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Mark and Allan recently featured in the magazine “That’s Life” with their story “Two men and a baby”.

The Rainbow Families Council have issued their Federal Election Statement.  There are still many areas of the law that discriminate against our relationships and our children.  Make time to see you local member/candidate or at least write them a letter.  The points in this statement are very helpful in raising the matters that affect us all.

?In April 2010, a national network of advocates, community members, researchers and service providers identified the following three priorities for reform and resources at a federal level:

• Marriage equality

• Removal of discrimination in adoption law, and

• Ensuring that federally-funded services are inclusive of children with same-sex parents and their families.

Rainbow Families Council is the Victorian community organisation representing same-sex parented children and their families. We urge all parties and independents running in the federal election to consider these issues.

2010 FULL REPORT – LGBTI National Findings on Relationships and Well-Being

The final and full report of the Australian national NOT SO PRIVATE LIVES survey is now available online.

The 2,032 participants were 18-82 years of age, from each state and territory, and from metropolitan and rural Australia. Results are presented based on gender identity (male, female, and gender different), six age groups (18-19, 20-29, 30-39, 40-49, 50-59, 60-82) and three age cohorts (<25 yrs, 25-34 yrs, 35+ yrs). Additional findings are provided for transgender/transsexual and intersex participants.

[Source: Original Document]

Rodney Croome is an advocate for gay human rights and author of Why vs Why: Gay Marriage. In this impassioned argument he talks about marriage as a bond “to the exclusion of all others”. Croome argues that equal marriage rights – and the right to choice – are highly meaningful if Australia is to consider itself a nation of inclusion. He touches on gay parenting, Gillard’s failure of empathy and six reasons why we should change the laws to allow gay marriage.

[Source: Original Video]

The conference will be covering topics for gay dads in surrogacy, co-parenting, gay dads from a straight relationship, fostering and adoption, step gay dads (partners) and of course gay guys wanting to be dads. More information from Drummond Street Services on 03 9663 6733 or download flyer.

Thanks to Felicity from Rainbow Families for the heads up on this report.  I am posting some details below and a copy of the report is attached.  I have had a quick read of it and it seems like a powerful resource.  It would be good to have something similar done in Australia.  If there are any researchers out there who would like a project to tackle.  I am sure Rainbow Families would be willing to help.

Title: Different Families – The experiences of children with lesbian and gay parents

Press Release: Stonewall today publishes groundbreaking research examining the experiences of children with gay parents. ‘Different Families’ is based on interviews conducted by the University of Cambridge with over 80 children and young people from the age of four, all of whom have lesbian and gay parents. The research also provides shocking insights into the prevalence of homophobia in Britain’s schools, including primary schools. The children who experience this, although not gay themselves, identify that many schools still don’t address it.

‘We still do things together, and we’re still a big family and we’re still happy … and we still care for each other and we’re still there when someone needs someone.’ Jasmin, 8

‘I just feel there’s some difference between the other families and us. The way we all work together … We all link up like a puzzle.’ Eleanor, 8

Ben Summerskill, Stonewall Chief Executive said; ‘For the children of lesbian and gay parents their families look remarkably like everyone else’s. This research highlights how it’s the prejudices of others which often causes them far more distress than their own personal or family characteristics – and is further evidence of the urgent need to tackle homophobia in our schools.’

Among the report’s recommendations, some of which were made by the children interviewed, are for schools to respond robustly to homophobic language and bullying. YouGov polling commissioned last year by Stonewall showed that anti-gay bullying is almost endemic in Britain’s schools. Nine in ten secondary schools teachers reported that children – regardless of their sexual orientation – currently experience homophobic bullying in their schools. This affects children of gay parents too:

‘Sometimes they say … everybody’s got a dad, he must be dead, or something. I say no, he’s not dead, I’ve got a donor dad … sometimes I get teased by them calling my dad a donut dad … They say … I know what gay means, it’s two naked men dancing around on a boat.’ Mark, 8

‘In school I don’t like it how people make fun of gay people. Like when they say “that’s so gay”. Most people say it as a joke, and it’s not funny at all.’ Maheen, 13

‘She said, ‘well your mum’s gay, so why aren’t you?’ … and then it turned to really nasty comments about my mum. Oh your mum’s an effing dyke and all this stuff and I just thought that’s not on …  I just ignored it, but it just got worse.’ Meg, 16

‘Normally people just say like … “gay dad” … and stuff like that. Normally I try and say something back because it like makes me feel better. Or I just try and ignore it. That’s harder obviously … The teachers tell them off but … secretly they always carry on.’ William, 15

[Source: Original Press Release]

Rodney Chiang-Cruise is a lawyer, husband and father. He is also a gay man. Rodney is a member of Gay Dads Australia, a group dedicated to gay men who want to become fathers. Jonathan Duffy recently had a chat with Rodney on the heels of the group’s annual forum. Rodney talks about the group, being a father and what it is actually like to go through the process of surrogacy.

Q: how did Gay Dads Australia start?

Rodney: About 5 years ago a gentleman called Lee Matthews and his partner Tony Wood did a documentary for SBS called Two men and a baby, about their surrogacy journey. Lee was involved with the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby. Through that he started what was initially Gay Dads Victoria. When we decided that we wanted to have a child through surrogacy we tracked Lee and Tony down (some would call it stalking but we weren’t the only ones). We had seen the documentary and wanted to know more. Back then there was little information around. We all became good friends and about four years ago we decided to expand to become Gay Dads Australia.

Q: When you and your partner decided to go down the road of surrogacy, did you know that it was an option for you?

Rodney: no. It was actually my mother who brought it to our attention. She had taped the documentary and told us we should watch it. We hadn’t even thought about it. We had looked at co-parenting and other options but had never considered it.  Our journey started from that point.

Q: Is it true that sometimes it can be expensive?

Rodney: Not as expensive as it used to be. When we went through surrogacy most of the dads were in their 30’s and 40’s because it demanded that you were at a certain place in your life. Usually it meant things like mortgaging your house, which is what we did. When we actually applied for the loan and told the bank manager what it was for, he was worried he wouldn’t get it through head office so he said “lets just put it through as home additions, non structural.”

Q: is it actually easier to go though surrogacy than adoption?

Rodney: Adoption isn’t an option in Australia. On record only one gay couple have ever adopted. They were in WA. There are only about 30 children in the entire country up for adoption each year. Those kids almost exclusively go to heterosexual, married, couples. There aren’t enough kids. Australia has one of the lowest adoption rates in the world because of this.

Q: So what is normally involved?

Rodney: There are two types of surrogacy, altruistic and commercial. Altruistic surrogacy is where there is no exchange of money. It is legal in Victoria, ACT, WA and now Queensland. No gay male couples have done it yet because it’s difficult to find a surrogate, and egg donor. We don’t really have a culture of surrogacy yet; it’s still very new. Most people, straight or gay, will use commercial surrogacy services and they’re mostly located in the US and now in India. The first thing you do is find an agency that will help you. You fly there, meet them, sign papers, pay some money, and then the process starts of finding a surrogate. That can take anywhere from two months to twelve months. At the same time you also have to find an egg donor. All commercial surrogates are called gestational surrogates, which means that the baby is not genetically related to her. You get an egg donor through another agency. Then you “dump the junk.” You make a sperm deposit. Then the egg is fertilised and the embryos are implanted through IVF. Then you come home and cross your fingers and hope you get pregnant. Probably about 60 to 70 per cent of people are successful on the first attempt.

Q: So how much have you spent just getting to this stage?

Rodney: once you get to the pregnancy you’ve probably spent US$60,000 to US$70,000. By the time the whole process is over you could be looking at US$120,000 to US$220,000. It is totally worth it though.

To see the whole interview go to  www.QNews.com.au

[Source: Original Article]

US National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study: Psychological Adjustment of 17-Year-Old Adolescents

Nanette Gartrell, MDa,b,c, Henny Bos, PhDc
Center of Excellence in Women’s Health, University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, California;
Williams Institute, UCLA School of Law, Los Angeles, California;
Graduate School of Pedagogical and Educational Sciences, Faculty of Social and Behavioral Sciences, University of Amsterdam, Amsterdam, Netherlands

OBJECTIVES The objective of this study was to document the psychological adjustment of adolescents who were conceived through donor insemination by lesbian mothers who enrolled before these offspring were born in the largest, longest running, prospective, longitudinal study of same-sex–parented families.

METHODS Between 1986 and 1992, 154 prospective lesbian mothers volunteered for a study that was designed to follow planned lesbian families from the index children’s conception until they reached adulthood. Data for the current report were gathered through interviews and questionnaires that were completed by 78 index offspring when they were 10 and 17 years old and through interviews and Child Behavior Checklists that were completed by their mothers at corresponding times. The study is ongoing, with a 93% retention rate to date.

RESULTS According to their mothers’ reports, the 17-year-old daughters and sons of lesbian mothers were rated significantly higher in social, school/academic, and total competence and significantly lower in social problems, rule-breaking, aggressive, and externalizing problem behavior than their age-matched counterparts in Achenbach’s normative sample of American youth. Within the lesbian family sample, no Child Behavior Checklist differences were found among adolescent offspring who were conceived by known, as-yet-unknown, and permanently unknown donors or between offspring whose mothers were still together and offspring whose mothers had separated.

CONCLUSIONS Adolescents who have been reared in lesbian-mother families since birth demonstrate healthy psychological adjustment. These findings have implications for the clinical care of adolescents and for pediatricians who are consulted on matters that pertain to same-sex parenting.

[Source: Original Article]

Newswise – The first study ever to examine the experiences of gay male partners who became fathers via surrogacy shows that they are more likely than heterosexual fathers to scale back their careers in order to care for their children. Also, these fathers report that their self-esteem and their closeness with their extended families increases after becoming parents.

In most respects, life changes resulting from parenthood were very much like those experienced by heterosexual couples – closer relations with co-workers, a transition away from single friends toward other couples (straight and gay) with children, and less time for sleep, exercise, and hobbies.

The study involved 40 gay men who became parents through surrogacy, an assisted reproductive technique in which prospective parents contract with a woman to carry a child through pregnancy to birth. In most cases, the egg is obtained independently from a different woman (an "egg donor") than the woman who carries the baby (the "surrogate"). The child is genetically related to one of the gay male parents. The surrogacy process is complex and very expensive, and participating couples in the study were affluent.

The study was conducted by four psychology researchers–Kim Bergman of Growing Generations in Los Angeles (a surrogacy agency), and Ritchie J. Rubio, Robert-Jay Green, and Elena Padrón of the Rockway Institute at the California School of Professional Psychology, Alliant International University, San Francisco. Study results were published in the latest issue of the Journal of GLBT Family Studies,6:111-141, 2010.

The study gathered information from one partner in each of 40 couples through hour-long interviews conducted in person or by telephone. The parents’ median age was 41, and their average annual household income was $270,000. The median age of participants’ children was one year and ten months.

The study gathered information on four aspects of the participants’ experience as they transitioned to parenthood: 1) work and career changes, 2) lifestyle issues, 3) couple, family and friendship experiences, and 4) self-esteem and self-care.

Work and career changes included changing work life in terms of travel, hours and career path (reported by 70 percent of participants); going through occupational changes (65 percent); having sacrifices, losses and missed opportunities in work life (53 percent); and making changes in career goals (53 percent). The fathers reported that their relationships with peers at work improved, while their relationship with superiors at work remained the same. "It is noteworthy," the researchers wrote, "that many of these gay fathers negotiated their career prospects downward and focused on their parenting responsibilities as being primary, at least for the time being while their children were so young … This is in sharp contrast to heterosexual fathers, who often augment their work hours and career commitments after having children."

Lifestyle issues involved a variety of experiences, from buying a larger car or expanding the house to lower frequency and cost of travel. Nearly two-thirds of the new dads bought a new car or made changes in their housing to accommodate their child. Sixty percent hired child care assistance. Nearly all (90 percent) reported changing their business and leisure travel in terms of frequency, length of time, and cost. Two-thirds (65 percent) reported changes in their financial status. Eighty-five percent reported completing or updating their estate planning.

The new fathers encountered many changes in relations with family, friends and co-workers. The couples had been together an average of 12 years, and none had dissolved their relationship after becoming parents. They acknowledged a decrease in romance and personal intimacy with their partners, though they said their relationships remained romantic. Most fathers reported that relationships with their families of origin had become closer and that having a baby increased recognition of the couple as a family. Relations with co-workers often improved because of the shared parenting experience. The new dads reported changes to their social life, with fewer late-night and weekday engagements and a gradual trend toward socializing with other couples who have children, rather than single friends.

One of the notable findings was that having a child significantly improved the gay fathers’ self esteem. Nearly all (95 percent) said having a child "makes me feel good about myself" and that their self-esteem had improved since being a parent. The new fathers reported they were taking less care of themselves by sleeping and exercising less and devoting less time to hobbies, leisure activities and involvement in personal causes. Although their reported spirituality had not changed significantly, more of the new parents (an increase from 25 to 38 percent) reported they were attending religious services since adding a child to their family.

The researchers observed that the new fathers "felt extremely positive and proud about being parents … The narratives of the gay fathers in this study underscore how being a parent contributed to greater meaning in their lives … They derived pleasure and pride in taking care of their children, while they also received increasing validation from their families and their communities."

"Our findings reinforce the growing research evidence that the sexual orientation of the parents makes little difference in parenting. At this early stage of child development, the infant’s or toddler’s needs drive the family interactions and structure the couples’ relationships with friends and relatives. This is as it should be. Gay couples are making major accommodations in their lives just like their heterosexual counterparts who become parents," said Robert-Jay Green, PhD., executive director of the Rockway Institute.
The researchers’ next study will compare the psychological outcomes of children raised by heterosexual parents and children conceived via surrogacy and raised by gay male parents.

About Rockway Institute: The nonpartisan Rockway Institute promotes scientific and professional expertise to counter antigay prejudice and improve public policies affecting lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people. The Institute’s view is that public opinion, policies, and programs should be shaped by the facts about LGBT lives, not by political ideology. A primary goal is to organize the most knowledgeable social scientists, mental health professionals, and physicians in the United States to provide accurate information about LGBT issues to the media, legislatures, and the courts. The Institute also conducts targeted research projects to address the nation’s most pressing LGBT public policy concerns. Website: www.rockwayinstitute.org

To obtain a copy of the original article as published:
Dr. Robert-Jay Green, Tel. 415-955-2121; Email: rjgreen@alliant.edu.

To contact the researchers for further information:

Dr. Kim Bergman, Growing Generations, LLC, Los Angeles, CA
Tel. 323-965-7500 ext. 4715; Email: kim@fertilitycounselingservices.com

Dr. Robert-Jay Green, Rockway Institute at Alliant International University, San Francisco, CA
Tel. 415-955-2121; Email: rjgreen@alliant.edu

[Source: Original Article]

Stephen Page of the wonderful Australian Gay and Lesbian Law Blog has published some guidelines for prospective lesbian parents in Queensland.  He is one of my favourite bloggers and worth subscribing to his feeds.

1. Get legal advice before the child is conceived!
Once the child is conceived, too late! Same sex parenting can be a legal minefield about legal rights and responsibilities. Don’t create a mess and then wonder what went wrong.

2. At the time of conception, you must live in a de facto relationship.
If you don’t live together in a de facto relationship, the laws don’t apply to you. The mother will be    presumed to be single. Overseas same sex marriages are not recognised in Australia. Being in a de facto relationship at any time during the pregnancy, or at the time of birth; but not conception, is too late.

3. The form of conception must be artificial.
If your partner had sex with the man, resulting in conception, the laws do not apply to you. The man is the father, both by genetics and law. IVF is not required. A turkey baster or syringe is sufficient.

4. Your partner should not be married.
There seem to be conflicting, or potentially conflicting rules if the mother of the child is married. It is quite possible that the mother might be married and in a de facto relationship with another woman eg the mother separated from her husband some years before, but never bothered to get divorced.

5. The father must not be shown on the birth certificate.
If he is, then you cannot have him removed from the birth certificate without a court order. Good luck!

6. The birth must have been in Queensland.

7. The birth can have been at anytime.
The change is retrospective: it can be anytime before, on or after 1 June, 2010.

8. You’re shown as "parent" and your partner is shown as "mother" on the birth certificate.

9. Two’s company, three’s a crowd.
There is only allowance for up to two people to be recognised on the birth certificate: the mother; the mother and father, or mother and partner.

10. Both you and your partner fill out the form.
Lesbian co-parents will be recognised for the first time in Queensland law on their children’s birth certificates, starting this Tuesday 1 June.

The changes are contained in the Surrogacy Act 2010 which was passed earlier this year, but does not take effect until Tuesday. That Act made changes to both the Status of Children Act 1978 (which governs presumptions about parentage of children) and the Births, Deaths and Marriages Registration Act 2003, which (obviously) deals with the registration of births, deaths and marriages.

[Source: Original Article]