group of children should only have one legal parent while another has two. It doesn’t do anyone any good,” Millbank said. “It’s not like we’re waiting for some results to come in. We have a clearly defined problem and a clear and obvious solution. It’s just sheer gutlessness.”

[Link: Original Article]

Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson confirmed the Liberal Party’s stance on GLBT rights in a speech to the National Press Club recently.

“We believe … in relation to people, that families are the foundation of Australian society,” Nelson said.

“I make no apology for saying that a man and a woman is a marriage and that forms a family. I don’t support gay marriage, I don’t support gay adoption and I don’t support gay IVF.

“But I sure as hell believe very strongly that no Australian should pay a dollar more in tax or receive a dollar less in social security by virtue of his or her sexuality.”

[Link: Original Article]

Meet Qona, the nine-year-old girl at the heart of an extraordinary tale of modern-day parenting.

Her birth mother lives in Sydney with her girlfriend. Her other mother, the woman she calls “mum” – the ex-girlfriend of her birth mother – raised her in New Zealand on her own.

But it’s her gay dad who will soon take responsibility for raising her.

Qona’s remarkable “rainbow” family is one of a growing trend of gay and lesbian people redefining parenthood. “We call ourselves a family,” said Qona’s dad, Mark Harrigan, a hairdresser from Newtown.

Jill Christie, her non-birth mother, agreed: “To her, this is normal – she knows her dad is gay and her mothers are lesbians.

“She knows she wasn’t created through sex – instead we tell her she was born scientifically – and she’s proud of it.”

Qona Venus Harrigan Christie was conceived in Sydney through home insemination using Mr Harrigan’s sperm. Ms Christie said she and Qona’s birth mother, Sarah (not her real name), chose Mr Harrigan because he wanted to play a hands-on role in his child’s life.

“I think if a kid has the chance to know both their mum and dad why deny them that?” she said.

“Otherwise they’ll spend the rest of their lives wondering about that unknown parent.”

Three weeks after Qona’s birth at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, Ms Christie obtained a parenting order from the Family Court which granted her extensive rights as co-mother.

Qona, a Solomon Islands name meaning peaceful dove, was named after Ms Christie’s mother. Qona was also given Ms Christie’s surname.

Mr Harrigan said his daughter’s birth was the fulfilment of a lifelong dream. After Sarah gave birth, Mr Harrigan was the first person to hold the newborn. A year later – dressed in drag as “Margaret” – he held a sleeping Qona in his arms on top of the lead float in the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras.

“I always knew I was going to be a father – the difficulty lay in how that would happen,” he said.

“Now I can’t believe I produced something so beautiful.”

Qona’s early years were full of change. Mr Harrigan had her every third week from the age of three months till she was 4½ years, when Sarah and Ms Christie moved back to their native New Zealand.

But just a year later the lesbian couple split and Sarah returned to Sydney, leaving Ms Christie to cope as a single mother in Wellington, a conservative town with a small gay community. Suddenly alone, she had to give up her high-powered career in health administration.

“It’s cost me a lot – my career, my relationships and financially,” Ms Christie said.

Now 55, she has decided Mr Harrigan, 39, is more able to guide Qona through her adolescent years.

As a sperm donor, Mr Harrigan has no legal rights involving major decision-making about Qona’s education, living arrangements or health. He has no liabilities either, such as child-support payments.

Last month the three parents held their first “parenting conference” and decided Qona will move back to Sydney. Ms Christie may also move in with dad and daughter, and even Sarah may play more of a role.

“With so many divorces and re-marriages it’s not that extraordinary to have three parents anyway and our sexuality has nothing to do with our parenting,” Mr Harrigan said.

Despite the unconventional nature of her upbringing, Qona, Ms Christie and Mr Harrigan said, is a stoic, self-assured little girl who is proud of her mums and dad.

“When I visit she drags me round the playground telling everyone I’m her dad,” Mr Harrigan said.

A 2006 US study found that the adolescent offspring of same-sex parents did not differ from the children of heterosexual parents in self-esteem, peer relationships, school adjustment, drug use or sexual experience. In fact, teenagers of same-sex parents coped better with prejudice and bullying.

The other important adult in Qona’s life is Mr Harrigan’s partner, John Cobban.

Mr Cobban said in the past he’s refused requests to be a sperm donor, believing a child “should have a male and female input into its life”.

Being part of Mr Harrigan’s world has changed his view.

“Meeting this unique family has opened my eyes and changed my thoughts on gay parenting,” he said.

Rodney Cruise, from Gay Dads Australia, said while lesbians had been raising children for decades, gay men actively seeking fatherhood was a relatively new trend. He said gay men usually teamed up with a lesbian couple, single lesbian or single heterosexual woman. Increasingly, though, they are using a surrogate in overseas countries and raising the child with their same-sex partner.

“Gay and lesbian people will have children and you can’t stop them,” he said. “What makes a family is love and that’s what people care about – that the kids are loved, happy and well looked after.”

Mr Cruise and his partner, Jeff Chaing-Cruise, have a son Ethan, 15 months, who was born by surrogacy in the US.

He also has a child to a lesbian couple but he doesn’t have a daily role in her upbringing. He said there is growing acceptance of same-sex couples in the wider community.

Qona is an outgoing, sporty child who has represented her school in athletics, swimming and cross-country. Ms Christie said she was hitting the age where “sex is on the agenda” and her parents would continue to be open about their sexuality.

Research shows children raised by same-sex parents are no more likely to identify as gay or lesbian in adulthood than children raised by heterosexual parents.

Ms Christie believes Qona will probably experiment with boys and girls as she grows up, but “she has a much chance as being gay as any other child”.

[Link: SMH Article]
[Link: The Age Article]
[Link: Brisbane Times]

Rowena Allen and Kaye Bradshaw siad the birth of their daughter Alexandra hammered home the inequality gay and lesbian couples face. Victorian Government MPs are expect to pass a new Bill that will create a relationships register for gay and lsbian couples to officially recognise them as partners.

Part of the new legislation would enable a same sex partner to discuss medical treatment with doctors, something Ms Bradshaw was legally unable to do when Ms Allen underwent an emergency caesarean.

“At this point we have no rights”, Ms Allen said.

“Kaye is not formally recognised as here (Alexandra’s) parent.” The couple were forced to undergo home insemination to conceive Alexandra with access to IVF services only permitted for medical reasons.

“Women are denied access to IVF if the are scoially infertile, i.e. if they don’t want to have sex with a man”, Ms Bradshaw said.

Ms Bradshaw and Ms Allen said though it needed an “accelerator”, there were confident society was steadily progressing and gay couples would on day be recognised as equal to heterosexual couples.

“We hope that by the time Alexandra’s at school we will be formally married, ” Ms Allen said.

Lesbian Mums Welcome Little Bundle of Joy with Open Arms

Violet town couple Rowena Allen and Kaye Bradshaw joke their baby daughter Alexandra will probably one day nervously come to them to say she likes boys.

“Statistically, the odds are she will be heterosexual,” Ms Allen said yesterday.

“But we’ll still love her anyway,” Ms Bradshaw finished.

The Lesbian couple’s leap-day baby is a special bundle of joy for more than just her February 29 birth date.

While gay families such as theirs are increasingly common and readily accepted in urban settings, in more conservative country settings the concept remains relatively rare.

“We knew we were going to be trailblazers,” Ms Allen, who gave birth to ALexandra, said.

“We thought about doing it in Melbourne but we really wanted to have here in our community.”

Alexandra was born at Goulburn valley Base Hospital, capping off what Ms Allen jokingly described as “a bizarre rainbow family”.

Ms Bradshaw has two sons, aged 19 and 20, while Alexandra’s father – the couple’s gay Melbourne friend Ian Seal – also has two sons of similar ages, all of whom have been thrilled by the latest addition to their families.

“They have all said she will be very well protected if anything should happen when she gets to school,” Ms Bradshaw said.

Ms Bradshaw, 46, and Ms Allen, 35, also agreed Mr Seal would continue to play a pivotal role in his daughter’s life and would always be “dad” to her.

They both said they were fully aware fo the reaction bringing Alexandra into their family could evoke in their rural setting.

“It’s not so much out-right hostility we face, it’s the invisibility,” Ms Allen said.

“People don’t assume we’re partners and we fight a constant battle to explain it.

“It’s a constant reminder you don’t fit the system”.

But they said they had been overwhelmed by the support of neighbours and friends, both throughout the pregnacy and since Alexandra was born.

“Violet Town is pretty progressive and the community have embraced us and really accepted us,” Ms Allen said.

As for the future impact on Alexandra, the couple firmly believed the very much planned for baby girl would be as well adjusted as any child from a loving home.

“There are such a diverse range of families now, society really needs to start fully accepting that,” Ms Allen said.

“There is absolutely no accident here, she’s been brought into a large family who all really love her.
“

“I think she’ll be extremely open to diversity”.

GAY and de facto couples will be able to formally register their relationships in Victoria after the Legislative Assembly last night passed historic legislation that split the Coalition.

Liberal leader Ted Baillieu supported the Government bill, which will allow couples to record their relationships with the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriage.

But his new Coalition partner, Nationals leader Peter Ryan, opposed it, as did several Liberal frontbenchers including treasury spokesman Kim Wells, transport spokesman Terry Mulder, shadow attorney-general Robert Clark and former leader Denis Napthine.

All Labor MPs in the chamber for the 10pm vote supported the bill, which the Government says does not create gay marriages or civil unions but will improve access to entitlements such as superannuation for gay couples.

Independent MP Craig Ingram was among the 24 MPs who voted against the bill. It was supported by 54 MPs, including Attorney-General Rob Hulls, who described passage of the legislation as “a great day for Victoria”.

With Liberal and National party MPs having a free vote, Mr Ryan spoke against the register while Mr Baillieu spoke for it.

Mr Ryan said it would detract from the importance of marriage.

“Marriage is a singular issue of great significance in our society,” he said. “It is the cornerstone of enabling a stable family environment for children.”

Mr Ryan said he respected other opinions. However, he described himself as an unapologetic and strong advocate of the institution of marriage.

“What this bill does is to establish a structure which is a step towards equalising the notion of a same-sex relationship in particular with marriage,” he said.

But Mr Baillieu disagreed, saying he had a strong view about bringing people together, and an optimistic view of this legislation.

“I recognise, acknowledge and respect that there are many with a counter view, many who are concerned that this bill signals an erosion of traditional marriage,” he told Parliament.

“I can understand this concern to protect and nurture marriage as an institution. I share the view that marriage is an essential component of our society, our culture and our future.

“But I do not share the argument in regard to this bill that marriage will be undermined. If I did, I would not support it.

“I respect the concern. I just do not share it. For me, this bill is about respect.”

Mr Baillieu said he did not support the concept of gay marriage, but he was in favour of measures to help people manage their relationships, when they are together and when they are separating.

“The Parliament should always preserve to itself the opportunity to legislate in particular areas in favour of marriage and the role and responsibility of raising and nurturing children,” he said.

“But that should not diminish our capacity to assist others and other relationships.”

The bill will be passed in the upper house, with Labor, the Greens and several Liberals certain to support it.

Mr Ryan said the beauty of a free vote — which Labor did not allow its MPs — was that people could express their personal views and vote accordingly.

[Link: Original Article]

Two Mums and a Dad – “2 Mums and a Dad is the story of the rocky road of 3-way parenting, a unique exploration of the nature of family in today’s complicated society, as well as an insightful resource for everyone concerned with issues regarding the raising of children such as access, parent’s rights and family conflict”.

Two same-sex couples share the joy and challenges of parenthood.

Whenever their eyes settle on their little girl, Kirk and Rob Marcolina’s faces beam. Although Sophie is already 20 months old, her two dads are still overwhelmed with having a daughter and relishing their role as fathers. “The most rewarding things are seeing here take her first step, say her first word or give you her first kiss,” says Rob, 37, in the couple’s Rose Bay, Sydney, home. “It is so much fun to watch her grow and learn about the world.”

That they treasure such moments isn’t surprising. To have Sophie – Kirk’s biological child – has been a lengthy, often complicated, process for the couple. Indeed, for any gay or lesbian couple desiring children of their own, the journey can be costly and often relies on the goodwill of others, including sperm and egg donors and surrogate mothers. Then, once they become parents, homosexuals don’t have the same rights and privileges as heterosexual couples – a hot issue during the federal election campaign. (In June, WA became the first Australian state to allow a gay couple to adopt a child.) Indeed, it’s not easy, says Kirk, 37, “for a gay couple to have a child.”

Not that they were ever deterred. Kirk and Rob’s plant to start a family was on the agenda from the moment they met as neighbours in Los Angeles in 2001. “One of the things that attracted us to each other was the fact we both wanted to have kdis one day,” says Kirk, a stay-at-home dad and former TV producer from Philadelphia. He and Melbourne-born Rob, who was working in Los Angeles when they met, married legally in Canada in 2003 and set about starting a family. “It was a question of how,” says Rob, now a management consultant in Sydney for a US-Based company.

They decided on the surrogacy route, and Rob’s sister, Kym, a Melbourne mother of two, volunteered to donate an egg. Kirk would provide the sperm for the in-vitro fertilisation treatment. “Kym knew how important it was for me to have a child,” says Rob, who proudly points out that Sophie has a resemblance to his side of the family. Adds Kirk: “It was an amazing gift to us.” The next challenge was finding a gestational surrogate (a “traditional” surrogate involves the woman’s own egg). While paid surrogacy is illegal in Australia, in the US there are agencies that cate for gay and lesbian couples. Through the Los Angeles agency Growing Generations, Rob and Kirk were put in touch with Sonia, who was implatnted with the fertilised egg (the couple preferred not to disclose what the surrogacy cost, but the price can range from $US115,000 to $US150,000). “We had full involvement during the pregnancy,” says Rob, “and we were at the birth, which was a wonderful experience. When Sophie was born, the doctor handed Sophie to Kirk and I got to cut the cord.”

Being a two-dad family might be different – “At some of the playgroups, you definitely sick out,” says Kirk – but the couple haven’t yet faced any social hurdles. “People are curious because it’s not your average family.” says Kirk. “But everyone has been very positive.”

Sydney couple Kendi and Leigh Burness-Cowan have also had a favourable experience in raising their two children. “I don’t feel there is any difference really between us and other couples with children.” says 32-year old Kendi, a Sydney communications officer who gay birth to both the couple’s children, Hunter, 3, and Hugo, 7 months (the couple use a sperm donor found through a personal ad). “A few people took a while to warm to the idea, but nobody has said anything negative.”

Where problems can arise is in the rights of the parents. THe Burness-Cowans and the Marcolinas “are not legally recognised as couples,” says human-rights commissioner Graeme Innes. “It can have an impact in terms of access to the Medicare safety net, access to various tax provisions and access to leave which might relate to looking after a sick child.”

For Kendi, this hasn’t posed a problem, “apart from crossing out lots of “father’ columns on various forms,” she says. “Where it would be an issue would be if the parents separated and there were custody issues, although the courts consider a child’s ‘best interest.’” And Rob and Kirk say they simply want more acceptance of gay and lesbian families in Australia. “A lot of people say gay people shouldn’t be parents,” says Rob. “What I’d like to say is that when a gay person has a family, they really want that child – they’re the most wanted kids, in a way Sophie has the love of two dads, two loving parents, which is all you can really ask for.”

For gays and lesbians, having kids used to be an impossible dream. Emma Westwood meets two Australian couples who are building a brave new family world

CASE 1
Two mummas
Parents: Janet Asser and
Zoë McCallum
Children: Felix and Sebastian
(twins age 21 months)

For Zoë McCallum, kneeling in front of the coffee table with reheated pasta and one ear trained on the bedroom where her twin boys, Felix and Sebastian, sleep is a typical daily ritual. Like other families in Australia today, she tag-teams parenting with her partner who’ll be home from shift work at 11pm. In that way, McCallum is your average mum. Start her talking about the current crisis in childcare, and she is as impassioned as the next person. But if raising a child wasn’t difficult enough, McCallum and her partner, Janet Asser, have double the responsibility (twins) and they’re also in a same-sex relationship – one that has no legal recognition in the eyes of the Australian government and one that saw them jump through a number of hoops
and loopholes to realize the family they believe they deserved.

As the biological mother of the children, McCallum conceived through in vitro fertilization (IVF) and the altruistic “gift” from a traceable sperm donor. However,
just like a mother in a stable heterosexual relationship, she equally shares the parenting duties with Asser – which includes being called mumma. For the boys, Asser
and McCallum are both their parents, even though the law prevents Asser from appearing on their birth certificates. “We had twins who required both of us to be involved from the moment they were born,” says Asser of their individual responsibilities in the nurturing of their children. “There was not an abundance of breast milk so top-up bottle feeds were required. Each feeding session took about an hour and a half. Zoë would breast feed one then I would bottle feed that child and repeat the process with the second.

“I never saw the boys as anything but my children,” she continues. “I was there from their creation to birth and beyond. It is all and much more than I expected. The
only thing I didn’t factor in was how vulnerable it makes you. I fear for my kids in
a gut-wrenching way. It is a bizarre sensation to know that you have two beautiful
creatures who rely on you for everything and you must protect them.”

The road to domestic bliss – or should we say, “domestic hubbub” in the case of the energetic Asser-McCallum twins – was not smooth sailing. Issues surrounding assisted reproductive technology for same-sex couples in Australia are complex and vary across states. For lesbian couples, the only alternatives are the rather crude “turkey baster” method or to access IVF by masquerading in a heterosexual relationship and proving that the woman is medically infertile. In the state of Victoria, IVF is not available to single women, and lesbians are officially deemed “single” by an outdated system.

“I had never felt discriminated against before,” laments McCallum. “Never in my entire life, despite being an ‘out’ and professional female, so being discriminated
against with regards to having kids was a life-changing thing. To have your rights curtailed about reproduction is probably one of the most emotional things, I would argue.

“I made myself aware of what laws were available and what the options were,” adds McCallum, who speaks with anger over a situation she feels is yet to be rectified.
“I’d followed debates for some time and had written letters to the prime minister
over the years challenging his family values and the absolute myths of the nuclear
family and the fact that all that stuff was predicated on wrong data – or no data.”
Eventually, McCallum’s research and unwavering determination to create the family she had always desired led her to the Rainbow Families Organization, a support group established for samesex parents. Through RFO information sessions, Asser and McCallum met other women in similar circumstances to themselves and eventually were referred to a doctor who was sympathetic to their cause.

With McCallum trained as a pediatrician and Asser a pediatric nurse, both were aware of problems arising from genetics and, therefore, mindful their donor’s full profile was readily available to them. The next hurdle was choosing who would carry the child.
“That was a huge quandary for us because we had to consider Janet being the biological mother rather than me, which I had never prepared myself for,” explains McCallum. However, Asser’s attempts at conception proved fruitless and McCallum, suspected to have polycystic ovaries, was then able to step up as a “back-up womb”.

“I had to think of Janet as the biological mother of my child in a way I never had before,” says McCallum. “The only sadness of that was, when she didn’t fall pregnant, we had to grieve for that. She had to face up to the fact that she could not have one. It sounds a bit clichéd, but it definitely solidified our intent to have a family and made us more true co-parents. “I’m still sad that I can’t parent her biological child in the way any other partner would if they were straight or gay. I suppose that’s been reinforced by having my own biological kids and seeing the true gift of it. Janet said the other day, ‘I never once have felt that these children are not mine.’ ” While McCallum and Asser have been supported in their workplaces as two mothers raising two boys, inevitably there are the knockers who consider their situation “unnatural”. “I used to be angry and want to educate them, but now I pity them,” says McCallum.

As part of any community, the boys have constant male role models and their parents are even contemplating employing a “manny”, but regardless, Asser is unashamedly a tomboy and, unlike McCallum, knows how to play “boy-style”, throwing balls around and the like.

“Janet and I are so different and have one of those relationships where we are much
bigger than the sum of our parts because of our differences,” says McCallum. “Hopefully, we’ll set a good example for the boys because our relationship shows how two completely different people can live fantastically together – fulfilling very happy lives – and make society a better place, despite having completely different ways of doing it.”

CASE 2
Daddy and Tatay
Parents: Jason and Adrian
Tuazon-McCheyne
Children: Ruben (age 20 months)

When meeting Jason and Adrian Tuazon-McCheyne at a café, it is hardly difficult
spotting them walking down the street. “We’ll be the two guys – one white, one Filipino – pushing a pram,” laughs Jason. For some, being in an interracial relationship is challenging enough, let alone living openly as homosexual men and overcoming the many roadblocks to fathering a child together. In order to complete their family unit, though, Adrian and Jason were willing to go to the ends of the Earth.

Their journey took them to Los Angeles, to be exact – via Toronto in Canada, where the two officially married in 2004 because homosexual marriages are still not legal in Australia. Well before that, in 2000, they discussed the possibility of starting a family and resolved that it was a path they w
ere both very eager to tread.

Firstly, the two men investigated adoption, but very quickly found the door slammed firmly in their faces. “We were told not to bother even coming to the information session,” says Jason. The next option was surrogacy through an American agency – a costly, time-consuming and controversial process, but one Adrian and Jason were willing to endure in order to pursue their dream.

“All of the surrogates are screened medically and psychologically,” explains Jason. “They have to have had children already. They have to be financially independent, although they receive a modest stipend. They have to be an appropriate person to be a surrogate first before they even go into the pool.

“In our case, she [the surrogate] provided the egg, but most surrogates don’t – they just carry the fertilized embryo,” says Jason. “We used what they call ‘traditional
surrogacy’ where it was done through insemination. But it could only be from one of us, and whether it was one or two babies was a natural occurrence.”

As with all pregnancies, the experience was what Adrian calls a “roller-coaster ride”. In fact, before Ruben, their surrogate suffered a miscarriage. “It was really, really sad because you just don’t know what’s going to happen next,” says Adrian. “You’re not sure whether it’s going to work.”

Yet, the men were keen to push forward in their attempts for a successful pregnancy and, as far as they were concerned, they would continue pushing until they had a child.
“We went to America four times,” reveals Jason. “Once to start the process, two to meet her, three to see how the pregnancy was going and four for the birth. It was good that we were far away because we couldn’t worry about the day-to-day.”

Adrian adds: “The main thing we didn’t want her to do was drink or smoke, which she didn’t.” “It was never her baby,” says Jason. “She never felt that it was her baby. Her partner and children never bonded with the pregnancy.

Legally, once Ruben was conceived, he was our child. And that was important. Over there, it’s all legally and ethically done above reproach. They’re more concerned
that you won’t come and take your child. After all of this, if you don’t take your child, they go up for adoption.” Just like any fathers, Adrian and Jason were present at the birth of their child – videotaping and taking photographs for posterity. Their surrogate only saw the baby the next day after the birth, although the two families got together for lunch before Adrian and Jason flew with little Ruben back home to Australia.

They retain friendship ties to this day. “We had to work really hard, seven days a week, for five years beforehand to be able to afford the process, prepare everything, fly to the United States, have the car seat in the car ready for when Ruben got home… and somehow that’s bad?” says Jason in response to any critics.

“There’s this widespread belief that men are not natural parents, which is definitely not true,” adds Adrian. “It’s always that the women are more important than men.” As far as Ruben is concerned, having two dads is as natural as a mother and father. “He differentiates between the two of us – daddy and Tatay, which is ‘daddy’ in Filipino,” Jason says.

“When it comes down to it, gender is not important anyway. He loves trucks and cars and trams – he’s not a doll boy. His orientation will be whatever it is, and it will
probably be straight, which is great. But if it’s not, we certainly know what his journey will be like and we’ll be able to help him.”

When it comes to telling Ruben about his unique introduction into this world, Adrian and Jason have no solid plans, but will instead just go with the flow. “When he’s old enough, we’ll just show him and tell him this great story about how all these people came together so he could be born,” says Jason. “It’s a fantastic story. There’s no abandonment. It’s just – wow! I think he should be pretty excited about it.”

[Link: Original Article]

PROSPECTIVE RAINBOW PARENTS WANTED by Cara Davis

Cathy and her female long-term partner have long dreamt of becoming parents, but have struggled to find a gay couple to co-parent with.

The women want to find a gay man who is interested in their child’s life, but the opportunities for meeting and socialising with other prospective parents are rare.

For years, lesbians and gay men have been asking Dominic Gili from Rainbow Families where they can meet others to co-parent with but, with so few options available, Gili has had to suggest placing an advertisement in a local paper, or joining an online forum.

Gili, through Rainbow Families, has now organised a night for prospective rainbow parents at the Bank Hotel, Newtown, on Monday 26 November.

Gili said the night is intended to help those who have hopes of becoming parents and have not met someone to co-parent with. But it also will give people the opportunity to share stories and discuss child-related issues.

“Like-minded people can just come together and chat, and someone might make a contact who, down the track, they can co-parent with,” he said.

“It sounds too much like a dating game when you say it that way, but there is just no forum for that in Sydney at the moment.”

Gili said he had received a lot of interest from the men wishing to be dads, via the Gay Dads NSW group, and now hoped to spread the word among the lesbian community.

The Prospective Rainbow Parents night will start at 7pm. For more information email Dominic at nsw@gaydadsaustralia.com or call 0400 296 253 or 9573 0372.

[Link: Original Article]