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Archive for the ‘Sperm Donor’ Category

The Australian – "Gay Dad in Appeal to Find Son" by AAP

December 19th, 2008 No comments

A GAY father has launched an international appeal for help to find his son, whom he believes may be living in Australia.

Michael Turberville has not seen seven-year-old son Ashley Skinner since the child disappeared with his mother, Joanne Skinner, more than a year ago after a custody battle, British media reported today.

Mr Turberville pleaded with anyone who knew the boy’s whereabouts to alert authorities.

“It is gut-wrenching not to be able to see my son,” he told the Evening Standard newspaper.

Dual US-British citizen Mr Turberville reportedly fathered Ashley with Ms Skinner after advertising in another publication for a “like-minded” lesbian. Both parents were in same-sex relationships at the time.

Ms Skinner’s mother received a letter from her in April sent from the US, but Mr Turberville believes it was written in Australia and passed on to someone in America to post.

The letter said Ashley had started school.

The UK’s top family court judge, High Court family division president Sir Mark Potter, took the unusual step of lifting reporting restrictions which apply in children’s cases in hopes the publicity would help trace Ashley.

Anyone with information was asked to contact the Royal Courts of Justice in London on +44 207 947 6200.

[Link: Original Article ]

Categories: Co-Parenting, Sperm Donor Tags:

The Advertiser – "30 South Australian lesbian mums 'impregnated by same man" by Tony Shepherd

October 8th, 2008 No comments

UNREGULATED sperm donation is leading to unusual situations in which the children of lesbians in Adelaide are mixing socially – creating a risk of incest.
One of South Australia’s foremost experts in reproductive technology – Reverend Dr Andrew Dutney – says that in one reported case, about 30 lesbians were impregnated by sperm from one man.
The mothers then organised picnics with all the children, raising the fear they might socialise with their half-siblings without realising they are related.
In another case, a man’s sperm was used to produce 29 children, most of whom are living in Adelaide. They do not know who their half-siblings are, raising concerns that in a “big country town” like Adelaide, they could accidentally commit incest.
In South Australia it has become standard practice to identify sperm donors, which has put men off donating through reproductive clinics.
Fertility treatments do not generally cater to homosexuals, because the law says it is only for infertile couples or those at risk of transmitting a serious defect.
These factors combine to push many people wanting children to seek help elsewhere – either through “turkey basters” or casual sex with friends or willing participants found online.
Assoc Prof Dutney, the former chair of the SA Council on Reproductive Technology and Associate Professor of Theology at Flinders University, says the SA regulations are at fault and should be repealed altogether, leaving reproductive medical units to comply with the national ethical guidelines.
He uses the anecdote of the “very generous” sperm donor to emphasise that when people are excluded from access to reproductive technology, it forces them to go it alone, and have children outside the normal system.
Those children were born about a decade ago, meaning they will be reaching adolescence in the next few years.
“The effect of our regulations here in SA is that they produce unregulated donor conception, whereas a system with a lighter touch would bring a whole lot more parents and children into the light,” Assoc Prof Dutney said.
“The situation at the moment is that … by adhering to the SA legislation, clinics have to be in breach of the national code.
“Under SA’s legislation, anonymity is guaranteed while under the national code of ethics, the child’s access to knowledge has to be provided.”
A different man’s sperm was used to produce 29 children, most of whom are living in Adelaide. Again, they don’t know they are related.
Leonie Hewitt is the mother of one of the children in Adelaide from the second example mentioned above. She is also the spokeswoman for the Sydney-based Donor Conception Support Group of Australia.
She says people need to recognise the “human rights” of the children in all of this.
“There needs to be consistent national legislation,” she said.
“We need to protect people who are conceived through donations whether in straight or homosexual families, we need to protect those children.
“We need national harmonising legislation that protects human rights.”
Categories: IVF, Sperm Donor Tags:

Australian Gay & Lesbian Law Blog – "QLD: Fatherhood Just Got More Interesting" by Stephen Page

September 15th, 2008 No comments

Stephen Page from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia is a partner with Harrington Family Lawyers, Brisbane, a long established boutique family law firm. He writes a wonderful blog called “Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog. [Ed - Rodney Cruise]


Back in May I posted about how Queensland Attorney Kerry Shine was seeking to amend the Status of Children Act so that the position of IVF dads becamse clear- if they were to donate sperm to single mums or a lesbian couple, then they would not be dads in law.

I had chased up Kerry Shine’s office- twice- as to whether the proposed changes would cover men offering sperm to their female friends, but my calls were not returned and I was none the wiser.

Last week a friend told me that he was considering donating sperm via a website: http://www.free-sperm-donations.com/ . He ultimately had second thoughts.

At the time that Kerry Shine made the announcement, he considered that part of the reason for making the changes was so that sperm donors to IVF women would not be fathers and therefore would not be required to pay child support. He proposed that the laws be retrospective to 1988- when the Status of Children Act was enacted!

Because of my friend’s situation, I looked over the weekend, and found that tucked in at the back of the Guardianship and Administration and Other Acts Amendment Bill were these proposed changes.

So what do they mean? If enacted, the Bill would make ensure that if a woman other than a married woman were to have a child by a sperm donor- if she were to go through IVF, then the donor will NOT be the father and will never have the rights of fatherhood unless and until he marries her. It doesn’t matter if the woman and the man agree that he is to have those rights- that agreement is irrelevant.

However, if the man donates sperm to the mother other than through IVF, then it is possible that he might be considered to be the father, in which case there would be certain rights under the Family Law Act, including the presumption of equal parental responsibility, and the obligation to pay child support.

Although there are two decisions of the Family Court which in part dealt with Victorian legislation which would suggest that the known sperm donor would not be a father or parent under the Family Law Act and under child support legislation, there is no guarantee that that court will follow the same approach with the Queensland legislation, especially when the Attorney expressly stated that part of the purpose of the legislation was so that donors would not have to pay child support. If the legislation that he is proposing does not include known donations other than via IVF, then this of itself raises the possibility that known donors other than through IVF might be treated as fathers and liable to pay child support (and seek to make decisions about the child and spend time with the child, maybe even equal time, relying on the Family Law Act).



[Link: Original Article]

Categories: Gay, IVF, Sperm Donor Tags:

Australian Gay & Lesbian Law Blog – "Children born after donor insemination should be told as soon as possible about their conception" by Stephen Page

August 27th, 2008 No comments

Stephen Page from Brisbane, Queensland, Australia is a partner with Harrington Family Lawyers, Brisbane, a long established boutique family law firm. He writes a wonderful blog called “Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog. [Ed - Rodney Cruise]

It is better for children conceived by donor insemination to be told of their origins at an early age, according to the first large-scale study of people who are aware of their donor conception. If the children are not told until they are 18 or older, they are more likely to have feelings of shock and anger, the 24th annual meeting of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology in Barcelona heard.

The study is one of the first to compare the views of offspring of donor insemination told of their origins during childhood compared with those who only found out in adulthood. The researchers recruited a sample of 165 offspring conceived by sperm donation through the Donor Sibling Registry – a US-based, worldwide website that enables donor offspring to search for their donors and their donor siblings (other donor offspring who share the same donor). The participants answered an online questionnaire consisting of multiple-choice and open-ended questions. They were aged 13-61; 148 (89%) were living in the USA and four (2%) were living in the UK; the majority (approximately three-quarters) were female.

Dr Vasanti Jadva, a research associate at the Centre for Family Research, University of Cambridge (UK), found that children born into mother-only or same-sex parent families were much more likely to be told about their origins before the age of three than were children of heterosexual parents: 63%, 56% and 9% respectively. Indeed, 33% of children in heterosexual families were told about their conception after the age of 18, compared with none in the other two types of families. Two children from heterosexual parents only found out when told by people who were not their parents.

Dr Jadva said: “We asked the offspring how they felt at the time they found out about their conception, excluding those that found out before the age of three as they would have been too young to recall their feelings. For all offspring, the most common feeling was curiosity, irrespective of the age at which they found out. However, there were differences according to the age at which they had been told of their conception, with those told during adulthood more likely to report feeling confused, shocked, upset, relieved, numb and angry.”

For instance, 37% of those told when aged 4-11 reported feeling confused, compared to 52% told when aged 12-18, and 69% told when aged over 18. In the respective age groups, 27%, 58% and 75% respectively reported feeling shocked; 16%, 23% and 44% reported feeling upset; 6%, 26% and 38% reported feeling relieved; 6%, 26% and 38% reported feeling numb; and 12%, 13% and 38% reported feeling angry.

Examples of comments made by the participants included:

“I would have appreciated revelation of this information much earlier in my life. Learning of my biological identity at 17 years of age was a traumatic event.” A 30-year-old, found out at age 17.

“I am angry because I asked about being ‘adopted’ several times throughout my childhood and adolescence and told that I was being foolish. I knew.” Someone who found out at age 50

“Either tell your kid from the beginning or don’t tell them at all, it was one of the most shocking and upsetting moments of my life. I felt alone.” A 19-year-old, found out at age 12.

“I was so young I don’t remember feeling much more than interested and curious.” A 13-year-old who found out at age four.

Dr Jadva said: “With regards to how offspring felt towards their mother at the time of finding out, offspring told in adolescence or adulthood were more likely to report feeling angry about being lied to and betrayal. Those told as children were more likely to state that it made no difference to how they felt towards their mother compared to those told later in life.” According to whether they were told between 4-11, 12-18 or over 18, 12%, 29% and 47% respectively felt angry at being lied to, and 12%, 23% and 34% felt betrayal. There were no statistically significant differences in feelings of offspring towards their father at the time of disclosure.

When asked how they felt currently about their conception, the most common response was curiosity, reported by 69% of offspring. There were significant differences for those feeling angry, relieved and shocked, with those told after the age of 18 more likely to report these feelings. By contrast, a 15-year-old, told before the age of three, commented: “I’ve grown up knowing how I was conceived. I’ve always been accepting to it because I never knew any different. Now that I am a little older the only thing that’s changed is that I’m a bit more curious.”

Dr Jadva concluded: “This study shows that age of disclosure is important in determining donor offspring’s feeling about their conception. It appears it is better for children to be told about their donor conception at an early age. This finding is in line with research on adoption, which also shows that children benefit from early disclosure about the circumstances of their birth.

“In light of the trend toward greater openness, it is important we recognise that telling offspring of their conception may evoke a sense of curiosity about their origins which could lead them to seek out their donor relations. In fact, we have found that offspring show high levels of interest in contacting not only their donor, but also their donor siblings. Offspring from this study have gone on to find an average of four donor siblings, with a maximum of 13.”

[Link: Original Article]

Categories: IVF, Sperm Donor Tags:

Time Out Sydney – "Doting Dads" by Andrew Georgiou

However and whenever the calling to be a dad arises, the fact is that gay men make incredibly loving, nurturing and open-minded parents. In this special report, Andrew Georgiou looks at the different roads to gay fatherhood in Australia.

Click on the images to see full size.


Doting Dads

However and whenever the calling to be a dad arises, the fact is that gay men make incredibly loving, nurturing and open-minded parents. In this special report, Andrew Georgiou looks at the different roads to gay fatherhood in Australia.

Parental instincts. Some men are born with them, for others the desire to be a gay dad kicks in later in life. Gay Dads Australia is a national group of gay men who celebrate the joys of fatherhood through online forums, social gatherings and exchange of resources on their website which has been operating for just over five years.

Rodney Cruise, 42, runs the Gay Dads Australia website which boasts over 400 members between NSW and Victoria. While Cruise and his partner 39-year-old Jeff Chiang have experienced the joys of parenting their 15-month-old son Ethan through a surrogacy arrangement they underwent in the United States, Cruise notes that gay dads across the country have fulfilled their dreams of fatherhood through a variety of scenarios.

“We have dads who have become fathers through known donor arrangements, co-parenting agreements, surrogacy and those with children through previous relationships with women”.

Each situation varies, but the fact remains: a greatly loved child is the ultimate outcome.

Surrogacy

Mostly exercised through surrogacy agencies in the United States, this process is proving to be increasingly popular with gay men in Australia with the desire to be full time dads. Surrogacy sees a gay man or gay male couple firstly choosing an egg donor through a clinic and fertilizing that egg with one of the couple’s sperm. With the assistance of a surrogacy agency, the male couple are introduced to a surrogate whom through IVF, will be implanted with the fertilized egg and carry the baby for the couple to full term. The surrogate is in no way linked to the child, leaving the biological father and his partner as the legal parents to raise the child in Australia.

In 2006 Cruise and Chiang were blessed with their first son Ethan through the assistance of US based Surrogacy agency Growing Generations, which has helped over 500 couples become parents. Their affection and connection with their chosen surrogate developed so strongly during her pregnancy with their son, Rodney and Jeff extended their family network to include Kelly into their now 15 month old son Ethan’s life.

“Even though they are in the US and we live here, Kelly and her family are now a part of ours”, says Jeff.

“Women like her, do this because they genuinely want to help people become parents”. Cruise’s partner Jeff comes from a traditional Taiwanese family which has a long history of basing family on geography rather than biology.

“Jeff’s extended family is made up of people who have descended from his parents village who are often not biologically related. When you think about it these were the first alternative families, and Jeff and I continue that tradition by creating our sense of family as loving and devoted fathers to Ethan” says Cruise.

It’s inspiring to see that a traditional Taiwanese culture can embrace the concept of gay parenting, while negative sensationalism perpetuated in the local media can feed intolerance from with Australia’s wider community. While the costs involved in becoming parents reached the $150,000 mark, Rodney and Jeff’s natural paternal instincts will see them extend their family again when the surrogate for their next child is chosen in May.

“The concept of the traditional family is rather outdated,” says Cruise, “the genetic make up of a family is irrelevant to us. We believe a family is about love.”

Known Donor

The flipside to the surrogacy scenario is the known donor situation where a gay male provides the sperm to single lesbian or a lesbian who is partnered. The basis of this arrangement sees the single or coupled lesbians raise the child with any parental rights or responsibility placed on the biological father. Individual arrangements may be made where the father sees the child throughout his or her upbringing, as either an uncle, family friend or even as dad, though the parental rights are reserved exclusively for the lesbian couple. Known donor cases are usually carried without issue as they have taken on a specific role, which takes a step back from the role and responsibilities of raising the child. 39-year-old Allan from Sydney’s inner West is the very proud known donor to nineteen-month-old Zara.

While Allan spends quality time with Zara and enjoys a close friendship with her lesbian parents, he has maintained the agreement, which sees Zara’s mothers as her full time parents. “I’m very close to the girls and Zara and see them every week. My reward for the gift I have given the girls is seeing the immense joy Zara has brought to everyone’s lives, including grandparents,” says Allan.

“I guess I am seen as a satellite figure or even uncle, and that has worked out incredibly well for all of us. All of our friends have been extremely supportive of the situation.” Last month the NSW Government made its long awaited announcement that it would commit to amending laws to give same-sex parents of children conceived through artificial fertilization the right to officially registered the names of both mothers on a child’s birth certificate.

Co-parenting

Sees the single male or gay male couple act as a co-parent, along side a single or couple lesbian. This arrangement may see a child with two mothers and two fathers, which ultimately provides a double dose of devotion and love for the child. “The biggest issue for gay dads in co-parenting is working out a reasonable arrangement with a lesbian couple and maintaining it,” say Gay Dads Australia’s Rodney Cruise. “Often couples may site down prior to the arrangement and figure out who will see the child and when.”

Many Australian children may have four heterosexual parents through divorce and new marriages, the child of four gay parents often grow up with the extended family from birth. Co-parenting may see the child living with either sets of parents on a full or part time basis based upon a mutal agreement between the male and female couples.

Adoption

Adoption ofr gay singles and couples is legal in the United States, United Kingdom, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and the Netherlands, Australia has failed to catch up to speed. In 2007 a WA couple made Australian history by being the first gay couple granted the right to adopt, however since the landmark ruling no other couples have been allowed to follow suit. Though inter-country adoption between Australian and co-adoption countries such as China exist for heterosexuals, the same rights are not currently extended to gay and lesbian singles or couples wanting to adopt.

Previous relationship

Like countless other gay fathers across Australia, 45-year-old Gregory Duffy, from Sydney’s East has enjoyed the riches of
fatherhood through children born out of a previous heterosexual relationship. “I was married, in love and ultimately wanted to start a family and have children of my own,” recalls Duffy.

After the birth of his second daughter, Duffy came to terms with his own sexuality. “I came out to myself toward the end of 1993, and left the marriage when my children Victoria and Georgia were five and two-and-a-half years old. All they really knew was that Dad had left but not for a deeper reason. I did not officially come out to my wife till at least 6 months later.”

“Finally, we began to talk about a whole lot of issues we never touched on before.”

Although Duffy did not come out to his eldest daughter Victoria for another seven years, he recalls his eldest girl struggling with the decision more than his youngest.

“Victoria was quite upset and didn’t fully understand what it was for me to be gay, but after numerous long chats she slowly adjusted and actually felt it was quite cool to have a gay dad!”

Today Greg enjoys a wonderful relationship with Victoria, 19 and Georgina, 16. “Having two beautiful daughters that accept me for who I am and have never judged me for being gay has enriched our relationship. It has been an interesting and emotional journey, but to know I have had their love and support has made the road much easier to travel.”

For more information on Gay Dads Australia and advice on surrogacy go to www.gaydadsaustralia.com.

[Link: Original Article]

Relationship and Parent Rights Question & Answer – Jenni Millbank


Jenni Millbank is a Barrister and Professor of Law at the University of Technology, Sydney. Jenni has an extensive background in family law and same-sex relationship recognition.

This is an extract of the advice provided on the GLRL website (www.glrl.org.au)

Please note that this column is information of a general nature only and does not constitute legal advice.
*NEW* Questions Answered this Month:

* Both I and my same-sex partner want to migrate from our home country to Australia. Can we do this together as a couple under the skilled migration program?
* The federal government lacks the constitutional power to introduce civil unions (as the power it is granted in the constitution is over “marriage”, “divorce” and “matrimonial causes”). What are some options available to get around this problem?
* Are fertility clinics in NSW and Qld prohibited from providing access to lesbians?
* Is it possible to become a parent through surrogacy in Australia? What is the law with regards to payment to the surrogate mother by the donors?
* What is the age of consent in NSW?

Previously Answered Questions:

Adoption, Surrogacy and Parenting

* Are agreements between donors and mothers binding?
* What is the legal position of known and anonymous donors?
* Is second parent adoption possible in Australia, ie can a lesbian co-mother adopt children born to her partner?
* Would marriage give the right to adopt? Or would civil unions or de facto status do so?
* What is the legal standing of surrogacy in Australia for gay men wanting to be fathers?

Civil Unions and Marriage

* What federal rights available to married and de facto couples are not available to couples under a state-based civil union?
* Do married couples have more rights than de facto couples at federal level?
* Some people are against marriage because historically marriage treated women as property. Are women disadvantaged in any way in modern day marriage?
* What is the difference between relationship registration and civil unions?
* If I register my relationship in Tasmania or have a civil union in the ACT, will that be recognised in federal law – eg for immigration purposes will I be treated as married rather than as interdependent?

De Facto Relationships

* What relationship rights do I have at the moment?
* How is de facto recognition different from marriage or civil unions?
* I read that the De Facto Relationships Act applies 11 tests to determine the legal validity of a de facto relationship, and that typically gay men can only satisfy 4 of these 11 criteria. Is this so?
* How do I prove I am in a de facto relationship?
* Would federal recognition of same-sex couples as de facto relationships take away any of our current rights at state level?
* Would de facto recognition at federal level allow a government that did not like same-sex relationships to ban same-sex relationship recognition, like the marriage ban?

Protecting your Relationship Rights

* What rights do straight couples have that I don’t have?
* What can I do to get legal rights and protection for my relationship now?
* What is a “domestic relationship agreement”?
* How can I enter into a domestic relationship agreement and how much will it cost?

Sex

* What is the age of consent in NSW?

Superannuation

* How do I prove my relationship for superannuation

To find out the answer to these questions and more, visit the GLRL website at www.glrl.org.au or click here.

SX – "One State, One Mother" by Jenni Millbank


There’s no reason for New South Wales to be dragging the chain in same-sex parenting rights, writes Jenni Millbank.family-250.jpg

The majority of same-sex families in Australia are formed by lesbian couples having children through assisted conception.

In some families this is with anonymous sperm, while in others it is with the help of a known donor or biological father who is often a gay man.

Men in these arrangements occupy a wide variety of roles, from a ‘donor’ with little or no contact with the child, to an on-going relationship that is friendly and may or may not involve him being called ‘Dad’.

Children in all of these families have two mothers but have the protection and security of a legal relationship with only one parent: the birth mother. These children may also be deprived of a legal relationship with their sister or brother. Even if they have the same biological father but are each born to a different mother in the couple, NSW will not record the children as siblings.

A very simple way to solve this situation is to open up the existing presumption of parental status for heterosexual couples and apply it to lesbian couples.

A man who consents to his female partner conceiving through donor insemination or IVF is the legal father of the child regardless of his lack of genetic connection to the child. This presumption, in existence for more than 30 years in Australian law, renders social fathers the legal fathers of children whom they intended to raise.

A sperm donor, whether known or anonymous is (like an egg donor) not a legal parent.

This rule recognises the importance of children having a legally protected relationship with both of the parents who actually live with and care for them, regardless of genetic connection.

Such parents can then make important medical decisions for their children, can travel with them overseas, and can pass on property to them in the absence of a will. Legal recognition also ensures that both parents are equally placed if they later separate and have a dispute.

The biological connection of one parent in these situations should not be used as a weapon to exclude the other.

Providing automatic recognition to the second female parent in lesbian families should not be seen as something that competes with, or detracts from, the rights of a known donor/biological father.

Firstly, known donors are not legal fathers in Australia, so they do not lose any rights by co-mothers gaining parental status.

Secondly, in the vast majority of families, children live with their mothers and some have a contact relationship with their biological father, which does not necessarily require full parental status.

Furthermore, if biological fathers have, or wish to have, relationships with children, the Family Court has attached great importance to both the social relationship and their biological connection with the child, regardless of the lack of legal parental status.

Legal recognition of lesbian co-mothers is not about devaluing the role of involved gay fathers; rather it is about providing a clear legal support for the primary caregiving unit.

In 2002 Western Australia was the first Australian state to extend a presumption of parentage to lesbian partners, followed by the Northern Territory in 2003 and the ACT in 2004. This parental status will be extended to both female parents in Victorian law later in 2008.

Equivalent reforms have also been in place in South Africa since 2003, New Zealand since 2004 and were introduced in most Canadian provinces from 2002-2006.

The Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission recommended similar provisions for all federal law in their report into same-sex families last year.

Yet last week the NSW Attorney-General John Hatzistergos announced that NSW will not follow the lead of WA, the ACT, NT and Victoria, and will instead continue to prevent children in lesbian families from having the protection and care of two legal parents.

This stubborn resistance to the tide of change is lamentable: NSW was the first to introduce same-sex couple rights in 1999, don’t let us be the last to pass parenting rights.

Jenni Millbank is a Professor of Law at the University of Technology, Sydney.

[Link: Original Article]

Shepparton News – "Keen to Secure Equal Standing" by Kim Stephens

Rowena Allen and Kaye Bradshaw siad the birth of their daughter Alexandra hammered home the inequality gay and lesbian couples face. Victorian Government MPs are expect to pass a new Bill that will create a relationships register for gay and lsbian couples to officially recognise them as partners.

Part of the new legislation would enable a same sex partner to discuss medical treatment with doctors, something Ms Bradshaw was legally unable to do when Ms Allen underwent an emergency caesarean.

“At this point we have no rights”, Ms Allen said.

“Kaye is not formally recognised as here (Alexandra’s) parent.” The couple were forced to undergo home insemination to conceive Alexandra with access to IVF services only permitted for medical reasons.

“Women are denied access to IVF if the are scoially infertile, i.e. if they don’t want to have sex with a man”, Ms Bradshaw said.

Ms Bradshaw and Ms Allen said though it needed an “accelerator”, there were confident society was steadily progressing and gay couples would on day be recognised as equal to heterosexual couples.

“We hope that by the time Alexandra’s at school we will be formally married, ” Ms Allen said.

Shepparton News – "A Rainbow Family" by Kim Stephens

March 14th, 2008 1 comment


Lesbian Mums Welcome Little Bundle of Joy with Open Arms

Violet town couple Rowena Allen and Kaye Bradshaw joke their baby daughter Alexandra will probably one day nervously come to them to say she likes boys.

“Statistically, the odds are she will be heterosexual,” Ms Allen said yesterday.

“But we’ll still love her anyway,” Ms Bradshaw finished.

The Lesbian couple’s leap-day baby is a special bundle of joy for more than just her February 29 birth date.

While gay families such as theirs are increasingly common and readily accepted in urban settings, in more conservative country settings the concept remains relatively rare.

“We knew we were going to be trailblazers,” Ms Allen, who gave birth to ALexandra, said.

“We thought about doing it in Melbourne but we really wanted to have here in our community.”

Alexandra was born at Goulburn valley Base Hospital, capping off what Ms Allen jokingly described as “a bizarre rainbow family”.

Ms Bradshaw has two sons, aged 19 and 20, while Alexandra’s father – the couple’s gay Melbourne friend Ian Seal – also has two sons of similar ages, all of whom have been thrilled by the latest addition to their families.

“They have all said she will be very well protected if anything should happen when she gets to school,” Ms Bradshaw said.

Ms Bradshaw, 46, and Ms Allen, 35, also agreed Mr Seal would continue to play a pivotal role in his daughter’s life and would always be “dad” to her.

They both said they were fully aware fo the reaction bringing Alexandra into their family could evoke in their rural setting.

“It’s not so much out-right hostility we face, it’s the invisibility,” Ms Allen said.

“People don’t assume we’re partners and we fight a constant battle to explain it.

“It’s a constant reminder you don’t fit the system”.

But they said they had been overwhelmed by the support of neighbours and friends, both throughout the pregnacy and since Alexandra was born.

“Violet Town is pretty progressive and the community have embraced us and really accepted us,” Ms Allen said.

As for the future impact on Alexandra, the couple firmly believed the very much planned for baby girl would be as well adjusted as any child from a loving home.

“There are such a diverse range of families now, society really needs to start fully accepting that,” Ms Allen said.

“There is absolutely no accident here, she’s been brought into a large family who all really love her.

“I think she’ll be extremely open to diversity”.

Who Magazine – "Not Your Average Family" by Michael Crooks & Emma Dimwiddie

December 17th, 2007 No comments

Two same-sex couples share the joy and challenges of parenthood.

Whenever their eyes settle on their little girl, Kirk and Rob Marcolina’s faces beam. Although Sophie is already 20 months old, her two dads are still overwhelmed with having a daughter and relishing their role as fathers. “The most rewarding things are seeing here take her first step, say her first word or give you her first kiss,” says Rob, 37, in the couple’s Rose Bay, Sydney, home. “It is so much fun to watch her grow and learn about the world.”

That they treasure such moments isn’t surprising. To have Sophie – Kirk’s biological child – has been a lengthy, often complicated, process for the couple. Indeed, for any gay or lesbian couple desiring children of their own, the journey can be costly and often relies on the goodwill of others, including sperm and egg donors and surrogate mothers. Then, once they become parents, homosexuals don’t have the same rights and privileges as heterosexual couples – a hot issue during the federal election campaign. (In June, WA became the first Australian state to allow a gay couple to adopt a child.) Indeed, it’s not easy, says Kirk, 37, “for a gay couple to have a child.”

Not that they were ever deterred. Kirk and Rob’s plant to start a family was on the agenda from the moment they met as neighbours in Los Angeles in 2001. “One of the things that attracted us to each other was the fact we both wanted to have kdis one day,” says Kirk, a stay-at-home dad and former TV producer from Philadelphia. He and Melbourne-born Rob, who was working in Los Angeles when they met, married legally in Canada in 2003 and set about starting a family. “It was a question of how,” says Rob, now a management consultant in Sydney for a US-Based company.

They decided on the surrogacy route, and Rob’s sister, Kym, a Melbourne mother of two, volunteered to donate an egg. Kirk would provide the sperm for the in-vitro fertilisation treatment. “Kym knew how important it was for me to have a child,” says Rob, who proudly points out that Sophie has a resemblance to his side of the family. Adds Kirk: “It was an amazing gift to us.” The next challenge was finding a gestational surrogate (a “traditional” surrogate involves the woman’s own egg). While paid surrogacy is illegal in Australia, in the US there are agencies that cate for gay and lesbian couples. Through the Los Angeles agency Growing Generations, Rob and Kirk were put in touch with Sonia, who was implatnted with the fertilised egg (the couple preferred not to disclose what the surrogacy cost, but the price can range from $US115,000 to $US150,000). “We had full involvement during the pregnancy,” says Rob, “and we were at the birth, which was a wonderful experience. When Sophie was born, the doctor handed Sophie to Kirk and I got to cut the cord.”

Being a two-dad family might be different – “At some of the playgroups, you definitely sick out,” says Kirk – but the couple haven’t yet faced any social hurdles. “People are curious because it’s not your average family.” says Kirk. “But everyone has been very positive.”

Sydney couple Kendi and Leigh Burness-Cowan have also had a favourable experience in raising their two children. “I don’t feel there is any difference really between us and other couples with children.” says 32-year old Kendi, a Sydney communications officer who gay birth to both the couple’s children, Hunter, 3, and Hugo, 7 months (the couple use a sperm donor found through a personal ad). “A few people took a while to warm to the idea, but nobody has said anything negative.”

Where problems can arise is in the rights of the parents. THe Burness-Cowans and the Marcolinas “are not legally recognised as couples,” says human-rights commissioner Graeme Innes. “It can have an impact in terms of access to the Medicare safety net, access to various tax provisions and access to leave which might relate to looking after a sick child.”

For Kendi, this hasn’t posed a problem, “apart from crossing out lots of “father’ columns on various forms,” she says. “Where it would be an issue would be if the parents separated and there were custody issues, although the courts consider a child’s ‘best interest.’” And Rob and Kirk say they simply want more acceptance of gay and lesbian families in Australia. “A lot of people say gay people shouldn’t be parents,” says Rob. “What I’d like to say is that when a gay person has a family, they really want that child – they’re the most wanted kids, in a way Sophie has the love of two dads, two loving parents, which is all you can really ask for.”

Herald Sun – " Homosexual mum and dad go to court" by Craig Binnie

September 19th, 2007 No comments

A LESBIAN mother is battling to stop the gay father of her child from having his homosexual lover declared one of the child’s parents.

The Family Court heard this week the mother had been in a relationship with another woman for about 10 years when she asked a gay friend to impregnate her.

The court heard that even though the child’s mother and father lived apart they agreed they would both have a role in the child’s upbringing.

The mother, however, is fighting attempts by the father to have the court recognise his gay lover as the child’s second father.

The court heard allegations that the child’s father was involved in sadomachistic sex and bondage, had an interest in child porn and possessed a magazine containing an article about a father who had sex with his son.

The man denies the claims, which were made by one of his former lovers.

The mother’s lawyer told the court the boy would automatically spend time with his father’s lover when he had access to the child and that there was no need to have him formally noted as a co-parent.

She said the father’s lover was acting out a political agenda by trying to have authorities officially recognise him.

The court was told the father wanted the child to have two fathers and two mothers.

The court was told the only difference to an normal separated couple with new partners would be that the fathers were a couple and the mothers were a couple.

A lawyer appointed by the court to act on behalf of the child told the court the father and his lover had a stable relationship.

He said the child was progressing and developing well and there was no evidence of abuse having taken place.

Whether the father’s lover will succeed in being named as a co-parent will be decided at a trial in November.

[Link: Original Article]

Categories: Co-Parenting, Gay, Lesbian, Sperm Donor Tags:

The Age – "Rainbow Children" by Peter Munro

September 6th, 2007 No comments


When a daddy and a daddy love each other very much … More gays and lesbians are becoming parents, despite the obstacles in their way. Peter Munro reports.

NEXT month Rodney Cruise will become a father for the second time without having had sex with a woman. By then, it will be nine months since his first child, Ethan, was born to a surrogate in the United States, and Cruise and partner Jeff Chiang together cut the umbilical cord. They flew home to Melbourne as a family when Ethan was 11 days old, and three days later Cruise successfully donated his sperm to a lesbian couple who are close friends of theirs and who are now expecting their first child in four weeks.

Cruise, 41, a patent attorney, came out as gay when he was 13, but it is his new role as a father that attracts attention. “We both wanted to be parents and didn’t see our sexuality as being a bar to that; it just complicated things,” he says.

They used a surrogacy agency in California at a total cost of about $150,000, including flights and accommodation and $35,000 for their surrogate Kelly, from Ohio. They plan to return to the US before Christmas to conceive another child by surrogacy.

That child will be Cruise’s third, one of a growing number of babies born of gay and lesbian parents. Victorian families with same-sex de facto partners and at least one child aged 18 or under grew by more than a third in the five years to the 2006 census. Across Australia, there were almost 2400 families with at least one gay or lesbian parent, a jump of about 26 per cent.

If anything, these figures grossly underestimate actual numbers of gay and lesbian families, many of which are not comfortable publicly divulging details of their sexuality. But they offer a good guide to the increasingly pink face of Australian families. The most startling jump in Victoria was in gay families with preschool children, with the number of declared same-sex families with children aged four or under more than doubling to 167.

Dr John McBain, director of Melbourne IVF and head of reproductive services at Royal Women’s Hospital, says there is a growing acceptance of same-sex families in the wider community. “I think the public is much more tolerant now of lesbian couples becoming parents,” he says. “People are far more aware that lesbian couples are loving couples in relationships as stable as heterosexual ones and that they make good parents.”

Shifting public perceptions have also favoured single women wanting to start a family. Surveys show that from 1993 to 2000, the number of people who approved of the use of donor sperm to help single women conceive more than doubled to 38 per cent. Almost a third supported the use of donor sperm by gay couples, compared with only 7 per cent in 1993.

Both groups of women have sought to start families through the Royal Women’s sperm storage bank, where sperm from known donors is screened for communicable diseases and frozen before it is available for self-insemination. Three months ago, the screening facility celebrated its first birth from one of the 15 women to have used the service, McBain says.

Seven years ago, McBain successfully challenged Victoria’s infertility laws on behalf of a 38-year-old animal shelter worker from Box Hill South, who had tried for eight years to conceive but was refused donor sperm because she was single. The 2000 Federal Court decision, upheld on appeal to the High Court, stripped out the requirement that women must be either married or in a solid de facto relationship to access assisted reproductive technology.

But such treatment is still limited in Victoria and South Australia, alone among the states and territories, to women who are medically infertile — effectively barring both lesbian and single women who function fine but don’t plan to test out their fertility with the opposite sex.

Lori, 34, and Libby, 32, a lesbian couple in western Victoria, are among a growing number of women who have had to cross the border to make a baby. In November, they will travel to Albury for their second shot at donor insemination for Libby, a horse midwife, at a clinic that is so busy it has closed its waiting list. Each attempt costs about $1500, not including the cost and inconvenience of having to stay interstate for several nights.

Lori, a part-time teacher at a Catholic primary school, who prefers not to reveal her surname, has a 10-year-old daughter from a former heterosexual relationship. She says that gays and lesbians, like the wider community, have become more accepting of parenthood.

“When I came out eight, nine years ago, there wasn’t a lot of support for lesbian mums. It was more like, ‘Why would you have a kid when you are gay?’ And I found it really hard to fight against that stereotype,” she says. “Now there are a lot more women who are saying that in a few years’ time they would like to have a kid.”

The couple have also advertised online for a donor, who they want to play an “uncle” role with limited contact, on Maybe Baby, one of several social groups for “rainbow families” — a mixture of homosexuals, heterosexuals, bisexuals and transgenders. They have had responses from a gay male who has previously donated sperm to two lesbian couples and a heterosexual man who says he would like to help.

They are not alone in pursuing parenthood online. On one website, a 30-something, non-smoking gay couple want to be co-parents and a 31-year-old lesbian with a nine-year-old son is on the lookout for a donor who is extremely fit, healthy and handsome. A gay couple in Perth want a woman to carry their child. And on the Queensland coast, a male bisexual wants to assist a single woman or lesbian couple, promising to help pay for the child’s rearing.

Other websites include forums with hints on DIY insemination, including the tip that women should avoid hot baths before and after they insert the syringe, and another on what name children should call their gay parents — Mum and Mumma? Dad and Pop?

The Rainbow Families Council, which was established last September, gives gay and lesbian parents the chance to meet offline as well. Felicity Marlowe, who co-ordinates the council’s Love Makes a Family campaign for legal reform, says the growing visibility of same-sex parents has made more gays and lesbians consider having their own children. “Sometimes you think every second person who is queer is having a child,” she says.

“We are seeing lots more requests from child-care centres and primary schools to look at how they can become more inclusive in their policies and their curriculum, because they are seeing more families with two mums or two dads.”

Schools in Melbourne’s inner northern suburbs are particularly inclusive of the children of gay and lesbian families, she says. That might mean simply stocking library books that include same-sex parents among their characters or amending standard letters home to refer to parent/parent rather than mother/father.

It is a long way from the day in 2004 when then acting Prime Minister John Anderson publicly criticised the ABC for a Play School episode showing a young child visiting the zoo with her two mums. The Federal Government is yet to change its tune, with Prime Minister John Howard maintaining this year that having a mother and a father gave children “the best opportunity in life”.

Some sectors of the Australian public also maintain that children need a mother and father, preferably married. A spokeswoman for the Australian Family Association says: “Children need an involved, on the ground, in the house, father and mothe
r. They don’t need other mothers, adopted mothers or other fathers.”

DISCRIMINATION was among the topics discussed at a symposium on same-sex parents for medical practitioners, healthcare workers and researchers at the University of Melbourne in June.

Dr Ruth McNair, a general practitioner specialising in lesbian and women’s health and a senior lecturer in the department of general practice at the university, says prejudice remains a potent issue for many same-sex parents. Men in particular face some opposition both from among the general public and from within the gay community, where they might be tagged with the derogatory term “breeders”.

“They are often faced with comments that lesbians would have got 20 years ago,” McNair says. “Comments like, ‘Why are you selling out to the mainstream, why don’t you just continue the gay lifestyle’.”

Such catcalls are gradually fading, though, says McNair, who is on maternity leave with her four-month-old son, Samuel, whom she parents with her lesbian partner. “There has been a huge change in the community in the past 20 years. If you look at the (Sydney) Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras, the first group are always the Dykes on Bikes, but the second group is now mums with prams.”

In one sense, the debate has moved on, from discussions on the concept of gay and lesbian parents to a focus on their children as they grow older. A US study last year found that the adolescent offspring of same-sex parents did not differ from the children of heterosexual couplings in self-esteem, peer relationships, school adjustment, drug use or sexual experience. The only significant difference was that the teenagers of same-sex parents coped better with prejudice and bullying.

But in another sense, the debate has stayed the same. The Australian Family Association still argues that “there is bucketloads of research” showing that children need a mother and father.

This is despite the findings of the Victorian Law Reform Commission’s final report into assisted reproductive technology and adoption, which was tabled in Parliament in June. The commission made 130 recommendations for updating Victoria’s infertility laws, including that people seeking to undergo treatment or to adopt must not be discriminated against on the basis of their sexual orientation or be excluded on the grounds that they have no partner.

The commission also recommended that Victoria scrap its “clinical infertility” bar to treatment in favour of a simple test of whether a woman, in her circumstances, is unlikely to become pregnant by any other means. Attorney-General Rob Hulls, who has sat on the report for several months, has promised to respond before the end of the year.

Cruise and Chiang first told the story of Ethan’s birth to The Age in April and on the same day they were stopped in the street by a woman who thanked them for showing that her own gay son might one day give her a grandchild. “When I was young, I always wanted to be a parent but I couldn’t see how it could happen. Now there is a sense within the gay community than we can have it too and why should we be denied it,” Cruise says.

“Most parents want to be grandparents one day and we look forward to the day when Ethan, whether gay or straight, becomes a dad as well.”

[Link: Original Article]

The Age – "The Gay Couple"


SARAH Marlowe gave birth to twins Callum and Rafi almost a year ago. Being clinically infertile, she was legally able to use IVF in Victoria.

Now her partner Felicity wants to have a baby. But the “problem” is that Felicity does not have a fertility problem,

which means she cannot legally access these services in this state.

Instead of going to the expense of travelling to a more permissive state, Felicity intends to use the sperm of a known donor and inseminate herself at home.

It’s not ideal, and she would prefer to be inseminated by a doctor at a clinic. The couple see a clinic as her best chance of getting pregnant, but legally she can’t do that unless the Government adopts the Victorian Law Reform Commission’s recommendations.

The pair say a bigger problem is the lack of legal recognition for Felicity as the twins’ legal parent. Under current laws only the biological mother can be on the birth certificate.

They welcomed yesterday’s recommendations giving both parents legal recognition. Felicity, speaking on behalf of the Rainbow Families Council, said the report reflected the reality

of diverse families. “At the moment it’s still in the climate of uncertainty and we’d love there to be some legal certainty as soon as possible.”

[Link: Original Article]

Northcote Leader – "Gay parents' parity plea"

LESBIANS across Darebin have made a desperate plea for the legal recognition of non-biological parents .

Their personal stories are included in a Victorian Law Reform Commission submission made to Attorney-General Rob Hulls last month.

Mr Hulls has until June 20 to table the report on Assisted Reproductive Technology and Adoption.

In its draft submissions, the commission recommends that the law be changed to recognise the birth mother’s female partner as a parent of the child. It also recommends same-sex couples have equal access to the technology and be legally entitled to engage surrogate mothers.

Women’s Health in the North deputy chair Susan Rennie said the organisation broadly supported the interim recommendations.

“Law reform will be beneficial to children born in these (same-sex) relationships because it will mean, at least from a legal point of view, that their families will cease to be considered differently to other families in the community,” she said.

Ms Rennie, a lesbian in a relationship with two children, said women did not seek medical help for fear of breaking the laws.

“If a woman thinks she is breaking the law by self-inseminating she might not consult her doctor and may be less inclined to ask a donor to undertake appropriate medical tests,” she said.

Preston couple Felicity and Sarah Marlowe were so concerned by the implication of the law that they started a lobby group, Love Makes a Family, in 2004.

“We started a campaign to mobilise the community around law reform; seeking legal and social recognition of rainbow families,” Felicity said.

They now have 170 members on their email list and have made a formal submission to the commission also broadly supporting the recommendations.

Other locals who made submissions include Northcote couple Vivien Ray and Robin Gregory; parents of a teenage daughter conceived by donor insemination.

“It would make a great difference to us if the non-biological parent could do a second parent adoption,” they said. “It would be such a relief after all these years to be legally recognised.”

Preston’s Sabdha Charlton says her partner Cristina Pink is six months pregnant with their first child. They feel strongly that the law should not differentiate between hetero and homosexual couples.

* Should same-sex couples be given the same legal rights as hetero couples? Write to the editor at www.northcoteleader.com.au

The Age – "Making babies for all" by Carol Nadar


TO MAKE their first baby, Anna Russell and Sacha Petersen drove 3½ hours to cross the NSW border to Albury. Petersen lay on a table, and a nurse inseminated her with a donor’s sperm. Ten minutes later, what the couple call the “spermination” was complete. Blue-eyed baby Mabel was born 17 months ago.

Now Russell and Petersen are trying for a second child. The first donor is unavailable and the Albury clinic — traditionally the place where Victorian lesbians and single women go for fertility treatment — has all but run out of sperm donors. So the couple have shifted their hopes to Tasmania. Each month they fly to Launceston and leave Mabel with family there. Then they drive to Hobart, where Petersen receives treatment. They drive back to Launceston, pick up Mabel, and fly back to Melbourne. The couple have gone through this ritual five times, costing them about $5000 in airfares and treatment. But Petersen hasn’t fallen pregnant.

If their sixth attempt in May fails, Petersen can be declared “medically infertile” — that means that under Victoria’s labyrinthine laws governing reproductive treatment, she can receive IVF treatment in her own state for the first time.

“There’s no logic behind it that we can see,” Russell says. “The Federal Government is handing out money for straight people to have babies left, right and centre. The famous quote (by Treasurer Peter Costello) ‘one for you, one for your partner, and one for Australia’. You have a whole community wanting to do that.”

There is another anomaly. Victorian reproductive laws are the most restrictive in the country mainly because it was the most progressive state for infertility treatment in the early years. Victoria was one of the first places in the world to offer IVF, in which embryos are created using a woman’s eggs and a man’s sperm then implanted into the woman. It was the first Australian state to legislate in 1984 when IVF was so new and so controversial that it was strictly controlled. The sole purpose of IVF then was to help infertile married couples have biological children.

The medical technology has always bumped up against community unease. Even de facto heterosexual couples were banned from using it until a decade ago and, although attitudes towards lesbians and single women having children have changed dramatically in a generation, such people remain excluded unless they are clinically infertile.

Soon, that might change. The Victorian Law Reform Commission has spent more than four years reviewing the state’s fertility legislation. Yesterday, it handed its final report to Attorney-General Rob Hulls, and its recommendations will be made public in coming weeks. In a draft report released in 2005, the commission indicated it would recommend that lesbian couples and single women be given the same access to fertility treatment as women in heterosexual relationships. That would have been unthinkable 20 years ago, when the notion of “social infertility” was unheard of.

Despite the rapidly changing definition of “family”, the debate about whether Victoria should, like most other states, make it easier for single women and lesbians to have children is likely to be emotional and intense. In a sign of the discomfort the issue arouses, the Bracks Government has so far avoided making its position clear.

What is clear is that the impact of the restrictions has been profound for Victorian women desperate for a child who have been forced to travel around the country for treatment. The phenomenon even has a name — “reproductive tourism”. Last year, the Albury clinic treated 44 women, of whom 30 were from Victoria. Thirteen were lesbians, 19 were single and eight were married. Victorian women also travel regularly to Canberra, Sydney, Hobart and Brisbane.

Those wanting change see the law as a mishmash of contradictions. For instance, for lesbians and single women, infertility can be a cause for celebration — they can have IVF treatment in Victoria. But fertile single women or lesbians, who do not have a male partner or who are unwilling to sleep with a man solely for the purpose of becoming pregnant, do not have access to reproductive help.

The anomaly is due to a court case six years ago. A single woman who could not conceive for medical reasons, Leesa Meldrum, and her doctor, Melbourne IVF director Dr John McBain, tested a ban on single women using IVF in the Federal Court. The court upheld their argument that state legislation contravened the federal Sex Discrimination Act. Since then, women can no longer be excluded based on marital status. But they still need to meet the requirement of infertility.

So women who are fertile have to be creative. They either ask a friend to provide the sperm and inseminate themselves at home, a practice some worry is unsafe. Or they travel interstate.

In the aftermath of the McBain case, Hulls asked the Law Reform Commission in 2002 to review the legislation. Its interim recommendations urged the Government to remove the infertility requirement and allow access for women who are “unlikely” to become pregnant without treatment. That would cover all women without a male partner.

The commission argued the law was unfair because it was applied unevenly — a single woman with a genetic abnormality that could be passed onto her child is eligible for treatment. A single woman of 45 may be eligible for treatment because her age has made her clinically infertile. But a single woman aged 35 who does not have clinical infertility cannot be treated. These distinctions, the report noted, “make no sense”. Nor did it believe that the marital status of a child’s parents was linked to the child’s health and welfare.

One heterosexual woman who spoke to The Age first explored the idea of having a baby when she was 40 but was ineligible because she was single. She is now 43 and pregnant, but only because tests proved she was medically infertile. Instead of celebrating her pregnancy, she lives in fear that she is going to have another miscarriage — her first pregnancy ended in miscarriage late last year. “I’ve been waiting for this all my life and then it’s not the journey it should have been,” she says. “I want to celebrate it, but you’re scared all the time. Your chances of doing it earlier are easier. You shouldn’t have to wait until you’re infertile and you have 50 million obstacles in front of you.”

There are other quirks caused by galloping technology. If a woman can find her own sperm donor, the Melbourne IVF clinic will screen and store the sperm for six months to make sure it is safe. She can then take it home and inseminate herself. The clinic can do all the tests but not the insemination. The aim is to reduce a woman’s vulnerability to HIV.

Alice Murray and her partner are trying to have a baby using this program. “Both my partner and I work full time and going to Sydney when you’re ovulating, which might be mid-week, is impractical from a work perspective,” she says. “If you’re working in a professional environment you can’t just drop everything and leave.”

The law may change to allow women to be inseminated in a clinic. But even if they could, some women might still choose to do it at home.

Dr Ruth McNair, a Melbourne University senior lecturer in general practice and a GP who specialises in gay and lesbian health, believes self-insemination is relatively safe. She says some women prefer the autonomy of doing it themselves. And some like the idea of giving gay men the opportunity of being parents, too. But if it isn’t clear where they all stand — or if feelings change after the birth — it can
lead to problems later.

“The most fraught part of it is the medical risk of transmitting infection, and secondly the legal risk if they haven’t managed to make an adequate written negotiated contract,” McNair says.

Dr Deb Dempsey, a lecturer in sociology at Swinburne University, says the law needs to catch up with the complexity of people’s relationships. “Children deserve to be well supported and have legal recognition for the people that are actually parenting them,” she says.

Opponents of lesbians and single women having access to IVF argue that children are better off being part of a traditional family. In the storm following the McBain case, Prime Minister John Howard said: “Children are entitled to the opportunity of both a mother and a father.” His views were echoed by State Opposition Leader Ted Baillieu, who said in the lead-up to the November state election: “My view is that IVF ought to be for heterosexual couples.”

When the Law Reform Commission released its interim report, Health Minister Tony Abbott blasted its “apparent dismissal of the traditional notion that children should ideally have male and female parents”.

Australian Family Association spokeswoman Angela Conway says the priority should be the rights of the child. “Children do best in the context of family life, where their natural mother and father are involved in their day-to-day life and upbringing as their recognised parents, and preferably where that natural mother and father are married,” she says.

But the Law Reform Commission has reviewed the literature and does not believe this is the case. It says there is sound evidence that children born into families with non-biological parents or same-sex parents do at least as well as other children.

According to social researchers, there is scant evidence that children who are not raised by a father and mother in a traditional way are worse off than children who are.

Sarah Wise, the principal research fellow in children and parenting at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, says the research, predominantly from the United States, does not suggest that children’s wellbeing is at risk. Whether they’re raised by one parent or two, a heterosexual couple or a gay one, is less important than the quality of care,” she says.

“What matters most to children is the environment in which they grow up, the quality of the interactions they have with their care-givers and the security that they feel within those relationships.”

What may be harmful to children is the lack of legal recognition given to the non-birth mother in a lesbian relationship. The non-biological, or “social” mother, does not have the right to be on the child’s birth certificate and is not recognised as the legal parent in Victoria.

However, in another anomaly, if a heterosexual couple uses donor sperm to have a child, the woman’s male partner is on the birth certificate.

The Law Reform Commission has suggested the non-birth mother deserves legal recognition and should appear on the birth certificate alongside the birth mother. Acting chairman Dr Iain Ross says if the birth mother dies , there is legal ambiguity about the rights and obligations of the surviving partner and it would be possible that the child could become a ward of the state. Then there are issues to do with inheritance and being able to consent to medical treatment and sign school forms.

“At worst, you’ve got a position where someone who was for all intents and purposes the parent of the children does not have any legal rights,” Ross says. “They’re not recognised as the parent and would have to seek some sort of legal intervention.”

Robyn Hamilton and Helen Grutzner want this legal recognition. They have a four-year-old daughter, Harper, who was conceived in a Sydney clinic. They believe the non-birth mother, Hamilton, should automatically be considered a legal parent from birth. Their only recourse was to go to the Family Court to get a parenting order that gives her limited recognition of responsibility but doesn’t give her legal status as a parent.

Anyone can apply for such an order — a grandparent, relative, even a friend. The order enables non-biological mothers to make some day-to-day decisions. But if anything were to happen to Grutzner, Hamilton would not necessarily get custody of Harper. That would depend on the good will of the court.

“It has an undermining impact on us as a family, in that we don’t have that legal recognition and protection that other families do,” says Grutzner.

Felicity and Sarah Marlowe are in a similar position, although they have not yet applied for a parenting order. Sarah Marlowe is medically infertile and can legally have IVF in Victoria. Her partner can’t. Marlowe had twins Callum and Rafi, who are nine months old. As the birth mother, only her name is on the birth certificates. Even though the couple went through the process of having children together, Felicity Marlowe has no legal rights. She could walk away from the relationship and not be obligated to pay child support. If Sarah Marlowe ended the relationship, her partner may never see the twins again.

Meanwhile, for the women who are still trying to have a baby, the frustration and sense of grievance lingers. “We have a good house in the suburbs,” says Alice Murray.

“We can afford to send our kids to good schools, we earn good money, we’re in the best position to be parents, we want it more than a lot of people and there are roadblocks in the way.”

Anna Russell and Sacha Petersen are creating story books for their children to explain how they were conceived. They’ve made one for Mabel, detailing how the couple met, fell in love and knew they wanted to have babies together.

But, the story goes, to have babies, you need an egg and sperm — but “mum” and “muma” are both girls who only have eggs. So they got into their little blue car and drove to a place called Albury, where a kind man supplied the sperm.

Mabel will know her story from the start. But more importantly, says Russell: “Our children will know that they’re the most wanted children, because we had to go all over Australia to create them.”

Carol Nader is The Age health editor.

[Link: Original Article]

Family Court of Australia – R & J and Anor [2006] FamCA 1398

December 12th, 2006 No comments


FAMILY LAW – CHILDREN – Application by father as donor for contact to child born of artificial insemination – Child living with mother and co- parent in same-sex union – Bitterly contested applications resolved with defining of “family” and role of the donor in these circumstances – Observations made concerning status of known sperm donor and impact upon children of enduring conflict between parents – Order for costs in favour of the Independent Children’s Lawyer refused.

[Link: Court Decision]

The Age – "Our state's moral sidestep" by Carol Nadar

November 11th, 2006 No comments

IN THE old city watchhouse, a group of people converged one night last month to talk about abortion. Invitations went out to every member of State Parliament. Some did not respond. Some sent excuses. Only one turned up.

The forum was organised by Reproductive Choice Australia, a group lobbying the political parties to decriminalise abortion. The trouble is that right now in Victoria, two weeks away from an election, politicians don’t much want to talk about tricky, sensitive issues such as abortion.

Apart from two Greens candidates, the one sitting member of Parliament who did attend was retiring Labor MP Carolyn Hirsh — who only months ago was considering moving a private member’s bill to remove abortion from the Crimes Act. Her attempts were soon shut down by Premier Steve Bracks’ spin doctors.

Abortion is just one of the moral issues that politicians have been avoiding, and that Bracks has deferred making decisions on, in the lead-up to the election.

Bracks and Opposition Leader Ted Baillieu have told voters what they intend to do about stamp duty, hospitals, schools and transport. But when Victorians cast their vote on November 25, they will be uncertain about whether a Bracks or Baillieu government would decriminalise abortion, make IVF available to single women and lesbians or remove the barriers that make surrogacy virtually impossible in this state. The Greens are the only party willing to show their hand on abortion, declaring it should be decriminalised.

While Victoria has been leading the push in some ethically fraught areas such as stem cell research, it remains one of the most conservative states when it comes to regulation of women’s reproductivity. Despite being widely available, abortion remains technically part of the Crimes Act — even though the state Labor Party has decriminalisation as part of its policy platform. And when it comes to issues such as IVF and, recently and publicly, surrogacy, Victoria is far behind NSW.

Lesbians for years have been crossing the border to Albury to fulfil their dream of having a baby. And this week, Labor senator Stephen Conroy revealed that he and his wife, who could not conceive naturally, had left their home state of Victoria to organise for a friend to be their surrogate. The baby was conceived using Conroy’s sperm and another woman’s eggs and the resulting embryo was implanted into the surrogate.

Surrogacy can help women who have a damaged uterus or can’t manage a pregnancy for health reasons. But in Victoria, the law makes it so difficult as to be nearly impossible for couples to enter surrogacy arrangements. Victorian law requires the surrogate herself to be infertile. NSW has no such restrictions.

Many gay Australian men now head to the US, where surrogacy is big business, spending sometimes tens of thousands of dollars to produce a baby.

State Opposition Leader Ted Baillieu this week called for a uniform national approach to surrogacy laws, and said the “state hopping” needed to end. Bracks — along with Health Minister Bronwyn Pike and Opposition health spokeswoman Helen Shardey — will only say he is waiting for a final report by the Victorian Law Reform Commission, which is investigating the issue. The commission has already released draft recommendations describing the law as “irrational” and urging the Government to clarify it. It is not due to table its final report in Parliament until early next year.

The commission has also released a draft report on access to IVF, recommending that single women and lesbians should be granted access to fertility treatment, regardless of whether or not they are medically infertile. Victorian laws now restrict most fertile women from this treatment. While Pike says, rather vaguely, that she is in favour of “equal opportunity legislation”, the Government has repeatedly refused to comment on IVF access, again using the final report’s completion as an excuse.

Baillieu says he believes IVF should be solely between a man and a woman, although he hasn’t said whether those views would hinder a debate on the issue if he were premier.

Victoria was one of the first places in the world to introduce IVF technology and was quick to legislate. As a result though, regulation in Victoria is more restrictive than in other jurisdictions such as NSW and the ACT.

Monash University senior lecture in politics Nick Economou does not believe moral issues are a vote swinger. They’re issues that tend to be of concern to a small but noisy minority.

“State politics revolves around financial management, major programs, infrastructure. This stuff about morality politics is the preoccupation of the people actually getting into Parliament.

“This is not a matter that so much has the potential to cause big problems in the electorate,” he says. “It’s something that has the potential to cause big problems in the major parties.”

When Pike, who is pro-choice, controversially decided to impose 48-hour cooling-off periods for women seeking late-term abortions last year, the backlash from pro-choice politicians within her own party was swift and fierce. Women in her own party openly criticised her. She was quickly forced to retreat. No one within Labor would want to make a similar mistake now.

“There is great potential for these sorts of morality issues to divide parliamentary parties,” Economou says. “You don’t have to have a large number of people prepared to depart from their colleagues to cause a problem. This is the reason why we’re seeing an increase in conscience voting in the Federal Parliament, because (Prime Minister John) Howard has exactly the same problem. His party has a division between hardline social conservatives and small “l” liberals.”

But whether politicians like it or not, these ethically fraught issues won’t go away. The fact that there have been two conscience votes in Federal Parliament this year — on the abortion drug RU486 and stem cells — demonstrates that.

Many quietly suspect that Bracks will allow a conscience vote on decriminalising abortion after November 25, although he hasn’t said this.

Medical ethicist Leslie Cannold, a member of Reproductive Choice Australia, believes that by not telling people what his intentions are, Bracks is going for the lowest risk option. As she puts it, he is essentially saying, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Economou says if Bracks and Baillieu make it clear where they stand on issues, it would strengthen their position if they end up governing. “Sometimes the government hand is made stronger in policy debates if they raise issues in an election campaign and then they can claim a mandate for them,” he says.

When ACT politician Wayne Berry flagged his intention during an election campaign to put up a private member’s bill in the territory to decriminalise abortion in 2001, he found it actually helped him get re-elected. Despite being targeted by the right-to-life lobby, he says he earned the respect of his constituents by telling them what his plans were. “Overwhelmingly, my experience has been that people in the community oppose criminal sanctions for abortion,” he says. His bill passed in 2002.

The ACT remains the only region where abortion has been fully decriminalised, although each state has provisions for the procedure to be performed if the mother’s mental or physical health is at risk.

Carolyn Hirsh is still hopeful that what she started might be accomplished. “I’m hoping that both parties after the election will act on these very important issues.”

In Victoria, the Government has managed, if anything, to unite the warring parties in the abortion debate in their frustration at its non-stance. “If they were proud of what their intentions were, they would tell us,” says Denise Cameron, president of Pro-Life Victoria, a member of the Coalition Against the Decriminalisation of Abortion. “Wh
y the reticence? Why the coyness?”

The pro-life lobby have been taking their anti-decriminalisation message to the steps of Parliament, dropping leaflets in letterboxes in several electorates — including those of Bracks and Attorney-General Rob Hulls — and taking out huge advertisements in newspapers.

Leslie Cannold says she just wants the parties to be frank about what they are offering.

“The question is not how do you personally feel in your heart of hearts. The question is if you have power, what would you do on this issue?” she says. “That’s what I think voters are entitled to know, on the abortion issue and on every issue.”
ABORTION: THE LAWS

VICTORIA Can be done under Menhennitt ruling if risk to woman’s physical or mental health.

ACT In the Health Act, cooling off period 72 hours after counselling.

NSW Lawful if there is danger to a woman’s physical or mental health.

QLD Lawful if for the preservation of the woman’s life.

SA Must be approved by two doctors, unless it is necessary for woman’s health or to save her life.

WA Doctor can be guilty of an offence unless abortion is performed in good faith and with reasonable care and justified so that woman has freely given informed consent or has social, personal or medical reasons.

NT Up to 14 weeks permitted on grounds of maternal health or foetal disability.

TASMANIA Two doctors must certify that the pregnancy would risk the woman’s health.

SOURCE: ABORTION AND THE LAW IN AUSTRALIA,

AUSTRALIAN FAMILY PHYSICIAN, NOVEMBER 2006

Carol Nader is The Age’s health reporter.

[Link: Original Article]

Categories: Co-Parenting, Lesbian, Sperm Donor, Surrogacy Tags:

ABC TV – Australian Story – "Fathers' Day"

Over the last ten years Australian Story has featured many families of all sorts of background and make-up, but probably none as challenging as the extended household viewers will meet on Monday night.

When Paul Van Reyk set out to have a child more than 20 years ago, he was trying to make a political statement. He says: “It seemed wrong to me that gay men and women were excluded from having children.”

So when a single, straight friend wanted to have a child, he agreed to marry her – ‘to give the child legal protection’ – but with no intention of helping to raise the child, a daughter, Mary. One thing led to another; other friends, straight and gay sought his help, and now Paul Van Reyk has six children with five different mothers – all part of one big extended family with Van Reyk at the centre. He suspects, there may be another half dozen children out there somewhere.

Paul Van Reyk broke the news of his fecundity to his own parents on Fathers Day 2003. They knew about Mary, but not the other children. Paul Van Reyk says: “I said Dad, I’ve got a special present. I brought out the pictures of all the other kids and I just put them across the table and said ‘these are your other grandchildren’.
He was stunned but he just kept grinning…”

CAROLINE JONES, PRESENTER: Hello, I’m Caroline Jones. Tonight, a story likely to provoke strong feelings and intense discussion. At its heart, the issue of family and concepts of fatherhood and paternal responsibility. It’s an area where science and social change are combining to present new challenges. When Sydney man Paul Van Reyk set out to become a parent more than 20 years ago, his intention was to make a political statement and to embark on a social experiment. Against all expectations, Paul Van Reyk has ended up at the centre of a large family. But probably not the model of ‘family’ Peter Costello had in mind when he recommended “One child for Mum, one for Dad and one for the country.” This is Paul Van Reyk’s story.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: Cooking is a vital part of Daddy Paul’s life. I’ve never remembered a time when he hasn’t been working on some new recipe or ingredient that he’s discovered that’s just going to blow us all away. And he absolutely loves it. So, it’s a really vital part of his life. And I think he enjoys catering because he loves getting people together for a big meal and a cook-up and that’s basically what catering is to him.

RAJ WAKELING, SON: He’ll usually do a big cook-up ’cause he’s just famous for doing that for pretty much all the events he holds here. And as many of us that can make it will come along, all the extended family will come on down and kind of just spend the afternoon together, exchange gifts and, yeah, I guess just come together and just show our appreciation for him and for what he’s done for us all.

PAUL VAN REYK: Father’s Day, for me, is usually a lot of hard work because, mostly, it’s Father’s Day at my place and mostly it means “Dad’s going to cook for all of us.” I think when I was growing up, Father’s Day wasn’t that important, it was just something you had to kind of do. But now that I’m a dad, um, yeah, Father’s Day is a pretty special time. It’s a time when we’re all kind of there.

DAVID VAN REYK, BROTHER: I’m Paul’s brother. I’m married myself and I’ve got kids. I would describe the sort of big part of Paul’s family as a hoot because it’s different to a lot of other people’s experience. So, there’s the novelty of it. But, also, it’s an enjoyable experience. My own nuclear family is quite conventional and quite simple. So there’s that aspect, as well, knowing that there’s sort of an intricacy about Paul’s family.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: I’ve always been aware that my family situation was different to everyone else’s. I never had an idea of a set nuclear family. I always thought that everyone’s family was their own unique mishmash.

RAJ WAKELING, SON: There’s just so many different types of families out there that to have this definition of a ‘nuclear family’ of this perfect situation, this ‘right way’ of doing things is just – I think it’s laughable because there’s so many other successful ways to raise a kid today.

PAUL VAN REYK: I don’t think gay men are anti-kid. I don’t think that they’re gay because they don’t like children or don’t want to have children. I’ve never had a negative reaction from a gay man to my being a father, a parent. I’ve had jealousy, I’ve had surprise. I’ve had intrigue, curiosity. I’ve never had anybody go, “Ugh! How could you?” Never that response. Is it the sexuality that matters or is it the quality of the relationship with that child, you know? There are some pretty awful heterosexual fathers and we know that.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: He has terrible taste in clothes as a drag queen. Really bad. At the Mardi Gras, the Dolly Parton float, he had this horrible brown-gold number and he had tried it on before but he’d forgotten, as Dolly Parton, he has assets and when he added those assets, he couldn’t actually do up the back of the dress because it didn’t fit them in.

PAUL VAN REYK: In a way, we are John Howard’s worst nightmare. We have the values that he would, I think, espouse families ought to have, but we have nothing like the restrictive structure he wants to place on the idea of ‘family’. My family were from Sri Lanka. In the late 1950s, Sri Lanka was becoming politically unstable. They decided to seek a new life and move to Australia in 1962. A few weeks after I arrived, I had my 10th birthday. I used to collect pictures of guys from TV. I wanted to hang around with the good-looking, strong guys at school. The coming-out process itself took a long time, took a couple of years, and certainly wasn’t easy. I actually had a nervous breakdown over it and it was at that stage that I recognised that I had to do something about the fact that I was a gay man. ‘Cause otherwise I was going to, yes, spin out very, very badly. When I came out, one of my first things to do was to become a political activist in the gay movement. And I started organising a national conference. And being an outspoken kind of a person, I knew I would be, inevitably, on the media and I had to say to folks, “Hey, guess what? This is happening and any day now, you might see me as a gay man splashed across the papers, so you need to know I’m gay.”

DAVID VAN REYK, BROTHER: I think, coming from the background that they did, they were quite distressed, initially. I guess their fear was for things like Paul would be punished in some ways – like, in terms of, like, I guess, going to hell or something like that.

PAUL VAN REYK: As a gay activist, I’d always campaigned against the traditional, conservative, patriarchal family. It seemed wrong to me that gay men and lesbian women were excluded from having children. When I was at university, I had a friend called Diane, who was straight. Years later, when she wanted to have a child, she asked if I would be the father. I didn’t want to have a child. I had no thoughts of having children. But here was a very close friend of mine who wanted a child and she wanted it with me. It would seem a natural thing to say, “Sure, why not?” When I got married to Diane, it wasn’t to form any sort of relationship. And we weren’t going to live together or raise a child together. It was to give the child legal protection.

MARGARET BAIL, FAMILY FRIEND: If you’re going to be announcing that you have a child, people are going to ask questions. So I think it made it, in some ways, easier and put a kind of so-called ‘normal’ framework around a slightly different arrangement.

PAUL VAN REYK: And I remember very clearly the minute Mary was born, looking down at this child. Diane held her once, said, “Paul, I’m going to sleep. You look after her.” And I then sat with Mary for the first hours of her life.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: I can’t remember not knowing that Paul was my biological dad. Our relationshi
p is… I can’t describe it. Our relationship is…it’s been – it changes over the years. Like, when I was little, you know, he was… he got to spoil me a lot. Take me overseas and when I came to the city, it would be a big event.

PAUL VAN REYK: Mary grew up with her mother, Diane. But I’ve always had a lot of contact with Mary. Over the years, she’s stayed with me often and we’ve formed a very strong bond. I think the relationship I have with Mary is a combination of father and uncle and friend. I think it’s a very warm relationship. I absolutely adore her and I’d walk a mile of hot coals for her. I find it surprising the times that I get jealous when other people have her time and I don’t. We enjoy a lot of the same kind of music. We enjoy the same kinds of movies. We…I think we communicate really well together. I have a son called Raj. He’s my second child. He loves being on stage. He’s a real rock god. Raj’s situation was different to Mary’s. While Mary’s mother was straight, Raj was brought up by a lesbian couple who were friends of mine.

RAJ WAKELING, SON: They were a couple and they raised me together as two mothers. And I was probably one of the earliest children to be raised in that situation.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: Raj is the brother who’s closest to me in age. We’re only a few months apart. So we’re kind of the big bosses of the siblings. And Raj is like a really great friend.

RAJ WAKELING, SON: The band’s called Drop Drive. And we play a kind of mixture of heavy styles. Like, a bit of metal, a bit of hardcore, a bit of punk rock. I’m the singer of the band and for me, there’s no question, that’s just what I have to do in a band. It’s just my calling. Paul and Mary are probably the most diehard Drop Drive fans there are, actually. They came to all our early gigs and they’ve always been really, really supportive, which has been great.

PAUL VAN REYK: Look, I’m a performer myself. I’ve had a stint of acting, I’ve had a stint of singing, publicly. And I get thrilled by seeing a son of mine also doing this kind of performance.

RAJ WAKELING, SON: My mothers can’t be in the story for a couple of reasons. One being that I do have a younger brother. He’s still in high school and, as was the case for me, it’s just not easy to be open about that. You leave yourself wide open to all sorts of criticism and aggression and bullying. When I was at school, I knew that I had to keep the situation private from my friends. I knew that I couldn’t really talk about it openly with them. Once they realised what I meant, it would probably just be met with anger and aggression. And I was made aware of that, by my parents, early on and they did warn me to watch what I said and to keep a certain level of secretism. Just to keep it private. I guess all any child really wants, growing up, is love and care and understanding. And I think that can be provided from anyone that is close to you and spends that much time with you and that takes on that responsibility of being a parent.

BRONWYN LEECE, FRIEND: I’d always wanted to have children. I always imagined that I would have a few children. I’d hit 35 and wasn’t in a relationship and obviously hadn’t had a child. So, rather than face the situation then, I worked overseas for a couple of years as a volunteer in India doing HIV education. When I returned, some more time passed and I reached 40 and realised that I couldn’t postpone it any longer and that I needed to face the situation of having a child on my own. I knew that the process wouldn’t be simple and it wouldn’t be quick. I needed to look around and see about going to a donor insemination clinic. It was just like going to a doctor’s surgery, really, and spoke to the doctor and he discussed what my options were as a single woman. Some of the sperm donors had actually stipulated at the time of their donation that they had a preference to not give their sperm to single women or to lesbian couples. As I looked into the process and thought more about it, it was important to me that I find a donor who would be known to my child.

PAUL VAN REYK: I’d known Bronwyn for a couple of years through health work and also her interest in India and Sri Lanka. And we’d grown to be quite good friends. I visited her when she was in India, for example. Bronwyn’s a very strong woman. A very capable woman. She was a really good friend. A friend who I thought would make a damn good mother. And who ought to have the child that she wanted. And that’s what that was about. It wasn’t about making a point about single mothers.

BRONWYN LEECE, FRIEND: I was overwhelmed by his offer. It was so generous, and so unexpected.

PAUL VAN REYK: Donoring is simply the act of a male, in some way, making his sperm available to a woman who wants to have a child. Oh, it’s hilarious. I mean, donoring can be very, very funny. Um, I would not be the first donor who has looked at how much sperm he has managed to ejaculate and thought, “That ain’t going to be enough.” So, I donored to Bronwyn and she has a child called Arlo.

BRONWYN LEECE, FRIEND: After my son Arlo was born, Paul and Mary came to the hospital the next day to see him. It’s really because of Paul’s generosity that I’ve been able to have Arlo and that has been a wonderful gift. It’s been immensely generous and an unimaginable experience, I think, for me until I had Arlo. He’s brought a huge amount of joy into my life and I know into the lives of a lot of other people as well.

JENNI MILLBANK, SYDNEY UNI, LAW FACULTY: I guess what’s unusual about Paul Van Reyk is that he was donating to single women and lesbian families 20 and 25 years ago. So he was really at the forefront of a movement where same sex families now are much more common than they were then. And parenting aspirations were much less culturally acceptable for lesbians and gay men then than they are now.

PAUL VAN REYK: With Bronwyn, the agreement was similar to that with Raj’s mum. She was basically going to be the full-time carer, the provider, the financial support. I was there as the father figure.

BROWNWYN LEECE, FRIEND: He was very clear that it was not going to be a financial commitment of any kind, and I certainly wasn’t seeking that. I was seeking a donor and that was the extent of it.

JENNI MILLBANK, SYDNEY UNI. LAW FACULTY: To date, the family court has held that sperm donors are not parents. But there have been a couple of judges in some cases who’ve suggested that they would quite like to find that known donors are parents under the act. And they’ve suggested that they have the power to do so, regardless of what the State law is. So, if you did have a decision that a sperm donor was a parent, um, I think you would have room for a great deal more conflict, because someone who wasn’t intended to be a parent would then be able to make decisions about health, welfare, where the children lived and so on. And that is usually not the basis upon which, um, the…the…parents have agreed to form a family together.

PAUL VAN REYK: I can understand that some donors might want formal agreements with the mothers to cover future problems, like, maybe maintenance payments. But I’ve never worried about that. I basically trust the verbal agreements I’ve got with the mothers. But if I was ever asked, I’d accept my responsibility. I chose to have the kids and I should be prepared to act accordingly. I’m quite open and comfortable with the fact that I have a better deal than a live-in parent. I don’t have the anxiety, I don’t have the workload. I don’t have the terror, the pain. Any of that. And that’s fine. My parents have always known about Mary. They knew from the start that I was having a child with Diane and that we’d got married, and for all of Mary’s life, they have been her grandparents.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: I did know my grandmother. I used to stay at her house a fair bit when I was younger, which was a bit funny because I couldn’t mention Raj or any of the other kids, so that was… I
remember Dad explaining that to me. You know, I thought it was a bit exciting because I was a little kid, you know, having secrets, you know. Yeah, I think it was on Fathers Day, Dad told them all.

PAUL VAN REYK: My parents only knew that I had Mary as my child. But a couple of years ago I told them that I, in fact, had five other children. All up, I have six children with five mothers.

MARGARET BAIL, FAMILY FRIEND: When he decided that it was time that he let them know about the other children, everyone was quite nervous and wondered how they’d take it.

PAUL VAN REYK: And I said, “And, Dad, I’ve got a special present for you.” And I reached into my pocket and I brought out the pictures of all the other kids and I just put them across the table and I said, “These are your other grandchildren.” Oh, man. And he just beamed, he just absolutely beamed. He was stunned, but just kept grinning.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: Yeah, I think they were quite surprised because, you know, Daddy Paul being gay, they thought, you know, I was a bit of a one-off but having another five was pretty unbelievable.

BRONWYN LEECE, FAMILY FRIEND: I’ve got quite a small biological family and a larger family of friends. It’s been a real bonus for Arlo and I to be swept up into this much larger sense of community and part of a big, extended family who we see fairly regularly.

PAUL VAN REYK: Gee, when I first started with Mary I had no knowledge that here at 53 I was going to end up with this complex series of relationships with a number of kids and mothers and their partners and whatever. About a year and a half ago I had a call from another lesbian friend of mine saying, “Oh, look, would you consider donating?” And I started asking the other mums, because I figured I have to ask them now, would it be OK. And they said, “Oh, it’s up to you. Do what you like.” I asked Mary and she said, “No.”

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: And I told him that I didn’t want to have any more brothers or sisters because I felt like that I was, it sounds funny, but that I was getting too old to have any more brothers or sisters.

PAUL VAN REYK: I said, “What do you mean ‘no’?” She said, “I cannot handle the thought that you…that I would be 21 and you would have a baby. So, please, no.” Um, and I accepted that and said no. I absolutely understood that I have to make these choices now in relation to people who get more impacted by the choices that I make.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: Donoring isn’t just about the parents and the donor. It’s also about the other people who are in the family and how…because we’re such a close family and we do see each other all the time, how bringing a new person into it is going to affect everyone else in the relationship.

RAJ WAKELING, SON: We kind of wonder if it’s going to get a bit hard to keep track of all these kids at some stage. Ah, yeah I mean, we laugh about it, but at the end of the day we are family and we definitely want to maintain those close bonds.

PAUL VAN REYK: I think people may make assumptions that the children of lesbians and gay men are either, inevitably, are going to be forced to be gay and lesbians themselves. My two eldest kids, Mary and Raj, are heterosexual. Do I care? Not in the least. Whoever they love is who they love.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: I’m heterosexual and I have a very nice boyfriend.

RAJ WAKELING, SON: Some people might assume that because I have lesbian mothers and a gay dad that I would turn out to be gay, but the truth of the matter is, I’m heterosexual. And I’m 100% confident in that.

PAUL VAN REYK: After I had made the first donations to Raj’s mum, I was approached by other lesbians who knew that I was prepared to donate. It’s possible that I have other children out there because I have donated to other lesbians where part of the deal was that I would not know if they did conceive a child. It’s possible that I could have up to another six children somewhere. So, I would have a dozen children all up.

MARY VAN REYK, DAUGHTER: If my dad has donored other children that we don’t know about, I’d really like to know them because I always like having more brothers and sisters. And I think that they should have the right to know that we’re around and that they have not just a dad but brothers and sisters as well. I always freak out Raj because we have another sister, well, I know for sure that we have one sister that we’ve never met, and I always tease him and say that he has to be careful who he kisses in a dance party or a club because it could be his sister.

PAUL VAN REYK: I’d love to meet the other kids. Absolutely. Having seen the ones that I have seen grow up, I’d be delighted to see who these other six were. And to see what part of me and my family stream, my genes, are there.

MARGARET BAIL, FAMILY FRIEND: Well, my sexist opinion is that blokes like to have kids and they see it as a sign of their own sort of machismo, or whatever it is, to have as many kids as possible, so…you know, people like to take pride in maybe 30, 40 kids. I think Paul probably dreams of the day when he’s sitting with an ever larger extended family around him.

PAUL VAN REYK: I think my kids are going to be very scared of me as an old man. I keep threatening them that like King Lear I’m going to spend two months of every year with them in turn. Look, I think I’m going to be incredibly lucky to have kids as I grow older. I don’t fear growing older and being alone or isolated. I have a very rich set of relationships that’ll support me.

[Link: Original Transcript]
[Link: Streaming Video]

Categories: Gay, Paul Van Reyk, Sperm Donor Tags:

The Age – "Rainbow Connection" by Jennifer Cook

Jennifer Cook visits a place where gay mums can share stories and hopes.

THEY’VE trundled down Fitzroy Street in St Kilda before – mums, dads and their children – their numbers growing amid the placards and feather boas. And at this year’s gay Pride march, behind a “Rainbow Playgroup” banner, they received some of the loudest cheers.

It has been almost a decade since Fairplay playgroup in Fairfield was set up, but it has almost iconic status in Melbourne’s gay and lesbian community.

Fairplay secretary Tracey Cocks says it is a place same-sex families come to share their stories and allow their children to see other families like theirs.

“We have become an umbrella organisation for the majority of kids attending gay or lesbian playgroups,” she says. “We now represent playgroups in East Bentleigh, Williamstown, Thornbury, two in Fairfield, a group for gay dads and for single mums.”

Ms Cocks joined the Fairplay group shortly after the birth of her daughter five years ago. “When we first had our daughter we were living in Coburg and I joined a local mothers’ group as well as the Fairplay group,” she said.

“The women in my local mothers’ group were all in their mid-20s, married, with first babies. Although we were very different in terms of our life experiences, they were fantastic.

“When we left that playgroup one of the mums said to me ‘before I met you I really didn’t think lesbians should have children but I realise how wrong I was, so thank you’ – it was very moving.”

Ms Cocks and her partner joined Fairplay to share and discuss their experiences with other same-sex families.

“Some women have conceived using a non-identified donor, some through the Victorian IVF system, others have used donors who have been happy to have their identity released and to have contact with the children,” she says.

“Still others have conceived through a heterosexual or a gay friend. I also know of three cases where a lesbian mum and a gay father are living together raising a child.

“Our family includes two gay dads who have regular contact so our daughter has two mums and two dads, which makes birthdays crazy affairs.”

Ms Cocks recalled her reaction when Prime Minister John Howard said every child was entitled to have a mother and a father. “I thought at the time that he must love us because our daughter has two of each,” she laughed.

“I do remember a child of a single mother at my daughter’s kinder saying it wasn’t fair because my daughter had two dads and she didn’t.”

Ms Cocks says she was concerned about her child facing bullying at school, citing a 2004 Melbourne study by Dr Ruth McNair. It found that just under half of children in years 3 to 6 who had gay parents had been bullied because of their family difference.

“This concerned and saddened me. I think in the inner-city suburbs people are coping quite well with different family types,” she says. “But the reality is that not everyone is financially able to live in the inner city or, like us, send their child to a private school.”

Sam Walsh and her partner Jenny Clark have two daughters, 22-month-old Greta and nine-month-old Hester. They live in Regent, a suburb bordering Preston and Reservoir.

Like Ms Cocks, Ms Walsh went along to the Fairfield playgroup to show her daughters there are other types of families like theirs.

From that playgroup she and some other mums started their own “Rainbow Connection” playgroup at Thornbury, which has 15 families with children ranging from five weeks to four years of age.

“It was really nice to have other children running around calling out ‘mummy’ and ‘mama’,” Ms Walsh says.

She says that she isn’t concerned about her children being bullied because of their parents’ sexuality.

“We don’t really have those concerns because Jen, being a teacher, knows how those issues can be handled,” she says. “Jen is a prep teacher at Moonee Ponds Central primary school and we have friends who have kids at Mill Park primary and both communities have been very accepting.

“Because Jen knows how great the state system can be, we are both keen to send our children to public schools. We like the idea of our kids growing up living near their friends.

“We are just like any other parents, we want to raise well-adjusted kids who, with whatever they have to face in life, they can cope with it.”

Paras Christou and Annie Stephens are parents of 22-month-old Marlow and also members of the Rainbow Connection playgroup.

“I heard about the Rainbow Connection playgroup through friends and called Sam – after talking to her I couldn’t wait to come along. As soon as I walked in the door, it was instantly welcoming and I was really happy I made the effort.”

Ms Christou says she is usually the one answering questions about her family, adding it was great to hear the stories of other women.

“Annie and I agree that we are so comfortable with who we are that we don’t need to make a big fuss – we don’t need to fly a banner,” Ms Christou says.

“We are comfortable to exist in a gay community and also live in a wider community. We know we can provide a home with an abundance of love and security – hopefully for Marlow being a same-sex family won’t be an issue.

“We want him to know that it is OK to be different.”

Inquiries for Fairplay playgroups contact Tracey Cocks on 0427 811 186

[Link: Original Article]

QUT Law & Justice Journal – "Re Patrick and the rights and responsibilities of sperm donor fathers in Australian family law" James McConvill & Eithne


Re Patrick and the rights and responsibilities of sperm donor fathers in Australian family law by James McConvill & Eithne Mills

I INTRODUCTION

We are in an era of rapid scientific development in the manner in which a child can be created. Society is increasingly accepting of using technology to make babies. …
The most important debate is not about how we create babies but protecting their rights. At the very least, as a community we must be able to define clearly a child’s parents, father, mother and family.[1]

The matter of Re Patrick[2] was the first case in Australia, and one of the first cases in the world, to deal with the issue of whether a sperm donor has a right of contact with the child under family law. Although the sperm donor father was granted access to the child on the basis of the child’s best interests, Guest J of the Family Court of Australia also held that the sperm donor was not a ‘parent’ under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) (‘Family Law Act’).[3]

Despite the enormous significance of Re Patrick from both a legal and social perspective, there has been little commentary on the case up to this point in time.[4] This is perhaps due to a very tragic set of events which followed Guest J’s order. The mother of Patrick did not handle at all well the decision by Guest J that the sperm donor was the ‘father’ of Patrick and that the father was to have four-hour fortnightly contact visits with Patrick, which would increase gradually as Patrick got older. It is understood that the mother had had psychiatric treatment since the court case to try and deal with the father’s involvement in Patrick’s life (according to press reports, the father was enjoying a healthy relationship with Patrick).[5] However, the treatment did not have the desired effect, and in August 2002 the mother took her own life and the life of little Patrick (then two years old).

Whilst the authors were understandably shocked and deeply upset by the mother’s action, we resolved that it was still appropriate to comment on the case and to support the decision of Guest J in Re Patrick that the sperm donor father be allowed access to the child. The authors also believe that, consistent with the best interests of a child, a known sperm donor should be regarded as a ‘parent’, and accordingly the article contains proposed amendments to Australia’s Family Law Act which would achieve this.

The authors will make the argument that if the Family Law Act is to expressly recognise that a sperm donor is to have rights in relation to the child, then the sperm donor should also have responsibilities in relation to the child consistent with what is in the best interests of the child.

II CHILDREN’S RIGHTS IN AUSTRALIAN FAMILY LAW

Read in the abstract, the objects and principles of Part VII of the Family Law Act (titled ‘Children’) are clear and unambiguous. The objective of the provisions is to ensure that children receive adequate and proper parenting to help them achieve their full potential, and to ensure that parents fulfil their duties concerning the care, welfare and development of their children.

It is an accepted principle of Australian public law that international legal rules (increasingly being in the form of formal treaties) have no direct effect under domestic law until implemented through legislative action (the so-called ‘transformation’ theory).[6] Accordingly, Part VII of the Family Law Act was drafted with the aim of incorporating the rules and principles contained in the 1989 UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (the ‘UN Convention’).[7] The UN Convention, ratified by Australia in December 1990, recognises a broad range of children’s rights. The rights of the child do not depend on the status of the parents of that child; as equity and justice demands, they are rights accorded to children per se.

Article 3(1) of the UN Convention stipulates that in actions concerning children, the best interests of the child is the paramount consideration. Article 7 indicates that, as far as possible, the child has the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents. Article 9(3) indicates that children of separated parents have a right to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis except where it is contrary to their best interests.

Articles 18 and 19, respectively, require state recognition of the principle that both parents share responsibility for the development of their child and, further, the state must take appropriate legal, administrative, social and educative measures to protect children from all forms of violence and abuse.

As the Full Court held in B and B: Family Law Reform Act 1995 (‘B and B’),[8] the reforms made by the Family Law Reform Act 1995 (Cth) to the Children provisions contained in Part VII represent a major restatement of the law rather than simply semantics.[9] Indicative of this is the lack of proprietary language in the reform act, which emphasises the concept of parental responsibility for a child’s care, welfare and development. By introducing the concept of parental responsibility, Parliament was seeking to remove proprietorial notions surrounding the parent/child relationship, consistent with the terminology and philosophy of the Convention.[10] The influence of the Convention is particularly evident in the statement of objectives in s 60B of Part VII of the Family Law Act.[11]

In B and B, a case which involved the question of the extent to which children are able to enforce the rights enumerated in s 60B, the prevailing message from the Full Court was that in matters under Part VII, the ‘essential inquiry’ is the best interests of the child. This is clear from s 65E which states that when considering parenting orders, the Court must regard the best interests of the child as the paramount consideration.

Section 60B(2) also indicates that the principles it enumerates are subject to this consideration. The Full Court in B and B indicated that the best interests of the child are to be determined in light of the relevant guiding factors in s 68F(2),[12] and the objects and principles set out in s 60B, with the weight to be given to each consideration being determined by the particular facts of the case. This finding was affirmed in Marriage of R.[13]

The concept of parental responsibility may be found in s 61C(1) of the Family Law Act, which stipulates that each parent of a child under 18 years has parental responsibility for that child. Section 61B defines parental responsibility to mean ‘all the duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which, by law, parents have in relation to children’. The term takes its origins from the Children Act 1989 (UK) and, subject to court orders, it is ongoing despite changes to, or the termination of, the marital relationship. Whatever the marital status of the parties, parents are encouraged to make agreements in relation to matters concerning their children, rather than seeking a judicial response.

III THE CASE OF RE PATRICK

A The Factual Background

The authors consider it important to provide a full discussion of the facts involved in Re Patrick to provide the reader with a complete picture of the very sad set of events which Guest J was confronted with and required to piece together to achieve some sort of resolution.

The proceedings in Re Patrick involved a homosexual sperm donor (‘the father’), a lesbian couple and a 2 year old boy. In January 1998, the father entered into an agreement with the mother and her partner (‘the co-parent’) to p
rovide genetic material for the purpose of artificially inseminating the mother. Although the terms of that agreement were bitterly contested at the hearing, it was plain to the court that the pregnancy of the mother followed many months of cooperation between the parties. In early January of 1999, the mother and the co-parent informed the father of the pregnancy. The earlier cooperation leading to the pregnancy was lost, and the relationship between the parties became one of animosity, so much so that the arrangements for the birth of Patrick (born on 11 September 1999) were kept secret from the father. Upon learning of the birth, however, the father instituted proceedings inter alia for contact with Patrick. On 2 June 2000, final orders for contact between the father and child were made by consent between the parties. These orders proved unacceptable to the mother and co-parent, with the result that when the matter came before Guest J, the positions of the parties were polarised. On 8 May 2001, the mother and co-parent filed an application with the Family Court pleading that the orders made on 2 June 2000 be discharged. The relevant orders made that day by Registrar Harold were as follows:

2. That the child Patrick born on 11 September 1999 reside with the mother and the co-parent.
3. That the mother and the co-parent have joint responsibility for decisions concerning the long term and day to day care, welfare and development of the child.
4. That the mother and the co-parent keep the father advised of any major health and education issues concerning the child.
5. That the father have contact with the child as follows:
(a) Each third Sunday from 8.30am to 10.30am or such other day or times as may be agreed commencing 25 June 2000.
(b) Such other contact as may be agreed.
(c) At the residence of LD or JB or such other venue as may be agreed.
(d) That upon the mother and the co-parent providing to the father 21 days’ notice in writing of their intention to and dates of travel, contact for one period shall be suspended on one occasion in the year 2000.
(e) With the person nominated by the mother and the co-parent to be available to the child.
6. That each party keep the others advised of their residential address and contact telephone number.
7. That if contact is unable to take place pursuant to 5(a) then contact shall take place on the following Sunday or at such other date or time as may be agreed.
8. That pursuant to Section 65L these parenting orders be supervised until 2001 by such counsellor as nominated by the Manager of Mediation to give any party to these orders such assistance as is reasonably requested by that party in relation to compliance with, and the carrying out of the parenting order.

On that occasion, the court noted that the contact orders detailed above were to remain in place until Patrick reached two years of age, and thereafter to be reviewed as Patrick matured. The court also noted that unless the father sought otherwise, the mother and co-parent were not to accompany Patrick during contact visits. It was further noted that the father agreed that the mother and co-parent have joint responsibility for decisions concerning the long-term and day-to-day care, welfare and development of Patrick. On 17 May 2001, the father sought orders at variance with those orders sought by the co-parent. The father sought final orders for contact with Patrick as follows:

1. That as from 11 September 2001, Order 5 of the orders of 2 June 2000 be discharged and that father have contact with the child as follows:
(a) from 10am to 1pm on 16 September and 30 September;
(b) from 10am to 3pm on 14 October, 28 October and 11 November;
(c) from 10am to 5pm on 25 November and each alternate Sunday thereafter until the child is three years of age;
(d) that the father have overnight contact with the child from Saturday 5pm to Sunday 5pm on five occasions before the child is three years of age such contact to coincide with the contact weekend in paragraph (1)(c) hereof;
(e) from 10am Saturday to 5pm each alternate weekend commencing when the child is three years of age;
(f) such further or other contact as agreed between the parties.

By the time the matter came before Guest J, the position of the mother and co-parent had changed to such a degree that Patrick could see his father for a period of no more than 3 hours twice per year unless the mother and co-parent agreed otherwise. The history leading up to the conception of Patrick is indicative of the quite complex arrangements which may have to be made by a lesbian mother desiring parenthood. Although the father and mother of Patrick first met socially in 1989, it was not until ten years later that the parties discussed seriously the likelihood of parenting a child.

On 5 January 1998, the mother invited the father to her home for the purpose of interviewing him as a prospective donor. On the 12 January 1998, the father made known his willingness to be a donor of genetic material to the mother. To this end, the father very soon after attended a sexual health centre in order to undergo tests for any sexually transmitted disease in anticipation of attempting to conceive a child with the mother. At the end of January 1998, a meeting was held in order to allow all of the parties to discuss the hoped for pregnancy and the role of the respective parties.

The following day the first attempt at conception took place. Somewhere between 26 and 36 attempts followed between 31 January 1998 and 16 December 1998. During the lapse of time between January and December 1998, it was obvious that the parties felt some disquiet at the failure to conceive. On 20 March 1998, the father had his semen analysed at the Mercy Hospital in Melbourne at the request of the mother due to their failure, despite artificial insemination, to achieve pregnancy. Attempts were discontinued for two months owing to the father’s absence in order to compete in the Gay Games held in Holland. Upon his return, the parties discussed the continuation of the process of artificial insemination, and agreed that it should continue. In January 1999, the mother’s pregnancy was confirmed to the father. This news was celebrated privately and publicly. It would appear from the evidence that celebration turned to dissention. On 8 March 1999, the father attended the home of the mother and co-parent in order to discuss the progress of the pregnancy and the care of the expected baby. It was then that the mother told the father of her wish to deliver the child without the presence of the father.

Within days of the meeting, the co-parent telephoned the father with news of the mother’s acceptance into a birthing centre. Very soon afterwards, the father in a telephone conversation with the mother and co-parent, asked that they change their minds and allow him to be present at the birth. Although it is not apparent from the facts of the case by whom mediation was instigated, it is a fact that on 14 April 1999 the parties attempted to reach an agreement regarding proposed care arrangements for the prospective child with the aid of mediator Michael Madden. The mother and co-parent had drafted an agreement for the occasion. No collective agreement was reached. On 21 April 1999 a further mediation session was held with Michael Madden. Again, no concrete agreement emerged. A third meeting was arranged for 7 May 1999. The mother and co-parent, however, cancelled. From that time, the evidence suggests that the mother and co-parent prevented the father from any further involvement with the birth.

Sometime later the father instructed a solicitor to seek details of the pregnancy and forthcoming birth from the solicitor of the mother and co-parent. No information in that regard was forthcoming. Instead, the former solicitor for the mother and co-parent advised that they no longer held instructions to act. They further a
dvised that they had no details of the hospital in which the birth was to take place or of the date in which the mother was expected to deliver the baby.

Sometime after the birth of Patrick on 11 September 1999, the father learned of the baby’s arrival from a mutual friend of the father and mother. Despite the father now being aware of the birth, he was still unaware of the mother and co-parent’s whereabouts. It would appear from the facts of the case that through the services of a private investigator, the father was given an address at which the mother, co-parent and Patrick resided. Subsequently, the father made an application to the Family Court in which he sought inter alia the following outcome:

* that the mother and father have joint responsibility for making decisions concerning the long term care, welfare and development of Patrick;
* that the child reside with the mother, and
* that the father have contact with Patrick:
* on two occasions each week for two to three hours until the child was nine months old;
* thereafter on two occasions each week for five hours; and
* on two occasions each week to include overnight after Patrick was two years of age.[14]

The mother responded by asking the Family Court for an outright dismissal of the father’s application or, as an alternative, final orders as followings:

* that Patrick live with the mother and co-parent who shall retain joint responsibility for his long term care, welfare and development;
* that the mother and co-parent be responsible for Patrick’s day to day care, welfare and development; and
* that the father have supervised contact with Patrick twice yearly as agreed between the parties.

The Court adjourned the applications until 23 November 1999. On that date, the co-parent applied for leave to intervene in the proceedings. Orders were made by consent that leave be granted to intervene, and to respond to the father’s application on or before the 6 December 1999. The matter was then adjourned to the Registrar’s Duty List to be held 14 December 1999. In addition, all parties were ordered to attend counselling in accordance with s 62F(2) of the Family Law Act on 6 December 1999 and subsequent dates as directed.[15]

On 6 December 1999, the parties attended separate appointments with a confidential counsellor. This achieved little by way of agreement. Three days later, the co-parent also filed a response to the father’s application of the 18 October 1999 in which she sought an order that the father’s application be dismissed. In addition, she sought an order that the mother and she have joint responsibility for the long-term and day-to-day care, welfare and development of Patrick. She sought further orders that Patrick continue to live with the mother and herself and that the father’s contact with Patrick be otherwise reserved.

On 14 December 1999, all parties agreed to adjourn the matter to 10 February 2000. In the intervening time, Patrick, at the age of 14 weeks, had his first contact with his father. He saw his father again on 14 January 2000. The matter next came before the court on 10 February 2000. On that date, orders were made appointing a child representative for Patrick. The matter was then adjourned to 31 March 2000. Consent orders, however, were made allowing the father to see Patrick on several occasions. These orders inter alia provided: that the father have contact with Patrick on 5 March 2000, and 25 March 2000, between 10.30am and 12.00 noon (or on such other dates that may be agreed between the parties).

In addition, the parties consented to a welfare report to be prepared by Mr Vincent Papaleo to be presented to the Court. On 31 March 2000, the matter was further adjourned to 2 June 2000. It was also ordered that the father have contact with Patrick between 10.30am and 12 noon on three occasions, 16 April 2000, 5 May 2000 and 27 May 2000. The proposed contact for 16 April 2000 was cancelled by the mother and co-parent. The father did, however, see Patrick on the other two occasions ordered. So on 2 June 2000, final orders were made by consent. The 2 June 2000 final orders have been reproduced earlier in this description of the facts. It would appear from the facts that in terms of the father’s contact with Patrick, the orders were successful until 31 December 2000, when the mother and co-parent cancelled the next scheduled date of contact. This meant that the father did not see Patrick between 10 December 2000 and 21 January 2001.

On 26 October 2000, the mother and co-parent wrote to the father detailing concerns regarding Patrick’s interaction with his father and close relatives. Guest J reproduced the communication in his judgment. It is again reproduced here in order to emphasise issues of contention between the parties.

It has come to our attention that during contacts you are introducing your family members to Patrick using familial terms like `your grandmother’, `your aunt’ and `your cousin’.

Presumably you are also referring to yourself, or being referred to by your guests, as Patrick’s `dad’. This method of introducing your family, and labelling his relationship to them is likely to cause Patrick confusion and distress in the future as it is in direct contradiction to the reality of how Patrick experiences his family and the way in which we will be speaking of you and your family.

It is clearly our responsibility as Patrick’s lesbian parents and the people who have long term and day to day care for Patrick, to ensure that Patrick feels positive about and understands his alternative family structure and his method of conception, and to guide Patrick through the associated complex emotional, ethical and social issues. It is our responsibility to ensure that the people Patrick has contact with respect him, his family and the decisions we make as his parents. These people include you and the people you bring to contacts.

[Later]

Patrick has contact with lots of people who aren’t in his direct family or extended family but who are never-the-less significant. This includes the contact he has with you and your family. Patrick will know that you and your relatives have a biological relationship to him because he will know that you are his donor. We are happy to refer to you as the father in Patrick’s presence, but absolutely do not accept or support you referring to yourself, or encouraging Patrick to call you dad, father or any other such title. Nor do we accept or support familial terms like grandmother/grandson, aunt/nephew or cousin to be used in Patrick’s presence in reference to your relatives.

[Later]

Patrick lives in a cultural and community setting in which his family as we define it is acknowledged and affirmed:- by us, his extended family, our friends, his playgroup and the broader gay-friendly members of our society. He often hears the word donor and already knows many children in similar situations who have varying levels of contact with their donors. Patrick will grow up knowing the difference between a donor and a father. The discrimination against lesbian families is considerable and the decisions we are making in regard to how to support Patrick in this regard are not made on a whim but rather through extensive personal experience and research:- books, articles, conferences, support groups, professional advice and anecdotes. Patrick is part of a socially disadvantaged minority group, and thus has special needs …

We believe that you can choose to make Patrick’s life easier by supporting us in the decisions we make as Patrick’s parents, and that you can use contacts as a time in which to establish a relationship with Patrick which is not based so much on pre-conceived roles such as `father’ and `son’ but on a more individual basis. …

Patrick will eventually be old enough to understand the issues that sur
round his family, his conception and the broader matrix of his biological origins. Until he is old enough not to be confused or overwhelmed by these issues we, as his parents, will be making those decisions for and with him. If we are ever going to be able to speak amicably to Patrick about you and your family, we need to feel that you are granting the same respect that you would offer any other intact, valid and complete family. We are proud of our family and would certainly prefer to be in a position where we could encourage Patrick to be proud of his connection to you.

… (emphasis added)

On 6 December 2000, the father replied in terms which Guest J described as ‘conciliatory, sensitive and understanding’.[16] The father stated the following:

Thank you for your letter of 26 October. It was great to see Patrick last time on 26 November, he is really looking well and happy. Thank-you once again for making the visits possible and please pass on my thanks to LD for her kindness in giving up her time and making her house available. I look forward to these visits with Patrick and he is a credit to you both. He is growing up so fast now and I notice quite distinct changes every time I see him. While this has been a terribly difficult time for us all I tell myself that the most important thing is that Patrick is healthy and happy. I hope that things can improve between us.

I have taken on board, and accept your concerns about how my relationship with Patrick can be best explained to him in the future. In the agreement between us signed in June this year I did sign over to you both, residence, day to day and long term care and decision making for Patrick. This was agreed to by me at that time for the following reasons:

* That I believed it was in Patrick’s best interests;
* To show my willingness to support you both and your position as Patrick’s primary care givers;
* To try to improve the situation between myself and you both;
* To avoid further damaging and costly litigation.

In no way do I wish to undermine your relationship and I haven’t sought to do this in the past. I do however remain father to Patrick and have not given up any of the responsibilities or rights associated with fatherhood. It was agreed from the beginning that I would be a dad/father to our child and it was never agreed by me that I might be seen simply as an uninvolved donor.

Further I am concerned at the confusion Patrick might experience if I am described to him other than as his father. I believe it is important that Patrick should know that he does indeed have a father and one who he has seen regularly and continues to see regularly. It is undesirable for Patrick to grow up believing that there is something missing in his life, his father, when that is clearly not the case at all. It is far better for Patrick to know that he has a father who loves him very much and who he sees on a regular basis. This may not be what you both want and it may not be what I want but I believe that it is in Patrick’s best interests.

In June this year I was challenged by Vincent Papaleo’s report to the court to accept you both as Patrick’s parents. I have tried my best to do so and as I said earlier Patrick is clearly a credit to you both. You too were challenged by the same report to accept that it is in Patrick’s best interests for him to bond with his father and to have an ongoing relationship with his father. I would ask that you consider this. …

On 7 December 2000, the mothers and co-parent wrote to the father stating that, upon his return from contact with the father, Patrick was unusually ‘tired and vulnerable’. On 21 January 2001, the father resumed contact with Patrick. In March of that year, all parties attended confidential counselling, but no agreement was reached. Indeed, the mother and co-parent imposed conditions upon the father’s contact with Patrick which the father found to be unreasonable. These conditions are detailed in the following affidavit lodged with the court on 30 May 2001, in which the mother and co-parent recollect terms of an agreement for contact made in March 2001. It provided as follows (reference to ‘LD’ is to a friend of the mother and co-parent):

(i) The co-parent was to be present during the contact.
(ii) LD was to be ‘available to Patrick’ as we had defined her role in our 6 December letter to the father.
(iii) That he treat LD with more respect re: her role at contacts and the fact that it is her house.
(iv) That the father did not have any parenting responsibilities or rights, despite his claims, hopes and attitude. the co-parent and I held these responsibilities.
(v) That separation anxiety and stress related to contacts were real and serious issues for Patrick and Patrick’s family.
(vi) No photos were to be taken at the contact on 4 March 2001. The father was extremely resistant to this agreement.
….
(viii) The father to stay within fence line of LD’s property in accordance with the orders. We were specifically instructed that the footpath and the nature strip were outside of the fence line.
(ix) No familial terms to be used in regards to the father and his family members’ relationship to Patrick.
(x) No questions to the co-parent re: Patrick’s life outside of contacts unless specifically related to Patrick’s care during the contact.
(xi) All of LD’s property is available during contacts, within reason, under the terms of the order.
(xii) The father finds out more info re: child development in a way that does not increase his sense that he is or should be a parent.
(xiii) Attempt to `normalise’ experience for Patrick to reduce his stress and anxiety.
(xiv) That we all consider a referral for ongoing counselling due to the complexity of the situation.
(xv) That if the father did not change his attitude then chances of a positive relationship with Patrick were minimal.
(xvi) That Patrick needed a shorter contact time or a less stimulated environment in contacts. And that the constant focus on Patrick by the father and his guests, and the amount of unfamiliar toys, books, music, rugs, clothing, drinking cup, tape recorder etc. that he was bringing to contacts was unnecessary and contributing to Patrick and our stress.
(xvii) That the father takes responsibility for packing up and leaving on time.
(xviii) That the father establish a `goodbye’ ritual in last 1/2 hour of contact so as to avoid further confusion, stress and over-tiredness for Patrick.
(xix) That the father could bring his water bottle for Patrick’s usage, but that he was simply to bring it out then make no further reference to it during the contact. He was to refrain from using the water bottle in competition with that provided by the co-parent and I. That it was not his role to provide for Patrick.
(xx) That the father could bring his rugs for his own personal usage, but was to ensure that they were clean and did not smell of his body-odour.
(xxi) That the father could bring a couple of toys with him, and that he was to make more use of the toys, books etc that the co-parent and I provided. That he was again to refrain from engaging in competitive behaviour re: his toys books etc vs. those provided by us.
(xxii) That the father was to refrain from any competitive behaviour re: seeking Patrick’s attention when Patrick was relating to the co-parent.
(xxiii) That all parties reduce the level of attention on Patrick so as to normalise the experience for him and reduce stress, tiredness, confusion etc.
(xxiv) That the father could take one photo only, if Patrick gave his consent for the contact periods on 25 March and 29 April 2001.
(xxv) That the father brings no guests to the contacts on 25 March and 29 April 2001, so as to assess the effect on Patrick and us.
(xxvi) That
the father write down the agreements as he appeared to remember them differently to everyone else in the room and that he not assume room to move in agreements.

These conditions caused the father’s solicitors to write to the mother and co-parent in what appears to be clarification and response to the restrictions. The letter stated:

1. That Patrick is scared when they or their friends try to take a photo. Our client has agreed to take one photo only during his contact visits. It is agreed that our client is to bring the camera out and leave it for ten minutes or so and then ask Patrick if he can take the photo and respond accordingly.
2. That LD finds it offensive that our client spreads his rug on the floor at contact as it constitutes a hazard as Patrick may trip on the rug. Our client has agreed that he will not spread the rug on the floor for Patrick. He will use the rug for his own benefit if necessary.
3. Our client has been permitted to use LD’s tape player to play music but he is not permitted to bring his own tape player as this constitutes `too much input’ for Patrick.
4. Our client has been bringing a whole bag full of toys to contact. This is apparently too much input for Patrick and our client is permitted to bring one or two toys only.
5. There has been an agreement that our client will begin the `goodbye ritual’ by packing up his things before the end of the contact visit and being ready to leave rather than LD signalling the end of the contact visit by announcing that there are just a few minutes left, Patrick being passed to her and whisked away to the back of the house whilst our client packs up and prepares to leave.
6. Our client is permitted to provide his drink cup for Patrick (his Christmas present) to fill it for him and offer it to him, but is not to compete with anything which LD might offer him.
7. Our client is to ensure that Patrick remains strictly within the fence line and is not to walk on the footpath or the nature strip. The contact visit is to be restricted to the boundaries of LD’s property.

In the following months, the relationship between the parties deteriorated to such a degree that contact between the father and Patrick was not permitted from 25 March 2001 until 11 July 2001. During that time, several matters occurred which Guest J considered significant. For example, the mother and co-parent failed to attend a counselling appointment on 1 May 2001. On the day after, the solicitor for the mother and co-parent informed the father’s solicitor that the mother and co-parent considered that further contact between the father and his son was not in Patrick’s best interest and therefore they intended to apply for a discharge of the contact order made on 2 June 2000. Subsequently, the mother and co-parent filed an application out of the Federal Magistrates’ Court of Australia seeking inter alia that the contact orders made on 2 June 2000 be discharged. Any further contact with Patrick by the father was refused by them. On 17 May 2001, the father responded to the application seeking orders in the following terms:

1. That as from 11 September 2001, Order 5 of the orders of 2 June 2000 be discharged and that father have contact with the child as follows:
(a) from 10am to 1pm on 16 September and 30 September;
(b) from 10am to 3pm on 14 October, 28 October and 11 November;
(c) from 10am to 5pm on 25 November and each alternate Sunday thereafter until the child is three years of age;
(d) that the father have overnight contact with the child from Saturday 5pm to Sunday 5pm on five occasions before the child is three years of age such contact to coincide with the contact weekend in paragraph (1)(c) hereof;
(e) from 10am Saturday to 5pm each alternate weekend commencing when the child is three years of age;
(f) such further or other contact as agreed between the parties.

On 19 June 2001, the parties agreed to the reappointment of the child representative, Dr Kovacs. Subsequently, orders were made by Federal Magistrate Phipps on 11 July 2001 directing the parties to see Dr Robert Adler in order that he prepare a welfare report. In addition, Federal Magistrate Phipps ordered that contact ordered pursuant to paragraph 5 of the 2 June 2000 order be resumed on 15 July 2001, allowing the father two hours contact with Patrick. On 10 August 2001, Federal Magistrate Phipps made orders transferring the proceedings from the Federal Magistrates’ Court to the Family Court of Australia.

In October 2001, Dr Adler submitted a report very much in line with the wishes of the mother and co-parent. In paragraph 3 of his report, it was his opinion that the father be allowed contact with Patrick at least twice a year for a period of no more than 3 hours on each occasion, unless more frequent and longer contact be agreed upon by the mother and co-parent. In paragraph 7 of his report, Dr Adler recommended that when Patrick reached a suitable age, he should have a say with regard to contact with his father. The mother and co-parent instructed their solicitor to write to the father’s solicitors proposing settlement in the matter in the terms of Dr Adler’s recommendation. Some days later, the proposal for settlement was rejected by the father’s solicitors. The end of 2001 brought little relief, with the mother and co-parent unilaterally cancelling the father’s contact with Patrick on two occasions. The matter came before Guest J on 21 January 2002.

B The Orders in Re Patrick

Justice Guest granted the father’s application of 17th May 2001 and made the following orders:

(1) That paragraph 5 of the Orders of 2 June 2000 be discharged.

(2) That the father have contact with Patrick as follows:

2.1 As and from the date of this order until 11 September 2002:
2.1.1 each alternate Sunday for a period of four hours at times to be agreed between the parties and failing agreement from 10am to 2pm commencing on Sunday 7 April 2002;
2.1.2 in the event that Father’s Day falls on a non-contact weekend, from 10am to 2pm on Father’s Day; and
2.1.3 as may otherwise be agreed between the parties from time to time.
2.2 As and from 11 September 2002 until 11 September 2003 as follows:
2.2.1 each alternate Sunday for a period of eight hours at times to be agreed between the parties, and failing agreement from 9am to 5pm;
2.2.2 in the event that Father’s Day falls on a non-contact weekend from 9am to 5pm on Father’s Day;
2.2.3 as may otherwise be agreed between the parties from time to time.
2.3 As and from 11 September 2003 until 11 January 2004 in each four week cycle as follows:
2.3.1 in week one on Sunday from 9am to 5pm;
2.3.2 in week three from 9am Saturday to 9am Sunday such contact to continue for a period of two months and thereafter such contact to conclude at 12 noon on Sunday.
2.4 As and from 11 January 2004 to 11 September 2004 in each four week cycle as follows:
2.4.1 in week one on Sunday from 9am to 5pm;
2.4.2 in week three from 9am Saturday to 3pm Sunday;
2.4.3 in the event that Father’s Day falls on a non-contact weekend from 9am to 5pm on Father’s Day;
2.4.4 as may otherwise be agreed between the parties from time to time.
2.5 As and from 11 September 2004 as follows:
2.5.1 each alternate weekend from the conclusion of school / creche on Friday to the commencement of school / creche on Monday, or in the event that the child is not attending school or creche, from 3.30pm Friday to 8.30am Monday;
2.5.2 one half of all school holiday periods at times to be agreed between the parties and failing agreement for the second half of all school holiday periods;
2.5.3 in the event that Father’s Day falls on a non-contact weekend from 9am to 5pm on Father’s Day;
2.5.4 in the event that Mother’s Day falls on a contact wee
kend, such contact be suspended at 9am on Mother’s Day;
2.5.5 on the child’s birthday and the father’s birthday for a period of two hours at times to be agreed between the parties and failing agreement from 4pm to 6pm on the said birthdays;
2.5.6 as may otherwise be agreed between the parties from time to time.

(3) That for the purposes of contact, the father do collect the child from and return the child to the home of the mother and the co-parent.

(4) That paragraph 3 of the orders made on 2 June 2000 do include the following:

‘… AND THAT the father have responsibility for decisions concerning the child’s immediate care, welfare and development whilst the child is having contact with him’.

(5) That pursuant to s 65DA(2) of the Family Law Act 1975 (as amended), the particulars of the obligations these orders create and the particulars of the consequences that may follow if a person contravenes these orders are set out in Annexure A and these particulars are included in these orders.

(6) That the appointment of the child representative be discharged from this day

(7) That pursuant to Order 38 rule 25 of the Family Law Rules this matter reasonably required the attendance of Counsel.

C The Reasoning of Guest J in Re Patrick

It is useful at this point to examine the basis upon which judgment was reached by Guest J in Re Patrick. Of particular significance in Re Patrick was the provisions of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. It follows from the decision that the welfare of the child is the paramount consideration in a decision made relating to children in Australia. In other words, it is the best interests of the child which is to form the linchpin in any major decision of a court exercising family law jurisdiction. Guest J emphasised the point as follows:

In deciding an issue such as this, s 65E of the Act requires me to regard the best interests of Patrick as the paramount consideration. Accordingly, it is a consideration of these best interests that form the cornerstone of my judgment, and remains its final determinant. … In determining that which is in Patrick’s best interests, there are a number of matters which I must consider. They are set out in s 68F(2) of the Act, to which I will return later in this judgment. Subject to matters I will later discuss, I discharge my task in these proceedings having regard to the objects and principles set out in s 60B of the Act, which is in the following terms:
(1) The object of this Part is to ensure that children receive adequate and proper parenting to help them achieve their full potential, and to ensure that parents fulfil their duties, and meet their responsibilities, concerning the care, welfare and development of their children.
(2) The principles underlying these objects are that, except when it is or would be contrary to the child’s best interests:
(a) children have a right to know and be cared for by both their parents, regardless of whether their parents are married, separated, have never married or have never lived together; and
(b) children have a right of contact, on a regular basis, with both their parents and with other people significant to their care, welfare and development; and
(c) parents share duties and responsibilities concerning the care, welfare and development of their children; and
(d) parents should agree about the future parenting of their children.’

It is important to consider what the Full Court said in B and B: Family Law Reform Act 1975 (supra) at par 9.54 when dealing with s.60B of the Act. The court made it clear that the section is a significant part in the exercise as it represented a deliberate statement by the legislature of the object and principles which I am to apply in proceedings under Part VII of the Act. However, the section is subject to s.65E of the Act. The Full Court pointed out that s.60B did not purport to define or limit the full scope of what is ordinarily encompassed by the concept of best interests and went on to say:

‘The object contained in subs (1) can be regarded as an optimum outcome but is unlikely to be of great value in the adjudication of individual cases. The principles contained in subs (2) are more specific but not exhaustive and their importance will vary from case to case. They provide guidance to the court’s consideration of the matters in s.68F(2) and to the overall requirement of s.65E. The matters in s.68F(2) are to be considered in the context of the matters in s.60B which are relevant in that case. But s.65E defines the essential issue.’ See also Paskandy v Paskandy (1999) FLC 92-878 at par 35.[17]

His Honour went on to say that it was incumbent upon him in dealing with s 60B of the Act, to be mindful of the relationship with s 65E of the Act. His Honour referred to the judgment of the Full Court of the Family Court of Australia in B v B:

The object contained in sub-s 1 of s 60B can be regarded as an optimum outcome, but is unlikely to be of great value in the adjudication of individual cases. The principles contained in sub-s 2 are more specific, but not exhaustive and their importance will vary from case to case. They provide guidance to the court’s consideration of the matters in 68F(2) and to the overall requirement of s 65E. The matters in s 68F(2) are to be considered in the context of the matters in s 60B which are relevant in that case. But s 65E defines the essential issue.[18]

Another important issue addressed by Guest J was the position in Australia in relation to the definition of ‘parent’. Whether a person is a parent in Australia under the Family Law Act is not necessarily dependant on a biological or genetic connection. The position is governed by s 60H of the Family Law Act. In the case of the father of Patrick there was, of course, a biological connection. Patrick was born as a result of an ‘artificial conception procedure’ as defined in s 60D of the Family Law Act, in that the conception occurred by artificial insemination.

The relevant legislation in Australia (the Family Law Act, the Child Support (Assessment) Act 1989 (Cth) and the relevant infertility treatment and the status of children legislation of the states and territories) make it abundantly clear that the provision of sperm and a resulting birth may make the donor a father but not a parent. The uniformity of approach is deliberate. In July 1980, the Standing Committee of Commonwealth and State Attorneys-General determined that uniform legislation on the status of children born as a result of artificial insemination by donor treatments should be enacted in all Australian jurisdictions. In short, the legislation is designed to provide that a sperm donor in Australia would incur no liability, nor retain any rights with regard to a child born as a result of a donation of sperm. [19]

Guest J in the part of his judgment in Re Patrick dealing with who is a parent under the Family Law Act, looked to the dicta of Fogarty J in B v J and in particular his Honour’s opinion that:

There is no corresponding provision in the Family Law Act which would exclude a biological parent from otherwise being regarded as a parent. That is to say, that it is not clear that the provisions of s 60H do not enlarge, rather than restrict, the categories of persons who are regarded as the child’s parents. In the case of the Child Support (Assessment Act) 1989 (Cth), it is the words ‘means’ which make it clear that the provision is exhaustive. Prima facie, s 60H is not exclusive, so there would need to be a specific provision to exclude people who would otherwise be parents. Relevantly here, that means the donor of genetic material.[20]

According to Guest J, it follows that under the analysis of Fogarty J, a sperm donor who was not liable under the Child Support (Assessment Act) 1989 (Cth), may still be a parent under the Fam
ily Law Act, because of the non-exhaustive definition in s 60H of that Act. Guest J agreed with a commentary by Danny Sandor[21] that to conclude that a person may not be a parent under relevant State and Territory law, but yet be a parent under the Family Law Act, would give rise to complications, not the least of these being that unknown sperm donors could be saddled with significant responsibilities and rights neither sought nor expected. His Honour agreed with Sandor’s argument that the provisions of the Family Law Act should be in step with State and Territory presumptions, leaving the sperm donor known or unknown, outside the meaning of ‘parent’. According to the present authors, while this conclusion has validity for many participants in donor insemination arrangements, it has little or no relevance in situations of same-sex families where a known donor father is seeking a parental status definition of parenthood which owes more to a heterosexual model than it does to a clinical donation of sperm from an unknown donor.

In the matter of the father in Re Patrick, his Honour was compelled to reach the conclusion that the father was not a parent. In reaching this conclusion, his Honour drew attention to s 60H(3) of the Family Law Act which provides as follows:

(3) If:
(a) a child is born to a woman as a result of the carrying out of an artificial insemination procedure;
(b) under a prescribed law of a Commonwealth, or of a State or Territory, the child is a child of a man;
whether or not the child is biologically the child of a man, the child is his child for the purposes of this Act.

In short, s 60H(3) falls into line with State or Territory legislation in defining the status of parenthood under the Family Law Act. Accordingly, the biological father of Patrick could be a ‘parent’ under the Family Law Act only if there was legislation in Victoria conferring such status on him. In Victoria, the relevant provision is s 10F of the Status of Children Act 1974 (Vic). This section in effect provides that the donor of sperm in circumstances where there is no de jure or de facto marriage, has no rights and incurs no liabilities in relation to a child born as a result of artificial insemination.

The favourable outcome for the father of Patrick was premised not on parental status, but merely on his status as ‘… any other person concerned’ with Patrick’s welfare under s 65C(c) of the Family Law Act.[22] This is highlighted in the following statement by Guest J:

As matters presently stand the father’s position is this. Patrick has the right of contact ‘… with other people significant to (his) care, welfare and development.’ See s 60B(2)(b) of the Act. As a person who is ‘… concerned with the care, welfare and development of the child’, the father may apply for a parenting order pursuant to the provisions of s 65 of the Act. In that event, the child’s best interests are of paramount consideration (s 65E of the Act) and the considerations pursuant to s 68F(2) apply. On that basis the father, whilst not a ‘parent’ can have certain parental responsibilities conferred on him within section 61D(1) of the Act.[23]

It is now six years since Fogarty J remarked in B v J that:

It is a reality of life children are born as a result of a variety of artificial conception procedures, out of non-traditional circumstances, and into non-traditional families. Legislation which deals with the personal and financial responsibility for such children should be clear and exhaustive and should recognise the reality of the situations.[24]

In referring to the comments of Fogarty J, Guest J drew attention to the fact that little or nothing had changed since the judgment of B v J. His Honour stated:

Over five years have passed since his Honour expressed his view and, as these proceedings so starkly highlight, there has been no appreciable progress in this area. During the course of the proceedings, the issue of how to best address the various identified problems was discussed by counsel from time to time at my invitation by reason of my growing concerns.[25]

His Honour was clearly mindful of the legislative complexities in giving voice to the recommendations of Fogarty J. His Honour said:

Whilst one could envisage labyrinthine drafting problems alone, nonetheless, in my view legislation could be considered to recognise the reality in our community of our non-traditional circumstances evidenced in these proceedings and long ago identified by Fogarty J.[26]

In clarifying the basis for the definition of parent in section 60H of the Family Law Act, his Honour stated:

The current provision was designed to maintain consistency between the federal law and the status of children legislation of the states within the Commonwealth. It was also designed to ensure that the opposite sex partner of a woman undergoing artificial insemination treatment is considered a parent of any child conceived through such a procedure, and to protect donors from parenting responsibilities and financial burdens they did not agree to when making available their genetic material.[27]

His Honour went on to make reference to the fact that the model of artificial insemination procedures under Commonwealth and State law fall very much into the traditional heterosexual model, and made the point that ‘given the diversity of gay and lesbian families and the varying role donors play in the lives of children conceived using their donated sperm, the legislature needs to reassess s 60H of the Act and to consider the ramifications of its application in cases such as Re Patrick’.[28]

In the present authors’ opinion, in light of the stated objectives and aims of the UN Convention and of Part VII of the Family Law Act, it makes no sense and cannot in the normal course of events be in the best interests of the child, to be part of an agreement whereby one of the parents of that child is relegated to mere genetic material. In relation to Part VII of the Family Law Act it is not possible to make an agreement which ousts the authority of the Family Court of Australia. Guest J drew attention to this when he stated:

An agreement absolving a father from the obligation to pay maintenance for a child would not be enforceable directly or by way of estoppel. Nor would an agreement absolving the father from any other aspect of parental responsibility. Equally, a written agreement which provided for a donor to have frequent contact with a child could not prevail over a finding by the court, in a given case, that contact was not in the best interests of the particular child. Whilst agreements might be valuable in avoiding, pre-empting or resolving inter-personal disputes between the individuals in donor insemination arrangements, it is the considerations in s 65E[29] and s 68F(2)[30] of the Act rather than the terms of any agreement which will dictate the outcomes for the child.’[31]

In light of these observations by Guest J in Re Patrick regarding the impact of Part VII on the rights and responsibilities of sperm donor fathers, the authors have spent some time considering whether reforms to Part VII could be implemented to improve the position of sperm donor fathers whilst continuing to uphold the best interests of the child as the paramount principle.

IV PROPOSED AMENDMENTS TO AUSTRALIA’S FAMILY LAW ACT

The present authors believe that one part of the decision in Re Patrick, that the known sperm donor was not a parent for the purposes of Part VII of the Family Law Act is unfavourable, given that it means that sperm donor fathers are treated merely as any other person ‘significant to the care, welfare and development of the child’ for the purpose of the Act: s 60B(2)(b).[32] This does not reflect the reality of factual scenarios such as that in Re Patrick where the father is known and has a genuine interest in the care, wel
fare and development of the child, and also undermines the role of the sperm donor father in the life of the child.

It is our contention, consistent with the dictum of Guest J in Re Patrick,[33] that a sperm donor father who has a genuine and proven interest in the care, welfare and development of his child should be considered a ‘parent’ of the child. Not only does this mean that the father is entitled to the rights associated with being a parent under Part VII, but it also means that the father must exercise parental responsibilities, including child maintenance.[34]

After reading the decision of Guest J in Re Patrick, the present authors contemplated whether the problem which arose in Re Patrick as to whether the sperm donor father was a ‘parent’ for the purposes of the Family Law Act could be resolved by simply removing the barrier which stood in Guest J’s way of classifying the sperm donor father a ‘parent’ for the purposes of the Act: s 60H(3). The problem, however, with such a simple amendment would be that all sperm donor fathers would then come to be regarded as a ‘parent’ – meaning both sperm donors known to the mother, and sperm donors who provided their genetic material anonymously to a sperm bank.[35] The authors believe that it would be oppressive, and contrary to the best interests of the child, to extend parental rights and responsibilities to these anonymous sperm donors. It would also undoubtedly deter a significant number of males from donating sperm to assist women who are wanting to conceive through artificial insemination. In a recent article on the decision in Re Patrick, Fiona Kelly also stressed the need to distinguish between known sperm donors and anonymous sperm donors in any proposed legislative amendments to address the position of sperm donors fathers, stating:

It was obviously not Guest J’s intention that all sperm donors be given the status of ‘parent’ . … If the legislature were to agree with Guest J’s view that individuals in the position of the donor father should be considered ‘parents’ under s 60H, it would be necessary to make some legislative distinction between men like the donor father and other sperm donors.[36]

Accordingly, the authors have resolved that the most desirable amendment to the Family Law Act would be to model a new provision on s 11 of the Children (Scotland) Act, which relevantly provides:

11. (1) In the relevant circumstances in proceedings in the Court of Session or sheriff court, whether those proceedings are or are not independent of any other action, an order may be made under this subsection in relation to—
(a) parental responsibilities;
(b) parental rights;
(c) guardianship; or

(2) The court may make such order under subsection (1) above as it thinks fit; and without prejudice to the generality of that subsection may in particular so make any of the following orders—
(a) an order depriving a person of some or all of his parental responsibilities or parental rights in relation to a child;
(b) an order—
(i) imposing upon a person (provided he is at least sixteen years of age or is a parent of the child) such responsibilities; and
(ii) giving that person such rights;
(c) an order regulating the arrangements as to—
(i) with whom; or
(ii) if with different persons alternately or periodically, with whom during what periods,
a child under the age of sixteen years is to live (any such order being known as a ‘residence order’ );

(3) The relevant circumstances mentioned in subsection (1) above are—
(a) that application for an order under that subsection is made by a person who—
(i) not having, and never having had, parental responsibilities or parental rights in relation to the child, claims an interest;
(ii) has parental responsibilities or parental rights in relation to the child;

(b) that although no such application has been made, the court (even if it declines to make any other order) considers it should make such an order.

In effect, s 11 allows the court to make such order as it thinks fit in relation to parental responsibilities or parental rights, and this order may be imposed in the absence of an application by the parent or where the father actively seeks an order from the court.[37]

The authors’ proposed new provision would be Part VIIA of the Family Law Act. While the new Part VIIA would be different from s 11 as Australia’s Act talks about the rights of the child rather than parental rights and responsibilities, the general operation of the provision would be the same: sperm donor fathers who have a genuine interest in the care, welfare and development of the child would be able to apply to the Court for an order that they are a parent of the child for the purposes of the Act. Like s 11 of the Children (Scotland) Act, the best interests of the child would be the Court’s paramount consideration when determining whether or not to grant an order under Part VIIA. To overcome the problem of singling out sperm donors, the provision would refer to ‘biological fathers’ rather ‘sperm donors’. The new Part VIIA would read:

A Part VIIA- Biological fathers

70R-

(a) If the biological father of a child is not the parent of the child for the purposes of the Act due to a provision in Part VII above, the biological father can apply to the Court for an order that they are the parent of the child for the purposes of the Act.
(b) The Court cannot make an order under (a) unless it considers the making of the order to be better for the child’s welfare than not making an order.

The present authors’ believe that our proposed Part VIIA of the Family Law Act responds to the comments of Guest J in Re Patrick in an appropriate and balanced manner. As an order cannot be made until the Court has assessed all the relevant facts (including the willingness and ability of the biological father to be involved in the child’s care, welfare and development, and the attitude of the child towards the biological father) and considered that the making of the order will be better for the child’s welfare than not making an order (in accordance with proposed s 70R(b) of the Act), the new provision will ensure that raising the status of a sperm donor father to that of ‘parent’ will only occur if this is clearly in the best interests of the child. A known sperm donor genuinely interested and involved in the child’s life may want to be a ‘parent’ and therefore apply for an order under new Part VIIA, whereas an unknown sperm donor would be extremely unlikely to apply for an order under Part VIIA and even if they did, the application would certainly fail once the best interests of the child are taken into consideration.

In that sense, the consideration of the interests of the child would be an important protection. It would ensure that even though the Family Law Act would be amended to recognise the rights of sperm donor fathers who are outside what is considered to be the ‘traditional’ understanding of what a ‘parent’ is, the rights of the child would remain the primary focus. This would be achieved not only by incorporating a test to ensure that an order is not granted unless the child’s welfare is improved, but also through the biological father acquiring parental responsibilities once considered to be a parent pursuant to a Part VIIA order.

V CONCLUSION

The case of Re Patrick highlights that the principle of the best interests of the child applies in all cases involving children’s rights, without any exception. The principle cannot be compromised or ignored simply due to one biological parent of a child believing that a complete family unit can be achieved without the involvement of the other biological parent. The important point to come out of
Re Patrick is that lesbian mothers who become pregnant with sperm provided by a known male donor are wrong to assume that they are justified in excluding him from assisting with the care, welfare and development of the child on the basis that he is a ‘mere donor’.

The development of the law in this way is not about undermining the status of lesbian relationships, but rather reinforces the depth and universality of the best interests of the child principle, and demonstrates that it will generally be in a child’s best interests to have regular contact with as many people as possible that have a genuine interest in the child’s welfare.

It therefore becomes important that an educational program be established to support lesbian women contemplating parenthood by making available to them information about the rights and responsibilities that sperm donors could potentially have in relation to the child. It is vital that all lesbian women considering a pregnancy to be achieved through donated sperm have available to them information about the law relating to the status of sperm donors in Australian family law. This way, lesbian women are less likely to become pregnant using the sperm of a known donor unless these women accept that the sperm donor father may become involved in a child’s life to the extent to which this is in the child’s best interests.

[*] Lawyer, Allens Arthur Robinson, Melbourne; PhD (Law) Candidate, Deakin University. This article was written independently of Allens Arthur Robinson, and the views expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of Allens Arthur Robinson.

[**] Lecturer, School of Law, Deakin University.

[1] J Campbell, ‘Hatching, Unmatching and Parental Responsibility’ (2002) 10 Australian Health Law Bulletin 101.

[2] See Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579.

[3] Justice Guest’s reasoning is explained below.

[4] At the time of writing, the only significant academic discussion of Re Patrick is by F Kelly, ‘Redefining Parenthood: Gay and Lesbian Families in the Family Court’ (2002) 16 Australian Journal of Family Law 17 (accessed via Lexis).

[5] See J Szego, ‘Battle for Boy Ends in Double Tragedy’, The Age (Melbourne), 3 August 2002, 1.

[6] See Nulyarimma v Thompson (1999) 165 ALR 621; Minister of State for Immigration and Ethnic Affairs v Teoh (1995) 183 CLR 273. This is compared to the traditional ‘incorporation’ theory that rules of international law become automatically incorporated into domestic common law. It has been suggested that the ‘incorporation’ theory may still reflect the relationship between rules of customary international law and domestic law: See T Blackshield and G Williams, Australian Constitutional Law & Theory: Commentary & Materials (Federation Press, 3rd ed, 2002) 762-3.

[7] Though it should be noted that in B and B: Family Law Reform Act 1995 (1997) 21 Fam LR 676, the Full Court of the Family Court said that, while it is clear that Part VII of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) adopts the terms and principles of the UN Convention of the Rights of the Child, the Convention had yet to be incorporated wholesale into domestic law, and is not specifically referred to in the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth).

[8] (1997) 21 Fam LR 676.

[9] See E Mills, Butterworths Tutorial Series: Family Law (Butterworths, 2001) 86.

[10] See above n 1, 101-2. Campbell provides a good overview of the changes introduced to the Family Law Act in 1996, and discusses how the emphasis is now on parental responsibility rather than parental rights and the rights of the child rather than possession or ownership of children.

[11] Section 60B states:

(1) The object of this Part is to ensure that children receive adequate and proper parenting to help them achieve their full potential, and to ensure that parents fulfil their duties, and meet their responsibilities, concerning the care, welfare and development of their children.

(2) The principles underlying these objects are that, except when it is or would be contrary to a child’s best interests:

(a) children have the right to know and be cared for by both their parents, regardless of whether their parents are married, separated, have never married or have never lived together; and

(b) children have a right of contact, on a regular basis, with both their parents and with other people significant to their care, welfare and development; and

(c) parents share duties and responsibilities concerning the care, welfare and development of their children; and

(d) parents should agree about the future parenting of their children.

[12] Section 68F states:

(1) Subject to subsection (3), in determining what is in the child’s best interests, the court must consider the matters set out in subsection (2).

(2) The court must consider:

(a) any wishes expressed by the child and any factors (such as the child’s maturity or level of understanding) that the court thinks are relevant to the weight it should give to the child’s wishes;

(b) the nature of the relationship of the child with each of the child’s parents and with other persons;

(c) the likely effect of any changes in the child’s circumstances, including the likely effect on the child of any separation from:

(i) either of his or her parents; or

(ii) any other child, or other person, with whom he or she has been living;

(d) the practical difficulty and expense of a child having contact with a parent and whether that difficulty or expense will substantially affect the child’s right to maintain personal relations and direct contact with both parents on a regular basis;

(e) the capacity of each parent, or of any other person, to provide for the needs of the child, including emotional and intellectual needs;

(f) the child’s maturity, sex and background (including any need to maintain a connection with the lifestyle, culture and traditions of Aboriginal peoples or Torres Strait Islanders) and any other characteristics of the child that the court thinks are relevant;

(g) the need to protect the child from physical or psychological harm caused, or that may be caused, by:

(i) being subjected or exposed to abuse, ill-treatment, violence or other behaviour; or

(ii) being directly or indirectly exposed to abuse, ill-treatment, violence or other behaviour that is directed towards, or may affect, another person;

(h) the attitude to the child, and to the responsibilities of parenthood, demonstrated by each of the child’s parents;

(i) any family violence involving the child or a member of the child’s family;

(j) any family violence order that applies to the child or a member of the child’s family;

(k) whether it would be preferable to make the order that would be least likely to lead to the institution of further proceedings in relation to the child;

(l) any other fact or circumstance that the court thinks is relevant.

(3) If the court is considering whether to make an order with the consent of all the parties to the proceedings, the court may, but is not required to, have regard to all or any of the matters set out in subsection (2).

(4) In paragraph (2)(f):

Aboriginal peoples means the peoples of the Aboriginal race of Australia.

Torres Strait Islanders means the descendants of the indigenous inhabitants of the Torres Strait Islands.

[13] (1998) 23 Fam LR 456.

[14] Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579.

[15] Section 62F(2) of the Family Law Act provides:

(2) The court may, at any stage of the proceedings, make an order directing the parties to the proceedings to attend a conference with a family and child counsellor or welfare officer:

(a) to discuss the care, welfare and development of the ch
ild; and

(b) if there are differences between the parties in relation to matters affecting the care, welfare and development of the child—to try to resolve those differences.

[16] Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579, 587.

[17] Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579, 589-590.

[18] Ibid [40].

[19] See above n 4, [65]-[66].

[20] See Re B v J (1996) FLC 92-716, 83,620.

[21] D Sandor, ‘Children Born From Sperm Donation: Financial Support and other Responsibilities in the Context of Discrimination’ (1997) 4 Australian Journal of Human Rights 175.

[22] Section 65C of the Family Law Act provides:

A parenting order in relation to a child may be applied for by:

(a) either or both of the child’s parents; or

(b) the child; or

(ba) a grandparent of the child; or

(c) any other person concerned with the care, welfare or development of the child.

[23] Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579, 647.

[24] B v J (1996) FLC 92-716, 83,621.

[25] Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579, 647.

[26] Ibid.

[27] Ibid.

[28] Ibid 580.

[29] Refer to part II above of this article.

[30] Ibid.

[31] Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579, 648.

[32] See also s 65C of the Family Law Act, in which a sperm donor father, as a person who is ‘… concerned with the care, welfare and development of the child’, may apply for a parenting order. This is discussed by Guest J in Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579, 647.

[33] See Re Patrick (2002) 28 Fam LR 579, 648: ‘…consideration should be given to review the definition of ‘parent’ in s 60H of the Act to take into account that there are varying arrangements between donors and prospective mothers, and that donors such as the father in these proceedings may not only consider themselves a “parent”, but may also be considered by the recipient of the genetic material to be a parent.’

[34] See B v J (1996) FLC 92-716 where the Family Court of Australia held that a sperm donor father was not liable for child maintenance under the Child Support (Assessment) Act 1989 (Cth).

[35] Kelly, above n 4, argues that other problems with amending s 60H to make the donor father a ‘parent’ include that it may result in the creation of a relationship between the donor and child that is not the reality of a child’s life (see [51]), and would undermine the independence and boundaries of the ‘homo-nuclear family unit’ (see [66]).

[36] See above n 4, [55].

[37] See the recent Scottish decision of In the Matter of Child A, decided in the Glasgow Sheriff’s Court, in which s 11 is discussed in detail. This case is available on-line via the Scottish Law Courts website:

[Link: Original Article]

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